If you saw me now.. (3)

If you saw me now...

Would you be proud of me?

Well, you better be K. I worked hard, real hard, in so many ways.

I worked hard to forget you; the day I got the phone call telling me about your accident I worked hard. I worked hard not to cry in front of your mother, telling her, trying to convince her and myself that you were in a better place, a place we all wanted to end up in. I told her that we should be thankful that you didn’t suffer, it was all over in an instant; it was as simple as a bolt of lightning hitting a tree, gone in a second, leaving nothing behind, nothing but a dead tree. In our case that dead tree was me. Did you know that trees die standing? They never fall, just like I’ll never fall, I’ll keep working hard, for you and for me; so you’ll always be proud of me.

No, no, that’s not the only reason you should be proud of me. My life is not all about you, you know. I’ve done things for myself as well. I told you I graduated with honours right? Yeah of course I told you, I would never miss out on an opportunity to show off my talents. Remember when in year 8 I refused to study for the science test, I still remember it, the topic was water and for some reason I just did not want to study! You lectured me on how important education was, and no matter who our parents are and what they own it will mean nothing if we were underachievers; you would think such a lecture would change my mind, right? Yeah well, you must also remember my face when I saw the letter E marked on my paper, from that day on I was a straight A student. All because of you, so are you proud of me K?

Oh, did I tell you I got the job I always wanted? Yeah I did! Can you believe it? I didn’t think I could get it, especially after my first interview at another company, I didn’t even want to work there, but I thought I should apply just to see what’s out there. The moment the guy saw me there, it was like he switched off, he immediately put me in a pigeon hole and mentally branded me as a bimbo; Mesha3el says it’s because of my shoes, do you think it’s true? People don’t take me seriously because of my shoes? Just because I wear pink shoes doesn’t mean I’m Barbie does it? You used to love my shoes K, remember? Every time you would travel you brought me back a pair with you; I still have those.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, so after that bad bad interview I went for the dream job and guess what? They loved me! I know, of course, why wouldn’t they? I mean you can’t help but love me, but you know how it can be sometimes, discrimination, jealousy, politics, we don’t have any of that where I work. The only thing that I don’t like about the job is that I have to wake up early every morning; yeah, I still love sleeping. You used to make fun of me all the time, saying that you were jealous of my bed because I was more excited to see it than I was to see you. If only you knew what I would give to see you K, if only you knew...

As always,

I wish for you my love...

If you saw me now.. (2)

If you saw me now...

Would you recognise me?

I don’t think so. I’m no longer the chubby teenager you fell in love with; I’m very far from it actually. I don’t want to sound obnoxious but Khaled, honestly? I look hot. I look so hot in fact, that sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror in malls, and think “Oh mashallah, she looks really good” then I realise it’s me o aste7y. Yeah, I look that good, can you imagine? Your girlfriend is hot K.

I wish you were here to see me.

I still wear my hair long, just the way you like it. Remember how you would twirl a lock of my hair on your finger? Or the way you pulled my hair in Chemistry class? I miss those days, before you left to study abroad; before your car.

Asta’3fer Allah, I don’t want to remember.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts... hmm... I think I have so much to tell you I don’t know where to start. A lot has happened during the past four years, I can’t believe I never thought of the letters idea! Ok I know it’s not the same as actually talking to you, but well, it’s close enough. It’s the best I can hope for right?

So, where do I start?

Oh yeah, obviously I graduated from university, and yes with honours. Don’t laugh and stop calling me a nerd. I can’t help it if I enjoy learning! Mesha3el also graduated, she also misses you by the way; sometimes something would happen and we would remember you, I swear I could tell it would be on the tip of her tongue, she would be just about to say how much you would love a movie or hate a song, and she would stop herself because she wouldn’t want to see me cry again. You know I feel guilty for being a bad friend to her, because my sadness has not given her a chance to grieve your loss. You were her friend too, not only my love.

