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Senses.. (15)

Was it possible that he had feelings for her? She thought as she looked at her self in the mirror one last time. When they were together he made her feel like she was the only woman in the world, until he cheated on her. She had been so sure that she was the love of his life and he was hers, but then Zaina happened and all her dreams were shattered. Could he really still love her? And does she really still love him?
"Noufo? Betro7een wela shlon?" her friend complained, urging her to go to his office, why was she being so pushy? she wondered, but she was too occupied by her conflicting feelings to think about her friend's motives.
"Ok, ok yallah I'm going" she replied, reluctantly leaving her office.
She pushed all thoughts of the past from her mind as she walked towards his office, her friend was right, he once broke her heart, maybe it was time to break his? But isn't playing with hearts a very dangerous game?
She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath before she knocked on his door,
"Come in" he said without moving his eyes from the screen in front of him, he was frowning as he read something that he obviously wasn't liking, and she couldn't help but remember how she used to calm him down when he stressed about work. She stood by the door watching him for a few seconds until he turned away from the screen to look at her.
He was lost in his thoughts, trying to concentrate on the screen in front of him; he had reread the same email five times in order to understand the jumble of words dancing around on the screen as he was unable to concentrate. He felt foolish and childish; how can seeing her from a few meters away make him feel this way? He heard a knock on the door and tried to concentrate on his work again before looking up at his visitor a few seconds later. His heart skipped a few beats as he took in her tired face, how he wanted to walk up to her and hold her like he used to do when she got sick before. He took in a deep breath to try to steady his rapid heartbeat before he spoke.
"Hala Nouf"
"Ahlain" she replied, suddenly feeling nervous, as if this was the first time she saw him.
"Have a seat"
"Thank you," she replied, walking in to the office and sitting on the chair opposite his desk.
"Allah ysalmek" she replied, suddenly feeling shy, what was happening to her? She was supposed to be doing the heart breaking, not the other way round. "Umm, Fahad?"
"Yes" he said looking at her, for some reason he felt like she was nervous, but he wanted to feel closer to her, to comfort her; he got up from behind his desk, sat on the chair right infront of her and leaned over closer to her, "Nouf are you ok? You look tired" he wanted to hold her hand to stop her from fidgeting with her ring, to tell her that he wanted to be there for her, to tell her he was sorry, but he knew that there was no point, he was too late.
"Umm, la I'm fine, it's just a cold.. By the way thanks, Manal told me that you asked about me everyday."
"La shda3wa, ma sawait shay Nouf" he said leaning back into his seat, wondering why she was here to see him.
She had always loved her name on his lips, the way he repeats her name with every sentence he says, they way his lips curled as he pronounced her name.
"Nouf fe shay? You're killing me here!" he replied, frustrated, not knowing what was happening, why was she there? Was it possible that she wanted to tell him to leave her alone?
His outburst felt like he had just slapped her, she was taken aback by his reaction,
"Wala shay, sorry ga3da a5eth mn wagtek," she said quickly getting up "I just wanted to thank you for asking about me, please don't let me keep you longer" she said, feeling humiliated, she couldn't believe she let her friend talk her into this, he obviously didn't care about her, and now she will just look like the idiot who's throwing herself at him again.
"Nouf, Nouf, Nouf.. la please, please sit down. I'm sorry, ana ma 9adagt you actually come and speak to me, I thought.. never mind, please, let me order you a drink" he said quickly, trying to make her sit down, he felt like an idiot, here he was standing for hours every morning just to catch a glimpse of her, and now that she seemed to be softening towards him, he literally kicks her out of his office?
"La mafy da3y, I'm sure you have important things to do, I don't want to waste your time"
"Noufy please don't say that" he said quickly, not realising the way he had said her name,
"Nouf." she corrected him harshly,
"Oh, sorry I didn't realise.. Nouf" he repeated, feeling flustered. He hadn't felt this way in a long time, she was the only person capable of making him feel like a teenager, and somehow she still had that affect on him. "Please sit, Nouf, please" he said again.
"Fahad.." she said sitting down, "I came here to talk to you about something"
"Inshallah 5air, Fahad, we now work together so, I think we should at least try to become friends"
"Nouf I can never be your friend" he said, "and you can't be mine either, whether we like it or not, we're more than that."
"Well friendship is all I have Fahad, at least for the time being" she said, forcing her self to smile, even though her heart felt like it was breaking apart. Being so close to him renewed all her heart break, and she started reconsidering the whole revenge scheme, was it worth it? Will she be breaking his heart only, or will both their hearts end up being shattered together?
"Nouf, from you I would take anything" he replied quietly.
"Haha, let's see about that" she said, forcing a fake, careless laugh as she got up and walked away from him.