Mirror.. (4)

It’s been two days since Talal was here, I haven’t heard from him since he left Doha. Actually, I didn’t hear from him pretty much since our date, I called him the next day constantly and he never returned my calls, he only sent me a text message in the evening telling me that he was driving back home. His loss really.

I sit in front of the mirror, brushing my hair, 100 strokes every night, and I watch the light as it bounces of my shiny waves, I smile for the mirror and the beautiful reflection smiles back at me. I stick out my tongue at that beautiful girl, wishing she wasn’t me and I giggle at my own silliness.

Just as I finished my bedtime routine my phone rings, just like clockwork, Saif calling.
“7abeeby” I whispered,
“aaaaaaaaaaaah ya galby”
“Hehe salamat galbek Sawaf”
“Inty galby”

I love talking to Saif, I really do, but I feel guilty, I feel that I don’t deserve his love, and that if he knew the real me, I would disgust him.

“Ana ma astahlek Saif”
“Don’t say that, inty mub fahma gadrech”
“Why do you love me?”
“That’s not a question I can answer 7ala”
“Why not? It’s a simple question, ya3ny if you ask me why I love you I would tell you why”
“So you love me?”
“Hehe 6ab3an I do”
“Why?”
“Because you’re kind, generous, intelligent without being arrogant, you make me laugh, you listen to me, indulge me hmm.. and many other things ba3ad bs ma bagool lek 3ashan ma tchof roo7ek 3alay”
“La wallah?”
“Eee.. so tell me, why do you love me?”
“Because you’re you” he answered.
“La 3ad yallah Saif, I answered your question!”
“No you didn’t, you just listed my good characteristics, things that many people have, so you didn’t really answer the question”
“Hm.. ok I guess you’re making sense, ok so let me rephrase the question. What do you love about me? Ya3ny you’ve never seen me, you’ve only seen a picture”
“You know looks don’t matter to me, although you’re gorgeous, but I would love you even if you weighed 200kg”
“Hahaha I believe you 9ara7a, because you have no guarantee that that picture is me and yet you still talk to me”
“Because I love you”
“So tell me..”
“Hmm..?”
“What do you love?”
“Hmm.. I love your voice when you wake up in the morning, because I know that I’m the first person you talk to. I love that my voice is the last thing you hear before you sleep, no matter what time it is, or where we are in the world. I love that when you’re scared you call me. I love that when you’re sad you know that I’m the only one who can comfort you, I love that when you’re happy you always share your happiness with me. I love that I’m in every moment of your day... Kfaya wela agool ba3ad?”

I took in a deep breath, and felt my heart swelling with love. I really do love him, I do. That moment, I vowed to myself that I’ll only be with him, I have to change, to become worthy of this beautiful person. I wiped a tear that escaped through my lashes and sighed again.

“Shfeech 7abeeby?”
“Wala shay, I was listening to you.”
“And?”
“I love you Saif”
“7ala can I ask you for something? And feel free to say no, I don’t want to put pressure on you or anything, so if you say no I will completely understand o ma baz3al”
“Hehe just ask, laish kel halmoqademat? Fe mo9eeba?”
“Hehe la a3ootho bellah” he laughed nervously, took a deep breath and continued, “I really want to see you, I know wayed 9a3bah and that I’m asking for much but..”
“Ok” I whispered,
“Ok?”
“Yes, but not in Doha,”
“You’ll come to Dubai?”
“Umm no I’m going to Bahrain next weekend, for my friend’s wedding, I told you 9a7?”
“Yeah”
“You’ll come with me?”
“I would love to 7abeeby”

I hung up the phone promising myself that this will be a new start. No more Talal, no more playing around. I will be his and his only. I laid my head on my pillow and smiled content, that I’m finally becoming a better person.

 Let’s hope I can keep it up.