Remember the time when in art class, the teacher asked us to close our eyes and draw what we saw? I still see your face when I close my eyes tight. You’re always laughing in my head, just like I was always sad in your head. Do you believe that the last image we remember of a person is the truest one? I do, at least I would like to believe that you are happy where you are. Can you hear my prayers? I still pray for you every day.

I’m still sad; remember the time we fought and you told me that I’ll never be happy because I don’t want to be happy? I’ll never forget that day. I cried so much, and blamed you for making me the way I am. That was the day we broke up for the first time, before you went to America. I blamed you for making me me, when in reality, this was how I was all along, I told you that no one would want to be around me now because you broke me, I became flawed; the day you came back to me, you told me that I might be the weirdest person on the planet, which by the way, I think I am, but in your eyes I was flawless. That day, I realised how much I loved you, I understood that we were more than high school sweethearts, and I saw that as flawed as I was, you were the only one who accepted me with no conditions.

But I no longer want to be flawed K. I’m tired without you, no one will ever be you, no one will ever replace you, but I am exhausted. I’m tired of being flawed, and not finding anyone who will accept me as I am.

As always,

I need you my love...

If you saw me now.. (1)

Ok, I’m finally doing this, although I feel weird, but no, no I’m doing this.

Yesterday I had a panic attack when I saw a car that had a similar plate number to yours; I nearly crashed into a poor Indian man on a bicycle and had to park on the side of the road for an hour before my hands were steady enough to continue driving.

Of course, when I told Mesha3el she insisted that I go see my therapist because this behaviour is not normal; after 4 years this behaviour is no longer considered normal.

So, here I was, like the good girl that I am; the good Yara, booked an appointment with her therapist and went to see her. It’s not like she was telling me something new, I knew what she was going to say. I know how people think.

“Yara, I can’t help you until you decide to help yourself. You have to be honest with me and tell me what’s bothering you, what do you want? What do you wish for?”

And I told her.

I told her that I still wish for you, that I still miss you. I just miss having you around, I miss our friendship, the way you understood me, just you.

You know, I actually like this therapist. Do you know what she said I should do? I should write you a series of letters, just talking to you, telling you about me and letting out all the feelings I have. She said that it would help me since you were the only person I could talk to; of course, I can’t mail them because well, where would I mail them to? They don’t get mail in heaven do they?

As always,

I miss you my love...

What if.. (End)

Hind left her office with a huge smile on her face, she was meeting Sara in Villagio where they will be shopping for their sudden trip to London.

2 hours later with arms heavy with bags, the girls walked into Le Notre for a quick snack,

"Saro ya3ny I really want to see Bandar bs a7es weird iny aroo7 lah London.."

"Laaaish ya 7maaaara bel3aaaaaaaaaaks.. wayed sexy ina you show up at his doorstep.. o uhwa beykoon labes short.. hmmm.."

"Sarooo ya 7mara!! lazem t3arseeen bser3aa wallah 9ert a5af 3alaaaich!!"

"hahahah shfeeech.. ga3da ashaj3ech 3ala ilsefar!"

"heheh inzain o lama nkoon fe il6ayara.. akeed he'll call me during those 7 hours.. shagool lah?"

"choofy.. let's book the late night flight.. ykoon you tell him you're tired o betnameeen.. gooleela chethy o i7na fe ilma6ar.. o switch off your phone.. 7ata law kalemach lain we9alna before you reach ma bey3arf la2ana ranat London nafs ildo7a.."

"Hmm.. yeah I guess.."

"Wallah I'm so smart! heheh"

"heheheh ee that's why I love u!"

......................................

The next day the girls were at the airport as planned, they were both sitting in the lounge waiting for their flight. Hind was fiddling with Bandar's flat keys.. which reached Doha early that morning.

"eee sh3alaich.. betchoofeen il7abeeb.. mb ana 7asra 3alay.. raye7 ly yadres fe a5er ildinya"

"heheh la7oool bedaina bel7asad..." said Hind as she picked up her ringing phone.

