Hello, My name is.. (End)

Dear Diary,

I miss S3ood so much, for the past few months he was around me all the time, from the moment I woke up until I fell asleep, sometimes he even tucked me in bed when I fall asleep in the living room. Is this how love feels?

If it is, then this is perfection.

This is how I want to feel for the rest of my life.

We’ve been in Doha for 3 weeks; 3 weeks without S3ood, but things were hectic preparing for the wedding; the most beautiful wedding ever.

I promised Fa6ma I won’t cry but since last night I’ve been crying non-stop. It’s weird how events like this bring the family together. We were both huddled up in Fa6ma’s bed last night, just talking and enjoying our last night together under the same roof, it felt weird that the next day she will be leaving this house forever, she will no longer be two doors down the corridor, I won’t be able to just walk over to her room, I can’t borrow her clothes or steal her make up anymore; she will still be my sister, but she will also be someone’s wife.

My mother knocked on the door and walked in carrying a huge load of photo albums in her hands, I never thought of my mum as the sentimental type, but I guess every mother is different, and in their own way mothers will always love their children, no matter what.

“Fa6ooma”
“Na3am yumma” I could see the tears shining in both their eyes, everything that was to be said at this moment was obvious, there was no reason for the words to be spoken, our eyes said it all. The love, the apologies and the forgiveness for all past mistakes were there. All she needed to do was to reach out for her two daughters; all that was needed was that hug. I don’t know how long we were in my mother’s arms, but for the first time in my life I felt safe. I felt that everything is going to be ok, no, I knew that everything is ok.

“My two daughters have grown up” sighed my mother as she looked at the two of us, leaning on her like two baby girls,
“What do you mean mama? I’m still your baby, I’m not going anywhere” I said smiling at her,
“Testahbelain 3alay Nooro?” she smiled,
“Laish mama? Wallah I’m not going anywhere, bs baro7 iljam3a” I pouted, “you can come with me” for the first time I actually meant it, I want to be with her, I want to know her, this mysterious woman who is my mother,
“Noor,” she said hugging me, “5altech Mariam kalematny, tabeech 7ag S3ood”
I was stunned, I didn’t see that coming, at all. Fa6oom was giggling, she knew about this all along!
“Ok so I take this as a yes, anyway I knew that you’ll say yes, so I already told her everything is ok, after Fa6ma’s wedding we’ll announce your engagement” she said hugging me tighter, her tears shining in her eyes.

This was unbelievable.

After two hours of going through our old albums, and laughing at how we looked at different stages of our lives all three of us decided to call it a night. As soon as I was in my room I dialled S3ood’s number, listening to the familiar short tone beeping in my ear; no answer. He was in Doha for the wedding, I’ll see him tomorrow but I want to know what’s going on.

A sudden fear gripped my heart; what if he changed his mind? What if he never knew about this engagement plan from the beginning? Maybe this is 5alty Mariam’s plan. Hugging my phone close to my heart I drifted off into a troubled sleep. I woke up to absolutely no messages from S3ood, for the first time in seven months there was no good morning message. I pulled myself up from bed, and shuffled my feet to the bathroom, looking at my tired face in the mirror.

Today is a happy day.

Today is Fa6ma’s day.

I put my fingers on both sides of my mouth and forced it into a smile, which then turned into a giggle. No one will ruin this day for me, no matter who it was. I’ll deal with S3ood later.
I ran out of the room to find the maids and my mother fussing over the dresses, the shoes, the luggage and the load of stuff that is to be hauled to the hotel, in preparation to the big party.
“Yallah mama, i5tech gamat?”
“Madry mama,”
“Yallah 7abeebty, the hair and make up people are going to be in the hotel in an hour”
Two hours later we were all set up in a suite, getting ready for the party.
“Noor ana 5ayfa” whispered Fa6ma as the Lebanese ladies fawned over her,
“You don’t need to be, 3abdallah is perfect”
“So is S3ood” she giggled, I felt like my heart was being squeezed, but I managed what I hope looked like a big smile,
“Yes he is.”
“Noor mama fe 7ad bara yabeech” called my mother,
“Ok I’m coming, must be the flower guy” I walked out of the room into the suite’s living room, to find him sitting there, in his thobe and ghetra looking as handsome as ever. As soon as I walked in he stood up, and I don’t know how a second later I was in his arms, sobbing.
“Shhh.. hey hey, lo adry bet9e7een ma yait”
“I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore”
“Why would you think that?”
“I called you o ma radait, and then I woke up and there was no good morning message”
“T3arfeen inich daloo3a wayed?”
“Kelesh la” I said wiping my tears,
“Yes you are. I was asleep, and then I woke up saw your call and thought I’d come see you a7san, wela would you like me to leave and call you?”
“La la 5ala9”
“Plus, I have something to give you”
“What?”
“Awal shay fe maw’6oo3, hmm.. ya3ny I don’t know itha they told you wela la” he mumbled under his breath, and I think, just think that I saw a hint of blush in his cheeks, “ummm ya3ny ilwalda kalemat umech and..”
“Heheh yes”
“Yes?”
“Yes” I said, now my turn to blush,
“I love you”
“Hmm..”
“You’re mine”
“La wallah?”
“Yes,” he said, pulling out a small box from his pocket, “this, is so that no mother today will even consider looking at you, because you’re already taken, you’re mine, you’ll always be mine” he whispered taking out the princess cut diamond ring and slipping it on my finger.

I was speechless.

Five minutes later, when it had sunk in I looked up at him,
“I thought you wanted to be friends?” I smiled,
“I thought so too, when you said yes, I realized that I was stupid, I had the most beautiful girl I knew, she loved me and I loved her, she would do anything for me, even consider my stupid idea of being friends, what was I doing throwing that away? That was when I knew that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life. That’s when I knew that you were the perfect one for me.”
That night, the word perfect resonated with me on so many levels. The perfect wedding, the perfect bride, was my sister. She looked absolutely stunning as 3abdalla walked towards her, held her hand and kissed her head.

Behind him was my perfection.

Smiling, only for me, his eyes only on me, his ring on my finger.

If this is what perfection is, then I have perfection.

This is my story; this is the rest of my life.

I said that you will be my friend for my time as a student, and a good friend you were, but, dear Diary, in S3ood, I found my lover, my friend and my life.

So dear Diary,

I bid you farewell..