Hello, My name is.. (1)

Dear Diary,

Hello.. My name is Noor. In Arabic that means light, a friend once told me that my name suits me because I have a luminous smile. I don't see that.

I think I should introduce myself first. I'm 18 years old and today I start university in London, I decided to start a diary because of that.. well actually I've always wanted to keep a diary but never really knew what to say, but moving to London gave me a subject to talk about, also I think that I want to remember every part of this experience, so that in 20 years time, when I reminisce with my friends, I have somthing to refer back to (Yes I'm that neurotic). So let's start with my physical appearance, I think I look pretty average, medium tone skin, straight dark hair, unremarkable features.. in short I think I blend in with people easily, not someone you would notice when you walk into the room, unlike my friend Jawaher. She is a jewel mashallah. I wouldn't have moved to London if it wasn't for her, I don't think I would've had the guts to take such a huge leap.. leave the security of my sheltered life in Doha and move God knows how many thousand miles away.

London.. I've always loved this city, but not for the reasons arabs did. Although I love shopping just as much as the next girl, it's not why I love London. I love the smell of the streets, I love the rain hitting my face, I love the street vendors selling roasted chestnuts in the winter, I love lying on the green grass in the summer.

I think I'm drifting from the subject here. Well.. as I said Jawaher and I just moved to London from Doha, I'll be studying Management and Finance while she'll be studying Fashion design. I actually wanted to study art, but my father was against it.. what would you do with an Art degree he said.. well.. I agree.. plus I don't think my paintings have the depth that an artist should have although I did get an A in my Art Alevels, but for some reason I'm not entirely convinced the examiner gave me the right mark. Anyway.. I love watercolours, I love manipulating the paint, how three colours can blend in and turn into all the colours in the spectrum, how through my paintbrush I can express feelings that I am too afraid to admit I have, even to myself. My art teacher always told me that I hold myself back, although I don't feel it.. she said my work feels restricted, muffled.. as if suffocated. Maybe it's because that's how I feel.

And so I decided to be my practical self again, bow my head to my father's will and study management and finance only to graduate and bow my head again as I enter my family's business.

Today will be our first day of uni, well technically, but last week was orientation. Jawaher and I couldn't attend the same university, because our courses were so different, but atleast we live in the same appartment building, thank God.. I wouldn't be able to survive here if it wasn't for her. Orientation was intimidating. I felt so out of my element. I've been in the same school for the past 12 years, with the same group, with them I could be myself, no need to pretend, no need for introductions.. we knew each other inside out. I wish we never had to leave school. We've all been broken up now, only Jawaher and I have decided to come to London, most of the group either stayed in Doha or went to the States. Juju wanted to go to America bs I wouldn't let her.. London was as far as I'd go thank you very much. Plus I think London is so much classier, don't you think?

I think I've been babbling for too long.. this should suffice as an introduction...

For the next three years you will be my friend, we'll share laughter, tears, fears and secrets, I hope you can keep a secret..

well I better get to class..

Untill next time..