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Hello, My name is.. (9)

Dear Diary,
Yesterday after I left Ahmed I went back home contemplating how I was feeling. He didn't give me any sign that he likes me, yet I cannot help but fall in love with him. It's no longer a crush, I am in love with him. The sound of his voice makes me smile, I blush when he looks at me, I giggle like a silly girl at the lamest jokes he makes, and I DIE of jealousy when I see Dana with him.
I woke up today with a decision that I took while I was sleeping, yes I know that's weird but I am weird like that, I always go to bed confused and wake up having resolved my problems. He will be mine. I'll be his friend for now, if this is what he wants, I'm sure that if he gets to know me well enough he will know how right we are for eachother. He said he likes how real I am, so he wants real, I'll give him real.
I went to uni armed with my new resolve, I let my hair down this time, I always hold it back for uni, come to think of it, he's never seen my hair down since I always see him after class. It was getting colder so I snuggled into my coat and wrapped my chunky golden scarf around my neck, put on my golden hoops and pulled on my knee high boots over my jeans. As soon as I walked into the coutryard I saw him smoking outside, with Dana. Uff.. as usual, she was her 'extremely beautiful' self, she was standing next to him, facing him and with one hand playing with her perfect curls and the other on his shoulder, as if she was trying to get his attention, while he was just staring straight ahead, not even looking at her. Testahel. I walked confidently across the courtyard, I just smiled at him and was not planning to stop and chat when he called my name,
I turned around and heard Dana mumble,
"Her name is Noor." she had an ugly scowl on her face, not so beautiful now are we? hehe. He just turned, gave her a look and turned back at me smiling. I walked closer to them,
"Hi A7med, shlonik?"
"Good good, you're looking good today.. umm not that you don't all the time bs you look different I mean.." is he flustered? I'm liking this.
"Heheh really? I just let my hair down, nothing different" I could see Dana from the corner of my eye, pouting and typing something into her blackberry. "Hi Dana"
She plastered a huge fake smile on her face and rushed to me,
"Hiiiii 7abeeebty, wayed istanast ma3akum the other night, please let's go out again, your friends are so cute! Yallah I gotta run now, bye a7med" she said as she leaned in on him and kissed him on the cheek.. yes she kissed him!!! I stared at her as she tottered away on her high heels.. what's wrong with this girl! Uff..
"Umm so do you want to do something after class?" he said looking at me with those beautiful eyes.
"Yeah, let me call the girls and see.. I want to introduce you to them" I said smiling,
"Oh.. yeah yeah you should. I was thinking we go watch a movie, but if you want me to meet the girls we can just go grab some lunch"
Movie? Me and him? Alone in a cinema? Forget the girls!!
"Oh yeah movie why not? Is Dana coming? I think the girls will be busy" This is my chance!
"Oh you want Dana to come? I think she has an essay due tomorrow" Hmm.. really? This is only second week of uni, are you kidding me? hehe he wants to go out with me ALONE!!!
"Ok great then, I'll meet you here after class"
I sat in class with a goofy grin on my face. Does that mean that he likes me too? I don't want to read too much into it but he wants to go out with me alone. For the first time in my life I sat in class without taking notes or even listening to what the lecturer was saying, I sat with my pen poised on the blank paper but could only write his name and scribble over it again, I know, lame huh?
I checked my reflection in my small mirror before I walked up to him, good no smudged mascara, and lipgloss still intact. I walked up to him and lightly touched his shoulder as his back was to me,
"Oh you're here, yallah let's go." He held my hand and pulled me towards the exit, I couldn't help but smile, imagining how we would look to other people walking next to us, him holding my hand, walking towards the taxi stop, the sun was shining even though it was cold, the cold breeze playing with my hair. It felt great.
"Odeon cinema on high street ken" he told the cabbie, we got into the cab with him still holding my hand. Ya raby 3alaih!! I felt my heart
 beating so fast, all this from just holding my hand?
"Your hands are cold.." he said as he rubbed my fingers to warm them up.
"Hehe yeah I always have cold hands"
"Do you know what the French say about people with cold hands?"
"umm.. no.."
"They say people with cold hands have warm hearts"
Is it me or is he flirting?
We reached the cinema and it was completely empty, we walked in with him still holding my hand, he bought the tickets and we walked over to buy our popcorn, I pulled my hand away from him and I pulled a medium sized bucket to fill with my popcorn, he walked up to me with two cokes,
"I want salt"
"Get yourself one hehe"
"You'll eat that alone?" he said eyeing my bucket.
"Umm..yeah.. and I eat mixed.. I don't share my popcorn!"
"Hehehe you're so cute wallah" Cute? I don't want cute!! Ufff..
We were early to the movie so we walked into the theatre and the lights were still on, we sat in the back row and he put his long legs up on the seat infront of us,
"I love coming to the cinema when it's completely empty.. a5eth ra7ty akthar"
"Umm I never came to the cinema this time, we always come to the late show"
"hmm.. too crowded for me"
We chatted for a bit until the movie started, and all throughout the movie he was holding my hand, yes yes yes!! I felt like my heart will jump out of its place when halfway through the movie he absent mindedly started drawing circles with the tip of his finger inside the palm of my hand. Kint bamoot!
After the movie, he excused himself saying that he has to meet his friends, he offered to drop me off home but I told him I wanted to walk, it was only a few minutes walk away. I needed to clear my head..
What's happening to me? What is he doing to me? What about Dana? What is she? What am I to him? and does all this mean that he likes me, or is he just being his friendly self? I don't get it.
Until next time..


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