Senses.. (25)

He stood at his usual spot under the punishing heat, completely numb. All he could think of since that day were her words to him, she genuinely hated him. It was somewhat expected but for some reason, he didn't see it coming, he thought that she had put the past behind her and that they could move forward together, he thought he saw, or maybe he imagined some glimpses of his old Nouf; the Nouf he knew 7 years ago.

He started to light his fourth cigarette when he saw her driving through the entrance, he decided that he still wasn't ready to see her and quickly walked back to his office.

She has been miserable since the day she cried in his office. She didn't understand her reaction, she would be lying if she said she wasn't in love with him, and yet she couldn't trust him, it was true that she still wasn't ready for marriage, but she knew deep down that if she allowed herself and if she had spoken to him then they probably could work out her trust issues, also Manal's lectures probably had some influence on the way she felt now. Her friend could sense that there was some weakness in her voice when she said she hated him, she also noticed that her friend kept checking her phone every five minutes for messages from him, messages that never came. He has been completely silent since that day in his office, that was another reason that made her miserable. She knew that he cared for her, and yet he completely gave up as soon as she said she doesn't want to marry him.

She sat in her car thinking about their relationship, she has been always overly emotional; even now, she had one hundred different feelings everyday. Sometimes she felt that she hated him and sometimes she couldn't imagine her life without him.

She walked in to her office with the same miserable expression she's had for the past few days,

'Manal?'

'Morning to you too'

'Manal, tell me what to do..'

'You need to know what you want Noufa, honestly you're behaving like a spoiled child. If you have something you say you don't like it and if it goes away you cry for it. He told you he loves you, he sent his family, he asked to marry you and you told him you hated him. He told you he loves you and will do anything you want him to do even if its staying away from you and you cry because he gave up too easily. Make up your mind Noufa, I don't know how he was with you before and I don't care what happened, it was a long time ago, what I know is that the man I see today and everyday standing in the heat waiting just to see you for a few minutes is madly in love with you and deserves a second chance, so open your eyes and think of that.'

She nodded in agreement, 'I guess, I'll try..'

She walked slowly towards her fiance's office, thinking of something to say. How will she seem to him if she just walks in and announces that she doesn't hate him, in fact her feelings for him are the complete opposite.

'Good morning, can I come in?' she said, knocking his door lightly,

'Sure, tefa'6ely' he replied looking up from his computer. She walked in and closed the door behind her, without missing his raised eyebrow as she did so.

'To what do I owe this honor?' he said sarcastically when she sat on his sofa.

'Can't I come and have my morning coffee with my fiance?'

'Nouf?'

'Yes..'

'Never mind.. so should I order your coffee?'

'Please if you don't mind'

He ordered the coffee and they were both silently sitting opposite each other until the teaboy brought in two cups of steaming coffee in to the office.

She sat on the sofa, sipping her coffee as he watched her until he got up and moved back to his desk,

'I'm sorry I have some work to do if you don't mind' he said abruptly.

She felt as if he spilled the scalding coffee on her lap, in shock she got up and mumbled, 'sorry, I thought I'd better show people in the office that we were a newly engaged couple, I didn't want anyone to suspect anything, sorry I took so much of your precious time'

'No problem' he replied without even looking at her.

As she was leaving the office she noticed his cigarette pack on his desk, 'I thought you were going to quit?' she asked picking up the pack,

'I was, but now what's the point? I was going to do it for you, because I didn't want the smell to bother you in our house, but since there won't be an 'our house' I guess I don't have to anymore.' he answered looking her in the eye.

'I'm sorry..'

'No need to be sorry Nouf. You were right in everything you said the other day, trust me, I'll make this as easy as possible for you. And you're right about people noticing here in the office, from now on please do come every morning'

She slowly put down the cigarette pack from her trembling hand, she screwed up everything she thought to herself as she slowly walked away from him and left his office closing the door behind her.