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Hello, My name is.. (32)

Dear Diary,
Two hours later S3ood came to pick us up, and 20 minutes after that we were entering through the hospital doors, I could see my sister shaking as she held on to S3ood's arm tightly,
"3abdallah is not here.. 3alya sent him to buy her things, she wants to talk to you without him."
"Does he.."
"No he doesn't know you're here. He doesn't know she knows about you either."
My sister put her head down and we quickly headed towards 3alya's room.
We reached the room and S3ood knocked the door and opened it slowly, he walked in, pulling Fa6ma from her hand as I shuffled my feet slowly behind them.
"9ba7 il5air ya 7ilwa.."
"9ba7 ilnoor ya a7la brother in law. Hi, Fa6ma 9a7?" my sister nodded and pulled me closer to her. I couldn't see 3alya from where I was standing earlier as S3ood was blocking the way, but now when I saw her she broke my heart. You could tell she was young but her skin was dry and wrinkly, and the hair or what was remaining of it, peeking from under her head scarf was wispy and brittle. But she had the most beautiful black eyes I had ever seen, mashallah.
"S3ood 7abeeby leave us alone." he nodded and walked towards the door looking at me, just as I was about to follow him Fa6ma gripped my hand tighter and he whispered "stay.." he quietly closed the door behind him and we both had no choice but to keep staring at the frail body lying in bed.
"Inty akeed Noor, 9a7?"
"Gal ly S3ood ina you're cute, teshbeheen Fa6ma, but you look more like the pictures that I've seen of her, ya3ny lail7en baby 3ala golat S3ood" she was smiling and I couldn't help but smile back, but I noticed that my sister was still tense and we were both still standing.
"Sit down laish lail7en wagfeen?" she had a quiet, sweet voice, everything she said sounded like a whisper, I didn't know whether that was on account of her being tired or because she normally is like that. I smiled back at her beaming face and pulled Fa6ma towards the seats next to her bed.
"Yes" my sister whispered back,
"Do you know why I asked to see you?" Fa6ma shook her head in denial,
"Fa6ma, you know why I'm in the hospital right?" and she nodded, tears now streaming down her face, "and you know what the doctors said?"
"Bas you never know.. I was reading.."
"I've done enough reading.. I'm tired anyway.. I can no longer take it.."
"Kelshy byad Allah"
"Welne3em b'Allah. 3abdallah.." and she stopped, took a deep breath and continued, "I'm not an angel. I've known about you for a long time, at the begining I hated you. Well.. let me start from t ]he beginning, I've been in love with 3abdallah for as long as I remember, I don't know if you know this but he's my second cousin, I used to see him when we were kids every 3eed in my grand father's house. All the girls were in love with S3ood, maybe because he was in love with Meera and was unavailable, but to me it was 3abdallah, he's the love of my life." my sister was sitting with her face down, nervously tugging at my sweater, I put my hand on hers trying to calm her down,
"When he came back from the states I heard that he was in love with someone and that he will get married soon, mera'6t, seriously.." she laughed, a sweet sad laugh "but then all of a sudden galaw hawwan, o 5e6abny, I thought all my prayers are being answered and that finally we'll be happy together. Except he wasn't happy. He was the perfect gentleman, everything I wanted he did, he paid attention to every small detail, he made me feel like a princess, but I could tell he was not happy. Sometimes, we would be sitting watching TV, and he would be lost in thought, I'd look at him and see him smiling, like he was imagining something or someone, which is when I started relating it to the rumors about his engagement before.."
"I'm so sorry.." said Fa6ma,
"No, it's ok, as I said I'm no angel, in the beginning I hated you, I was so jealous of you, I just wanted to know who you were.. who could this person be, illy ma5thah 3agla chethy. So I asked my mother in law.. she didn't deny the rumors, she said she didn't know you but she knew of you. She didn't know what happened, all she knew was that 3abdallah came to her one day and told her he changed his mind, he did not want to discuss it he just wanted her to find him a bride as soon as possible, and that was where I came in. Of course that didn't satisfy me, so I asked S3ood, he denied everything and said that I was listening to rumors and gossip o gal ly akaber 3agly, which is what he kept on saying until a few months ago, when I was told that my illness is terminal. I asked him about you again and I told him that he couldn't deny a dying woman her final wishes, which I'm told is what he used on you to make you come here" she said smiling,
"3alya please stop saying that.." Fa6ma begged her,
"Why? It's ok I got used to it.. ana mo2mena.."
"But you're so young.." I whispered, I was still shocked, trying to take in the whole situation and failing miserabley..
"Ma7ad yroo7 gabel youma.." she replied shaking her head, "Fa6ma.. I don't know inty shino wa'63ech al7en.. S3ood told me you're not married?"
"Fa6ma.. I'm going soon.. and 3abdallah.."
"3alya please.."
"I'm not asking for much.. I don't want to force you to restart a relationship that ended years ago, this might not be what you want after all. All I'm asking is that you take care of him after I leave.. he needs you," as she said this her eyes started filling up with tears, "please tell me you'll stay with him"
"Please.. at least try"
"What makes you think he wants me to be there? 3alya he hates me.." she sobbed,
"No he doesn't, you still love him don't you? It's ok you can tell me.. I love him too, I want him to be happy, I want you to give him what I couldn't"
"I can't do this.. I really can't.."
"Fa6ma please.. I know I'm asking for a lot, but.. please.. at least think about it"
My sister nodded as she stood up, kissed 3alya on her cheek and then walked out of the door. As soon as the door was closed she collapsed on the floor crying, I tried to pick her up but I couldn't, it was like her body was so heavy and lifeless, her legs could no longer carry her. I heard footsteps coming towards us so I looked up and saw S3ood,
"S3ood please help me carry Fa6oom, awal ma 6ela3na she fell on the floor o magdar asheelha!"
S3ood stood a couple of feet away from us, just staring at Fa6ma and only when he started speaking did it click in my brain that he was wearing different clothes, he was thinner and had a tired face.
This was not S3ood.
"What the HELL are you doing here?"
Fa6ma stopped sobbing, looked up, saw his face, and grabbed my hand tightly,
"Noor.." she whispered,
"It's ok Fa6oom goomy we'll leave, goomy 7abeebty"
"I said what are you doing here? Who brought you here? What are you thinking coming to my wife's room?" he yelled again, she flinched in her place, as if he had just slapped her,
"I am talking to you?! Can't you hear me? Get out of here.. GET OUT!" which was her cue to collapse again and start crying after I had managed to get her half way up on her feet,
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I screamed at him, "She's here for YOUR wife, because she asked her to be here!" I pulled Fa6ma up on her feet quickly and dragged her out of there.
I looked back at him and he was still standing in the same place, his shoulders hunched, staring at the same place that Fa6ma was occupying a few minutes ago.
We reached home a short while later, and my sister has been crying since.
What can I do to make her feel better? Ya Allah, what is going on?
Until next time..