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What if.. (15)

Bandar couldn't believe this was happening now. For two years after their break up he felt like he was holding his breath, he only let out a sigh of relief when Maha told him that Sultan got married during the summer after his graduation and took his wife with him to the States.. which was why he'd stopped taking Hind's calls so ubruptly. Bandar, not being satisfied with this at that time, decided to investigate further, so he called one of his friends in Dubai, who as far as Bandar knew was the King of Gossip in Dubai,
"Hala A7med, kaifek?"
"Hala hala Bandar.. B5air Allah ysalemk.. int sh7alek?"
After exchanging the usual pleasentaries Bandar asked about Sultan,
"A7med, t3erf Sultan Al-........."
"Yeah a3arfa.. laish?"
"La bs ba'3ait as2al 3anah.. ukhooy fe New York met him o yemda7ah"
"Eee eee uhwa weld nas o met3alem.. yedres PhD al7en fe New York.."
"Hmm.. ee.." Bandar paused for a few seconds waiting for the story to come,
"Bas ygoloon Allah ysalemk ina ubooh falas lama kan ho yadres fe London.. o ilwalad akbar wa7ed fe il3aila o 9aro kilhum yen6eroon ilfaraj 3ala eydaih.. 6ab3an ilwalad sha6er.. laken sharekat uboh kanat 5asrana o 3alaihum dyoon belmalayeen.. fa shsawa ilwalad.. 5e6ab bint Mohammed Al-..........., o 9ar fe youm o laila millionaire o sob7an Allah 9arat ilshareka rab7ana..." Ahmed continued with more details, but to Bandar this was the story. So it was final.. it was his choice.. he chose money over Hind.. he chose to sell himself over Hind.. for a few seconds Bandar actually felt sorry for Sultan. He felt it was sad that a person would see marriage as a final resort, that he would feel helpless to the point where he would let go of everything he ever wanted and throw himself into a life changing decision. Then he remembered Hind. Her beautiful sad face, the way he broke her spirit, the way she would be laughing and then all of a sudden something would trigger a memory and she'd be lost in her thoughts. He remembered her trips to therapists and hypnotists all attempting to rid her of her nightmares and all failing. And again he hated Sultan. He hated him for taking the easy way out and letting a young 18 year old carry all this pain alone.
Hind left Bandar and went home to pack as they were both heading to Dubai the next morning. Her meeting was on Sunday which gives them two whole days in Dubai together, if the circumstances were different she would've been the happiest person on earth, but she was worried about the outcome of this trip. How would she react when she saw Sultan? How did Bandar feel? He was so quiet for the rest of the evening.. she felt like she was blabbering and he was just staring at her, without actually seeing her.
"I have to call mama and tell her.." she thought.
"Alooo hi mama.."
"haa 7abeebty sha5barkum? shlon ildo7a?" said her mum,
"il7imdilla good.. sha5barkum into?"
"b5air yumma.. ha.. mafy shay?"
"maaamaaaaaaaaaa... 3an il7arakat" she laughed, she knew her mother ws dying to tell her that she knew about Bandar, but she was in no mood to play games with her.
"Hehehe mabrook yumma.. inzain ya3ny laish ma tabeena n3arf al7een?"
"ee ya3ny into ma7ad mub 7ilwa 3ala iltelephone!"
"heehhehe la i7na nadry mn zemain ina yabeech bs ma nadry laish ma yetkalam.. 7ata ummah kanat kela tlame7.."
"shit even my mum knew! o ana ilhabla adawer lah 3aroos.." she thought to herself.
"hmm.. inzain mama bokra lazem aro7 Dbai 3endi meeting.."
"Inzain yumma.. ma7ad beyroo7 ma3ach mn ilshe'3el?"
"La bs ana.."
"O Bandar ra'6y?"
"Mama!!! ya3ny al7en 5ala9? lail7en ma 5e6ab rasmy o inty bay3a? seeda Bandar?! Wain baba waina?!!" she laughed
"Hehhe ubooch ma yadry ma gelt lah.. lain reja3na ildo7a y9eer 5air"
"Inshallah mama.."
"Inzain yumma yallah te7amely fe roo7ech.. m3 ilsalama"
She hung up the phone smiling, talking to her mother made her feel better. The way her mum assumed that she was happy with Bandar and that he was the right person for her made her feel more confident in the success of this relationship.. also, to be fair, never in his life did Bandar give her reason to doubt his commitment to her.
Sultan was sitting at home watching tv with his favourite daughter,
"Hind baba 3a6eeny ilremote control,"
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaddy.. aby disney channel.. don't change it" said the cheeky 5 year old.
He pulled her pony tail lovingly,
"Hanooooda, 5aly baba yshoof ilnews.."
"No.. no news for baba.. disney channel for Hanoooda"
He laughed and shook his head,
"Ok, fine.."
"2 more days and I see her.." he thought to himself. Sultan always wondered if Hind got married, the email sent from her boss said Miss.. so she wasn't married.
"7ab o itsala ba3dy.. wala metmasek be3ahdy.." he sang in a low voice.
"Shhhh baba.."
When he first broke up with her, she'd kept calling him constantly and he wouldn't answer. Once he picked up the phone by mistake but didn't talk.. he could hear her crying, begging him to only explain and he still wouldn't answer. She also flooded his email with messages demanding an explaination, at first they were mean messages, then he felt her getting weaker, the messages becoming shorter and more pleading. The last email he got broke his heart, he still had it saved in his inbox.
I was never good with words, you always told me that I talk before I think, that I'm too honest and somtimes inconsiderate. That might be true, but never in my life would I intentionally hurt someone that I once loved.
I always was a tough person, I never ever cried, I was never emotional, I would laugh when people told me that they don't sleep because of someone they loved.. kint agool lihum ma 3endikum salfa.. All the things I laughed at I have now experienced. I exist because of medication, my body is alive but my soul is dead.
I loved you like I loved no one else in my life. You know how much my family and friends mean to me, but I loved you to the extent that the love I had for you alone was double what I have for them collectively. HAD.. past tense.. I feel dead.. I have no feelings anymore.. for anyone.. I can't sleep.. yes I can't sleep.. can you believe that?
I have never asked you for anything, since the day I met you.. but now I am. I just want you to explain to me why you did this.. and I don't mean breaking up with me.. I mean the way you did it.. if you had told me that you don't love me or that it'll never work out I would've been sad for a while.. but I would eventually get over it.. and move on.. but not knowing what happened.. I just can't move on with my life.. I keep blaming myself.. replaying our last conversation.. maybe I did something wrong.. maybe I said something wrong.. but no matter what it was.. I don't deserve this from you..
You've changed me.. and I don't like who I've become.. so I'm begging you.. as a sister.. or as a friend or as whatever you choose to think of me.. to just explain why you did this.. so I can stop blaming myself.. and continue to live my life.. I want my old self back.. I want to be whole again.
2 years after he left her she suddenly stopped.
"Can I really face her.. after all this?" he thought to himself.