Senses.. (16)

She left his office feeling disoriented; she was supposed to have no feelings for him, and he was supposed to be in love with her, so she was, at least in theory, the one with the upper hand, but why was she feelings so confused?

She walked back into her office to find her friend hovering eagerly by her desk,
"Ha sh9ar?"
"Nothing.." she replied shrugging her shoulders, she didn't know what happened herself, how was she supposed to explain it to her friend?
"Noufo?"
"Na3am"
"Are you ok?"
"I guess. I don't know.. I mean I walked in all confident, then I saw him and it all came back to me Manal. I don't want to do this, it was a bad idea" she said shaking her head.
"Why? Did he say anything?"
"I told him we should try to be friends and he said no"
"What?" asked her friend shocked, she thought he would take any opportunity to get back to her, maybe she was mistaken?
"Yeah, he said we can never be friends because we're more than that"
"That's great! See, he still loves you!"
"How is that great Manal? It doesn't change anything! It doesn't change the fact that he hurt me, that he betrayed me!"
"Noufa that was a long time ago"
"Yes but it still happened, I would never forget that!" she said, all the emotions she had been supressing for so long rushing back to her, "I don't feel well, I'll just go home" she continued, picking up her things and leaving her friend, watching her as she walked weakly out of her office.

He sat in his office thinking about her, what made her change her mind? Was it possible that she still cared about him? Why would she? After all he's done to her, he didn't even have the decency to explain, he tried, but even to himself, he knew that he didn't try hard enough. He knew that what he had done was inexcusable, so he didn't bother trying.

It was too difficult, being with her, she was too perfect, life with her had seemed so simple, so straight forward, and at that point in his life he wanted more, he craved excitement and he feared that she wouldn't be able to give him that, so when he finally made that mistake, it was like a break from a perfect life. It somehow made him value what he had, but he also realised that he would never have it again, and he was too selfish and cowardly to try to get it back again.

He sighed, thinking of how life was ironic, he had met the love of his life at a point where he was not ready for her, not ready to settle down and he threw it away, and now that he was ready to be with her, life presents her again, only this time she wants nothing to do with him, as if life is trying to prove to him how stupid he once was.

He picked up his phone to find the only comfort he had in his life now,
Fahad: She wants to be friends
Dana: That's great 7abeeby!
Fahad: How's that great? She hates me, she's just saying that because we work together and she wants us to be civil to eachother.
Dana: Shdarak?
Fahad: I know her.
Dana: You never know
Fahad: I do. You didn't see her, she looked so tired, defeated.
Dana: You said she was sick? Maybe that's why?
Fahad: Her eyes were tired, all I wanted to do was hold her and tell her I'm sorry, I want to make it up to her, everything I did before.
Dana: So do that.
Fahad: How?
Dana: By being her friend, if she wants that then give it to her, she'll realise you're not the same person you were before. Be there for her.
Fahad: I can't be her friend!
Dana: Try. If this is what she wants then you have to try. You owe it to her, and it might also give you the chance to explain to her.
Fahad: I don't want to open that subject with her. Ever.
Dana: Don't think about it now, just show her that you're there for her, give her what she wants.
He dropped his phone, his sister's hollow words dancing on the screen, not doing much to comfort him.