Hello, My name is.. (47)

Dear Diary,

It's been a couple of weeks since Fa6ma and 3abdallah got back together, at the beginning I could see she was still reluctant, but the more time he spent with her the more confident she became and the happier she looked.

I'm trying to spend as little time with them as possible, ya3ny they need their time alone I think, but to be honest, I'm getting bored. I hate being the third wheel. Also, I haven't been seeing S3ood much lately, and I miss him. Having all this free time on my hands meant that I had more time to think of him and me, together. Honestly so far I don't see it happening, he's been nice to me, very nice actually, but he's been treating me like any guy would treat his little sister, and I don't blame him, there's an 8 year gap in age between us, so I understand why he wouldn't be interested, and yet I cannot stop myself from hoping.. from yearning for him.. to hold me.. to touch me.. to kiss me.. ok ok.. I'm dreaming too much, but then again what else do I have but dreams?

This morning 3abdallah came over to our place for breakfast, as usual. Ok ok maybe I sound mean, I'm happy for my sister but do they have to rub it in my single lonely face so much? Well, anyway he was here for breakfast and Fa6ma had prepared the waffles that he loved so much, I sat having breakfast with them and thinking of myself. I was so lonely I actually considered calling Ahmed. I don't miss him, at all, but I miss the feeling I had when I was with him, I felt special, I felt cared for and I felt loved. Now all I feel is emptiness, for a long time I was sad, first with 3alya and then with Fa6oom and her problems with 3abdallah, but now I have space to breathe and all I feel is loneliness. Maybe if my friends were here I wouldn't feel this way, but being alone with a couple in love is devastating if you're single.

Asta'3fer Allah, I'm happy for my sister, I don't want to jinx it!

S3ood came to the flat as we were having breakfast, he walked in and sat next to me,
"Goodmorning Noor!" he yelled in my ear, I jumped up from my seat startled, as I didn't hear him coming in,
"Yumma besmellah 5ara3tny!" I said hitting him on his arm lightly and laughing,
"Illy ma5eth 3aglech.." he said laughing as he put some food on his plate, what would he think if he knew ina ily ma5eth 3agly uhwa?
I smiled and continued eating quietly,
"What are you doing today?" he said looking at me,
"Ana?"
"Ee inty 3ayal meen?"
"Hmm madry.. nothing ma 3endi plans.."
"Ok 3ayal let's go out shway.. hay ilthnain 9ayer damhum thegeel.. choofy 7ata I walked in o they didn't even try to talk to me!"
"3ashan inta damek thegeel" giggled Fa6ma
"Yes we don't associate m3 ashkalek" said 3abdallah,
"La7oool.. shefty Noor, yallah yallah goomy we're leaving them!"
We joked around for another half an hour and then he told me he'll be meeting me down stairs in half an hour.

What do I wear? A9lan where are we going? Should I wear jeans? Or a dress? What if I wear a dress and he ends up taking me somewhere lame like a theme park? Ysaweeha since he thinks I'm such a baby!

Uff I'm confused.. I better get changed quickly and head downstairs before he changes his mind!

Until next time..