Dear Diary,
I was so happy to see S3ood that I forgot that he stayed away for two months, I knew nothing about him for two months! As soon as the girls left I asked Fa6ma about why S3ood stayed away,
"Well, he didn't stay away, ya3ny kan ykalemny every once in a while" said Fa6ma,
"Oh.." my smile faded when I heard that, it meant that I was not significant to him, therefore there was no need for him to talk to me.
"Noor.. S3ood is not a teenager"
"I know, ana gilt he's a teenager?"
"No what I meant is that emotionally you're not on the same level as he is"
"Yeah I know I'm a baby" I said sarcastically and got up to leave the room. I didn't know why I was reacting this way, but I felt bitter, I felt used.
My sister followed me into my bedroom,
"Nooro.. chethy you're proving that you're a baby!"
"La wallah? What did I do?"
"Ga3da tna7seen!"
"Ma na7ast! I was wondering laish ma kalamny.. o 6ela3 ina kan ykalmech o ma gelteely! That's all!"
"Kan ykalemny because I'm his friend.. and.."
"Ok you're his friend, and what am I?"
"You're my sister!"
"Oh, so to him I'm only your sister?" I whispered, of course, what else would I be? I'm the baby.
"Nooro lat9ereen yahel.. shtabeen ya3ny? Do you have feelings for him?"
"I don't know.."
"Yes you do.. 6al3eeny" she said grabbing my face, "Do you?"
I looked down, I couldn't look at her, I just couldn't..
She let go of my face and started giggling,
"ya7lailna wallah the sister, falling in love with the twins o ithnainhum mub m3abreena"
"Hehehe ya 7mara! It's so not funny!"
"Hehehe I know but if I didn't laugh I'll cry" and the two of us started laughing until tears rolled down our faces.
After our hysterical laughing fit we both lay down on my bed staring at the ceiling,
"Now what?" I asked,
"Madry, 3abdallah ma ykalemny, since the day they left London I haven't heard from him. I think he still hates me but seeing him.. it just renewed all my feelings for him, I actually think that I love him now more than I ever did before, if that's even possible. I love him to the extent ily I'm content with him not being in my life if that's what would make him happy."
"Fa6oom I think he still loves you bs he's hurt"
"La.. he's a different person now, he's not the sweet 3abdallah that he was before.. what's ironic is that I made him that, I turned him into the person that hates me so much.."
"Fa6oom don't say that, I'm sure he doesn't hate you"
"Well if he doesn't hate me then he's indifferent, which to be honest is worse"
"Hmm.. well, he's coming here for his masters, maybe something will happen then"
"I doubt it"
"Fa6oooooom.."
"Noooroooooooo, or should I call you Noora? hahahah I heard you like to be called Noora by a certain someone!"
"Hahahah ya 7mara!! That's so over.. bas 9ara7a, I kinda didn't end it, I just left it hanging and hoped that he would get the picture, which is a bit low.."
"Very.."
"Who told you.. akeed Juju!!"
"No.. S3ood did.."
"What?" and I remembered how I met him with Ahmed, shit.
"Yeah gal ly ina hathak kan ysameech Noora ya za3am ydal3ech"
"Hmm... why would he tell you?"
"Madry, he said ina he felt bad ina they were taking up all your time o chethy.."
"Yeah gal ly and I explained ina mafy shay between us, when was that? when did he tell you?"
"Gabel wafat 3alya ib a couple of weeks I think" she said frowning as she tried to remember,
"'3areeba, he asked me the same thing awal ma yaina in December.. did he think I was lying?"
"Hmm.. madry.. yemken fakerach tjamleena.. OR," she said jumping up on the bed, "OR yemkin y'3ar!!!"
"Well, he didn't stay away, ya3ny kan ykalemny every once in a while" said Fa6ma,
"Oh.." my smile faded when I heard that, it meant that I was not significant to him, therefore there was no need for him to talk to me.
"Noor.. S3ood is not a teenager"
"I know, ana gilt he's a teenager?"
"No what I meant is that emotionally you're not on the same level as he is"
"Yeah I know I'm a baby" I said sarcastically and got up to leave the room. I didn't know why I was reacting this way, but I felt bitter, I felt used.
My sister followed me into my bedroom,
"Nooro.. chethy you're proving that you're a baby!"
"La wallah? What did I do?"
"Ga3da tna7seen!"
"Ma na7ast! I was wondering laish ma kalamny.. o 6ela3 ina kan ykalmech o ma gelteely! That's all!"
"Kan ykalemny because I'm his friend.. and.."
"Ok you're his friend, and what am I?"
"You're my sister!"
"Oh, so to him I'm only your sister?" I whispered, of course, what else would I be? I'm the baby.
"Nooro lat9ereen yahel.. shtabeen ya3ny? Do you have feelings for him?"
"I don't know.."
"Yes you do.. 6al3eeny" she said grabbing my face, "Do you?"
I looked down, I couldn't look at her, I just couldn't..
She let go of my face and started giggling,
"ya7lailna wallah the sister, falling in love with the twins o ithnainhum mub m3abreena"
"Hehehe ya 7mara! It's so not funny!"
"Hehehe I know but if I didn't laugh I'll cry" and the two of us started laughing until tears rolled down our faces.
After our hysterical laughing fit we both lay down on my bed staring at the ceiling,
"Now what?" I asked,
"Madry, 3abdallah ma ykalemny, since the day they left London I haven't heard from him. I think he still hates me but seeing him.. it just renewed all my feelings for him, I actually think that I love him now more than I ever did before, if that's even possible. I love him to the extent ily I'm content with him not being in my life if that's what would make him happy."
"Fa6oom I think he still loves you bs he's hurt"
"La.. he's a different person now, he's not the sweet 3abdallah that he was before.. what's ironic is that I made him that, I turned him into the person that hates me so much.."
"Fa6oom don't say that, I'm sure he doesn't hate you"
"Well if he doesn't hate me then he's indifferent, which to be honest is worse"
"Hmm.. well, he's coming here for his masters, maybe something will happen then"
"I doubt it"
"Fa6oooooom.."
"Noooroooooooo, or should I call you Noora? hahahah I heard you like to be called Noora by a certain someone!"
"Hahahah ya 7mara!! That's so over.. bas 9ara7a, I kinda didn't end it, I just left it hanging and hoped that he would get the picture, which is a bit low.."
"Very.."
"Who told you.. akeed Juju!!"
"No.. S3ood did.."
"What?" and I remembered how I met him with Ahmed, shit.
"Yeah gal ly ina hathak kan ysameech Noora ya za3am ydal3ech"
"Hmm... why would he tell you?"
"Madry, he said ina he felt bad ina they were taking up all your time o chethy.."
"Yeah gal ly and I explained ina mafy shay between us, when was that? when did he tell you?"
"Gabel wafat 3alya ib a couple of weeks I think" she said frowning as she tried to remember,
"'3areeba, he asked me the same thing awal ma yaina in December.. did he think I was lying?"
"Hmm.. madry.. yemken fakerach tjamleena.. OR," she said jumping up on the bed, "OR yemkin y'3ar!!!"
Y'3ar?
Would that be possible?
Until next time..
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