Dear Diary,
My first day was not as bad as I expected. I arrived 10 minutes early, which was good since I still don't know my way around the campus, although it's pretty small since it's a city campus, the university has a few campuses spread across the area, each school being in a different building, so business school was in our building, while science was in another.. so one and so forth.. well you get the idea. Anyway, I entered the lecture hall and there were only 2 other people there before me, making out in the back seats, a7san I thought to myself, no need for awkward introductions or pretending that I really care about getting to know them. I'm the type of person that when I meet someone for the first time I can tell whether this person will become my friend or not. Most of the times they wouldn't. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti social or anything, it's just that I find myself very uncomfrortable with people I don't know, especially girls. They can be so judgemental right?
Anyway, so people started drifting in slowly, no one sat next to me as I was sitting on the front seat right infront of the lecturer. People find this weird about me, but I actually love the process of learning. I know everyone agrees that education is important and everything, but to me learning is more than education. I like to know things, they don't have to be related to what I'm studying or even within the things that interest me, I know the most random things, my friends find that annoying, but I love it. So, I sat in the front row and as soon as my lecture ended I talked to Juju.. she already met new friends and was at starbucks having coffee with them. I love how social she is, I think it makes my life so much easier being with her. Sometimes I feel that the only reason I have friends is because I was introduced to them through her. I love my friends dearly, and miss everyone of them, I wish they were all here, but I was looking forward to making new ones with Juju. So I rushed out of class before I get stuck between the throngs of people leaving the lecture hall, heading towards starbucks to meet Juju and the new friends.
That was when I saw him.
Mashallah. He was just standing in the campus courtyard, frowning at a piece of paper, he looked like an old Roman sculpture. The broad chest, long straight nose, deep set eyes, and slightly wavy hair combed back. I stood there for what seemed like an eternity. Just staring. I felt myself being nudged and shoved by people leaving the building, and yet I couldn't move. There I was standing rooted in my place, with my jaw dropped open (I think) just staring at his beauty, wishing I could move up to him and just smooth the frown off his face and kiss him until he smiles.
And then he looked at me. Those eyes. Oh my God. I felt them piercing through my soul, going to places no one has ever been to before. Our eyes met, he held my gaze for a few seconds that seemed much longer to me. I can never look at someone in the eye, my friends used to laugh about that, but with him, it was something else, I was mesmerised. And he smiled, oh my god the smile, it felt like the world was dark and then the sun was suddenly shining bright, the birds were singing, a cool breeze moving my hair. I shook my self back to reality and stumbeled accross the courtyard leaving the school campus, looking down at my feet.
Shit. I've never felt like that before. What the hell was that?
I ran to starbucks and found Juju with a group of beautiful girls. Mashallah, isn't it weird that priviliged girls are always gorgeous? I'm not trying to be stuck up or anything, but I come from a wealthy background and so does Juju, true our parents worked very hard for it, so there's no shame in admitting it, I don't think I'm gorgeous, I mean I've been told I'm pretty, it's just that I feel I lack that je ne sais quoi as they say, I feel that I'm not attractive enough to be classified as gorgeous.. Oh well. The girls were all from the same background, judging by their clothes and hairstyles and also that they were all attending the most prestigious fashion school in London. So anyway, after the usual introductions we sat down for a few hours discussing shopping, fashion, trends, places we like to go to in London. The girls were all very nice, two of them from Bahrain and one from Kuwait, I enjoyed the time spent with them but I was not with them 100%, my subconsious was still in that courtyard. Maybe I was imagining him, no one could be that gorgeous.
So I excused myself later, the girls went shopping but I had to go to the gym. People tell me I have a great body, but I don't really see that. Plus I don't go to the gym to lose weight or to get a better body. I genuinly enjoy it. My trainer in Doha used to tell me that I sometimes punish myself with my strict routine, but I love it. I love seeing my muscles flex when I move my free weights, I love the blood rushing around my body after an invigorating run on the treadmill. It gives me a buzz. Don't get me wrong I'm not bulky or anything, and I'm not planning on geting bulky, I just love the gym, it gives me a sense of power, like this is one part of me that I can control. So after 2 hours at the gym I was walking out of the main door, I have decided that I don't want to shower in the gym, seeing all those naked women walking around the changing room put me off.. for God's sake wrap a towel around yourself! The gym I go to was in the same building I lived in so I figured it's ok if I just shower at home, it's only a lift ride. So I was walking out of the gym, all sweaty and red, my hair all over the place, my ipod in my ears humming along with Rashid when I bumped into him. Shit. I literaly walked into HIM. Are you BLIND? I internally yelled at myself. Shit shit shit, I stink, I look like hell, I'm disgusting and sweaty and he's all fresh and clean and in shorts. Oh my GOD. He held my shoulders, steadying me so I don't fall over, and he said something, I'm sure it was along the lines of are you ok? but Rashid was still blaring in my ears so I couldn't make out what he was saying. Judging from his lip movement I think it was are you ok? Am I ok? Really? No I'm not ok.. I'm obsessed with someone I saw for less than 5 minutes in my life.. shit I'm a complete idiot. I mumbled I'm sorry under my breath and rushed to the lifts taking me to the flat, I can't believe I saw him again.. So I wasn't imagning him in uni.. he does exist.. and he is as gorgeous as I thought, if not even more.
Ohh.. what the hell is happening to me? I need to discuss this with Juju.
Will keep you updated.
Untill next time..
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