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Hello, My name is.. (45)

Dear Diary,
S3ood came a few hours after 3abdallah left the flat, as soon as I opened the door his eyes went to Fa6ma's closed door,
"How is she doing?"
"Madry, she said she wants to sleep, but I don't think she's sleeping"
"Yeah, my brother is an idiot"
"Heheh hey you're not allowed to say that!"
"Why not? It's true" I laughed, we sat down on the sofa and I switched on the TV, "would you like anything?"
"La I'm fine, sit down" he said patting the sofa, I contemplated sitting on the one seater instead because I couldn't guarantee what I would do if I sat so close to him, but then again, why deny myself the pleasure? God knows that this is the closest I will get to him, and so I sat down.
"You know Noor, there's only so much I can do, ya3ny I've been yelling at him for the past two months and he won't listen, and I had to stop because after all he's the older brother, I have to respect him right?" he said with a goofy grin on his face,
"Hehe oh so you're the baby twin?"
"Hey! Not baby! Just 10 minutes younger!"
"Hehe that still makes you a baby brother"
"Noorooooo" he said laughing,
"Hehe now you know how it feels to be called a baby"
"But you are.." he said, his eyes suddenly getting more intense, he sighed and put his hand on my head, his fingers running through my hair, "you are a baby, innocent, pure and sweet.." he whispered. My heart was beating so fast it felt like it was trying to leave it's place. At that precise moment, we heard Fa6ma's door open, he jumped off the seat as she walked into the living room, her face red and her eyes swollen from crying.
"Fa6ooma 7abeebty, come here" he said and pulled her into his arms, she started crying quietly as he held her and stroked her hair,
"What does he want from me now?" she whispered,
"Nothing 7abeebty, he wants to be with you, he'll take care of you, you know he will right?"
"What if he leaves? What if he changes his mind? What if I'm too much for him?"
"You know you're the perfect person for him Fa6oom, you've both been suffering without each other, why don't you give him a chance?"
"Because I've tried how it feels to be without him, and I cannot handle that all over again, this time the pain will be more intense and I can't I just can't"
"Shh.. it's ok.. Why don't you two just sit and talk? Without yelling, without judgement, without mentioning the past"
"How can we not mention the past S3ood? That's how we got here.. how can we ignore years of misery?"
"Just like you're willing to ignore years of love Fa6ma"
"S3ood that's not fair"
"What you're both doing is not fair, he loves you and you love him, Fa6ma don't leave tomorrow, if you're not ready to talk to him now then don't, take your time but don't leave"
She nodded, her face still burried in his chest.
He can be so charming, and yet so distant, I don't understand this man, I don't understand him at all.
Until next time..