Hello, My name is.. (67)

Dear Diary,

S3ood has been calling me nonstop since we reached London yesterday and I have been avoiding his calls. I don’t know how to deal with the new S3ood, it was one thing chatting with him on BBM, but having him here right in front of me is totally different story.

Ahmed called me as soon as I reached the apartment yesterday,
“Ya 7maar ya 7ayawan! I HATE YOU!”
“HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH”
“THAT’S SO NOT FUNNY!! HOW COULD YOU!”
“Hahaha, he called me and said that he wanted to surprise you. 9ara7a he scares me a bit, who am I to say no to him anyway? I’m only the friend.”
“Ha ha. Very funny.”
“Hahhah it is actually, I wanted to come just so I can see your face, but then I thought that if I did you would have an excuse to not ride in the car with him. So honestly, how did you feel when you saw him?”
“After the shock?”
“Hmm..?”
“Well. It’s tough to describe. Confused maybe?”
“Why confused?”
“Madry, he’s being the perfect attentive boyfriend, except he’s not my boyfriend, and he’s certainly not my friend. I mean it’s like he’s conveniently forgetting that we decided to do this for the benefit of Fa6ma and 3abdallah”
“Noor..”
“Yeah?”
“Why do you over analyze things?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean why do you have to define the relationship? Why do you have to label it? He’s paying attention, he’s there for you, you’re having fun so enjoy. Just take things at face value. Don’t stress, you’ll get wrinkles”
“Heheh sa5eef!!”
“You know I’m right”
“I guess, but I don’t know, I’m still not sure”
“Well, give him a break, be friends now if that’s what he wants and see how it goes. Not everything has to be intense you know, just enjoy”
“Hmm.. ok. But I still don’t forgive you for doing what you did! La o ygool ly I’m parking! Idiot!”
“Hahahahahha I told you he scares me!”

This morning I woke up to find another 3 missed calls from S3ood and several PINGS on my phone, I tucked my phone away trying to ignore the urge to call him back, I have to clear my mind before I talked to him. There’s only so much pretending I could do.

I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to reveal a bottle of semi frozen water and a pack of what was once cream cheese. I picked up the cheese and threw it in the bin and walked out of the kitchen to change and go to the supermarket to buy something that will fill my protesting belly. Just as I was stepping into my shoes I heard the doorbell. I looked at my watch, it’s too early for Juju. I peeped through the hole to find S3ood frowning in the corridor. I unlocked the door and he pushed it open quickly,
“Where the hell have you been?”
“Umm.. here?”
“Laish ma tredeen? You had me worried sick!”
“I was sleeping”
“La wallah?”
“E wallah” I giggled
“You find this funny?” he said, grabbing me from both arms and lifting me up so my eyes were levelled with his. Suddenly I understood what Ahmed meant when he said S3ood scared him. I felt the same fear gripping my heart, my smile slowly fading, until he started laughing.
“Hahahahahahaha, 5efty?”
“YES!” I said, hitting him lightly on the shoulder, “PUT ME DOWN!”
“Shbetsaween if I don’t?”
“I’ll bite you!”
“Is that a promise or a threat?”
I felt my brain go blank, it was like I forgot all the vocabulary stored in my head, all the words I ever learnt in my life. What could I ever respond to that?
“Put me down” I whispered,
“Why?”
“I’m hungry”
“Hahaha ok, you want to go out for breakfast?”
“La, 9ara7a bardana o maby a6la3 bs I have nothing in the fridge so I have to go out”
“Afa.. Tamreen amer! Ana aro7 ayeeblech kelshy taben!”
“Really?”
“Kam Noor 3endi?”
“Bas ana?”
“Yes” he whispered, he was still holding me in his arms, I could feel his chest moving with every breath, I would probably feel his heartbeats if I just moved my hand slightly to the left.
“Can you put me down now?”
“Oh. Yes sorry” he said slowly putting me down on the ground, “I’ll go get breakfast and come back”
“Ok. Thank you”

He went down to get us some breakfast and is probably on his way back now, so I better get going, will update soon..

Until next time..