Bandar Calling

"Alooo 7abeeeby"

"Hala galby.. kaifek?"

"Good.."

"Wa7ashteeni.." he whispered

"Heheh inta akthar.. I'm sooooo tired.." she said faking a yawn,

"La? it's still early.."

"hehe early 3endik.. ana mdawma ilyoum mn il9eb7.."

"Oh yeah I forgot.."

"Inzain 7abeeby ana baro7 anam o bakalmek il9eb7.."

"Ok ya galby te9be7een 3ala 5air"

"O int mn ahlah 7abeeby.. love you"

"ana akthar.." he said hanging up.

Sara tugged at her friend's sleeve,

"Yallah yallah Hanood mn mesa3a hathy ilair hostess ily ihya waitress fe il9ij bs mfakra roo7ha shay ga3da t6ale3ny o wed'ha tekfa5na la'ana mn mesa3a ilmafro'6 nkoon on the flight!"

"Hehehe inzain yallah.."

............................................

7 Hours later.. London



The girls were both grinning as they left the terminal in Heathrow, pulling their heavy suitcases towards the taxi parking.

"'Morning love.. where to?" said the cabbie smiling,

"aaaaaah this is why I love London" said Sara grinning back at him,

"hahah go on then, hop in" chuckled the driver as he dragged their suitcases in the cab.

Hind opened the cab window and let the cold air hit her face as they drove accross the city towards their hotel..

"Hanood Allah y'3arbelech BARD!! I know it's supposed to be spring and all.. but it's freezing!"

"hehhe Saro you know I love this weather.. the perfect London weather.. sunny and cold.. everything feels so fresh!"

"Hmmm.. I miss London.."

"Yeah.. ana ba3ad.. bs it'll never be the same.."

"True.."

The girls both sat in the cab remembering the years they spent in London together, the tears.. the laughter.. the late night studying.. or lack of studying..

They reached their hotel an hour later, deciding that since it's still early they'll take a nap and then Sara will go shopping and Hind will prepare her surprise for Bandar.

Hind was unpacking her clothes when her phone vibrated,

Bandar Calling

'3areeba he never calls this early..

"9baa7 il5air 7abeeby.. shemgawmek mn il9eb7.."

"Wa7ashteeny.. I wanted to hear your voice..." he sounds so sexy she thought to herself,

"Hmm.. int ba3ad wa7ashtny.."

"Where are you?" he asked,

"Ummm.. fe ilmaktab.. why? aq9ed wain bakoon ya3ny?" she asked nervously,

"La bes it's so quiet 3endik.. I thought you were at home"

"Ha? la I was working on something important fa I closed my office door 3ashan I concentrate.."

"hmm.. ok..6ayeb I have to go to the office, I'll probably be working until late.. I'll call you when I'm done.."

"Oh meta terja3 ilbait?" she asked quickly, wanting to know how much time she had left for her surprise.

"umm.. around 6 I think, why?"

"La ya3ny 3ashan akalmek.."

"oh ok.. la don't worry I'll call you.."

"Ok 7abeeby love you"

"me too.."

she hung up the phone.. ashwa.. that gives me a few hours to sleep, freshen up and get everything ready.

........................................................

Five hours later Hind was walking towards Bandar's flat carrying her handbag and 2 shopping bags on her shoulder and balancing a box of hummingbird cupcakes and flowers in her hands, she carefully opened the flat door and peeked inside.. as usual, Bandar the neat freak had everything in its place.. she tiptoed inside and switched on the lights walking into Bandar's town house. She always loved the design of his house, the wide entrance, leading into the big kitchen and living room, the two huge bedrooms upstairs.. since this was Bandar's personal flat the furniture was very masculine, and yet very homey. She smiled as she set the things down on the kitched counter and started her work.

Two hours after that she was done and she decided to send Bandar a text message,

Wainik 7abeeby? she typed into her phone, and waited a few seconds for his answer.

