Hello, My name is.. (36)

Dear Diary,

I didn't know how to write this, I think that day was a day that I don't want to remember, but I guess I some how have to acknowledge it.

It's spring now, the colours have changed, everything is green, sunny and happy, but I'm not. I feel like I have aged a hundred years.

3alya went into a coma, the doctors told us that that was it, it could be hours or it could be days. We knew it was coming but we just refused to believe it. Until the last second we thought she would wake up. The doctors told us that we should spend what is left praying for her to go in peace, and to try to say goodbye to her.

3abdallah sat at her bed for 4 days, just holding her hand and talking to her, willing her to wake up. 5alty Mariam and Fa6ma took turns reading Quraan next to her, 5alty Mariam said that if she can hear us, the Quraan will comfort her. S3ood and I were there, well I guess just waiting to pick up the pieces.

4 days..

And just like that 3alya was gone.

She had passed away during her sleep. We were all in the waiting room, 3abdallah was the only one in her room at the time, he walked in looking like a ghost, like he can't see any of us, he walked in just staring at Fa6ma, calling her name,
"Fa6ma.."
She jumped and ran to him, steadying him as he stumbled,
"Fa6ma 3alya ra7at," he whispered falling into her arms, she was literaly half his size, how she supported him and carried him to his seat I will never understand, but she did. He wept  in her arms like a baby.

3alya was right, she was the only one who could comfort him. All she had to do was hold him, whisper in his ears as tears rolled down her face, and his sobs would subside, only to start again as soon as she let go of him.

S3ood and I left Fa6ma and 5alty Mariam to take care of 3abdallah, we went to see 3alya for the last time.

She was still lying in her bed. She looked so peaceful, like she was sleeping, except her hands were so cold and her beautiful eyes were closed forever. We will no longer hear her giggling as she teased her husband, Fa6ma will no longer read to her, they won't argue over word spellings and who scores higher in scrabble.

Her death broke our hearts, she touched all our lives in ways that we never imagined. All we can say is Allah yer7amha, o y9aberna o y9aber ahalha 3ala frgaha.

It took them two days to move her body back home, they all travelled for the 3aza. It's been a month since 3alya's death. Fa6ma is still here in London with me, I asked her to stay because I needed to keep an eye on her.

The other day she told me that life is so weird, it throws things at you when you least expect it; she never expected to love the one woman she thought she would hate, the woman who took her 3abdallah. The two of them shared a bond that no one anticipated, perhaps that bond was the love they both had for 3abdallah.

Neither of us have heard anything from the twins since 3alya's death, 5alty Mariam calls twice a week to ask about us, I've never met anyone as kind as her, Allah y5aleeha lehum.

And me..? Well..

Until a better time..