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If you saw me now.. (3)

If you saw me now...
Would you be proud of me?
Well, you better be K. I worked hard, real hard, in so many ways.
I worked hard to forget you; the day I got the phone call telling me about your accident I worked hard. I worked hard not to cry in front of your mother, telling her, trying to convince her and myself that you were in a better place, a place we all wanted to end up in. I told her that we should be thankful that you didn’t suffer, it was all over in an instant; it was as simple as a bolt of lightning hitting a tree, gone in a second, leaving nothing behind, nothing but a dead tree. In our case that dead tree was me. Did you know that trees die standing? They never fall, just like I’ll never fall, I’ll keep working hard, for you and for me; so you’ll always be proud of me.
No, no, that’s not the only reason you should be proud of me. My life is not all about you, you know. I’ve done things for myself as well. I told you I graduated with honours right? Yeah of course I told you, I would never miss out on an opportunity to show off my talents. Remember when in year 8 I refused to study for the science test, I still remember it, the topic was water and for some reason I just did not want to study! You lectured me on how important education was, and no matter who our parents are and what they own it will mean nothing if we were underachievers; you would think such a lecture would change my mind, right? Yeah well, you must also remember my face when I saw the letter E marked on my paper, from that day on I was a straight A student. All because of you, so are you proud of me K?
Oh, did I tell you I got the job I always wanted? Yeah I did! Can you believe it? I didn’t think I could get it, especially after my first interview at another company, I didn’t even want to work there, but I thought I should apply just to see what’s out there. The moment the guy saw me there, it was like he switched off, he immediately put me in a pigeon hole and mentally branded me as a bimbo; Mesha3el says it’s because of my shoes, do you think it’s true? People don’t take me seriously because of my shoes? Just because I wear pink shoes doesn’t mean I’m Barbie does it? You used to love my shoes K, remember? Every time you would travel you brought me back a pair with you; I still have those.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, so after that bad bad interview I went for the dream job and guess what? They loved me! I know, of course, why wouldn’t they? I mean you can’t help but love me, but you know how it can be sometimes, discrimination, jealousy, politics, we don’t have any of that where I work. The only thing that I don’t like about the job is that I have to wake up early every morning; yeah, I still love sleeping. You used to make fun of me all the time, saying that you were jealous of my bed because I was more excited to see it than I was to see you. If only you knew what I would give to see you K, if only you knew...
As always,
I wish for you my love...