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Senses.. (5)

He sat at his desk, typing furiously on his keyboard, the rapid pace of his typing echoing the sound of his heart drumming in his ears. He wondered as he typed how she could still, after all these years, get under his skin so quickly.
His mind took him back to the first time he saw her; she was merely a child, fresh out of school, while he was a 27 year old PhD student, something about her left an impression, an impression he didn't like. For a few months he continued to see her around the campus, and he continued to ignore the voice in his head telling him to go talk to her. One day he could ignore it no more; he knew he had to talk to her, and so he did. Of course she rejected his initial attempts, but a few months in she finally agreed to get to know him, and everything was a whirlwind from there.
"It was too quick" he mumbled, but somewhere, deep down he knew, even then, that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
He shook his head, trying to remove her image from his head, but his attempts failed as usual. He smiled as he remembered her face, she had always been very beautiful, but her beauty now had a maturity that she lacked when he knew her. He had asked around and found out that she is surprisingly, still single, and had breathed a sigh of relief, without even knowing why. 
He can't still love her? He wondered; true, he loved her when they were together, and had thought about her constantly over the past few years, especially since he had moved back home, but he can't still love her? He frowned, trying to push away those thoughts; it can't be possible, she hates him anyway, he saw it in her eyes all those years ago, he saw how he disgusted her, and he remembers how small that 'child' made him feel.
Looking at his watch he realized that there was no point of him staying in the office any longer when all he could think of was her. He quickly picked up his things and decided it was time for him to end his first day at work.