Letting go..

Hi, I'm a bit rusty, haven't written anything in a while, please let me know what you think. Also, I'll be putting up the remaining old posts, please keep checking in :)

M.

****

They say that if you want to know if something is yours, let go of it, if it comes back to you then it was always yours.

I don't know if you are mine my friend.

I have so many questions for you, questions that echo in my head every time I see you. Every time my hand accidentally touches yours, do you feel the same tingling? Do you smile like me when your phone rings with a message from me? Is your day better when it starts with my voice? Do you sleep better when I send you a kiss good night?

I try to articulate these thoughts, but the words fail to leave my lips. The words choke me before they reach my tongue; so I think, maybe, just maybe I should test that theory, because really, if you were never mine then I have nothing to lose, right?

I'm trying to let go of you my friend, but even the thought scares me. What if I let go and you let go too? Then what?

If I stop, and you stop, will we cease to exist? Does we even exist? Or is it all in my head?

If I stop, and you stop, how will my days be without your good mornings? How will I sleep without your kiss good night? How will I laugh without your jokes? How will my heart beat without your love?

Forgive me my friend, I will hold on to you a bit longer, even if I know, you're not really mine.