Ana fe ilbait.. what are you doing? he answered

"WHAT?! Fe ilbait?!" she yelled at her phone as if she was expecting it to answer,

Shga3ed tsawy? She typed furiously

Nothing.. watching TV.. he replied

How come you're not answering the flat phone? she asked

Ma sme3ta.. what's the problem? I told you I'm at home


Ohhh my God I can't believe this is happening.. she thought.. why is he lying to me? Akeed fe shay.. I knew ina halsafra ma bet3ady 3ala 5air.. Hind could feel the tears rushing to her eyes, her heart felt like it was being ripped into 100 pieces..



tick tick

She heard something.. she looked around but saw nothing..

tick tick



she heard the noise again.. what the hell was that.. hay wagta?

then she saw him..

He was standing by the window, holding his phone and laughing his head off..

"Ana araweeh..! ga3ed ye'67ak 3alay ba3ad!" She was so mad at him for being so childish and yet she was relieved.

"7abeeeeeebty.." he said as he came through the flat door, walking towards her still laughing

"wa5er 3anny.. I don't want to talk to you!!"

"7abeeebty 7abeebty let me explain.. come sit next to me" he said pulling her to the sofa still laughing..

"Maby maby a3arf.. sh'hal7arakaat!!"

"hahahah I just wanted to see the expression on your face.. sorry 7abeebty.. bs I saw Saro fe selfridges an hour ago.. ana kint raye7 ilfood court ajeebly yo sushi.. I saw her and I thought I was going crazy, so I came back home and saw you rushing around the Kitchen through the window.. ma 7abait a5areb your surprise.."

oh.. nesait ina the kitchen is on the ground floor and you can see everything mn ilshare3.. she thought to herself

"So.. I went to sumosan and got your favourite sushi and desert.. o ba3dain ya3ny I wanted to make you laugh with the whole I'm in the house story..yallah 3ad.. la tez3leeen 7abeebty.." he said.. STILL laughing..

"That's so not funny.. you have no idea how I felt.." she replied with tears in her eyes, "kint bamoot"

"Shh.. don't say that 7abeebty I'm so sorry I didn't think.. you know how guys have a stupid sense of humour sometimes.. wallah I'm sorry.. I love you.."

"Maby.. go away.."

"Yallah 3ad 7abeebty" he said pulling her into his arms.

Half an hour later Bandar and Hind were sitting at the table that Hind had set earlier with the flowers and special cutlery that she bought..

"So tell me.. how did you think of surprising me here? Not that I'm not loving the surprise.. I was actually planning to surprise you myself bs sebagteeny.."

"It was actually Maha's idea.. I have something to tell you.."

"What is it?" he said kissing her hand

"I decided that I'll move to Riyadh to be with you.."

He looked at her with so much love she felt like her heart would burst from happiness

"I love you Hind.."

"I love you too.."

.........................................................

Six months later.. Doha..

Hind was staring at the reflection in the mirror, she couldn't believe this was her.. dressed in the beautiful off-white dress she had made for her wedding, finally marrying the man of her dreams..

Her eyes started to fill up with tears as Maha and Sara walked in telling her it was time to go down..

It was her wedding..

Bandar will be coming later..

She felt herself walking out of the hotel suite and into the lift as if in a dream..

Her friends giggling behind her..

She walked into the hall slowly.. stopping every few seconds so people can have a better look at her.. she could feel her body trembling and was praying that no one can see that.. she could see her mother in a corner crying but with a smile on her face.. her sisters running ordering waitresses around.. 3abdelmejeed singing her zafa in the background, but she couldn't make out what he was saying.. after what felt like an eternity she was finally in her seat.

An hour later they announced that the men were coming.. Bandar was coming..

She felt a threatening panic attack.. shit am I ready for this? But then she saw his beautiful face as he walked in with his brothers, her brother and the men in their families.. how he was smiling.. he was walking towards her.. now they start a life.. they start it together.. she stood up as they got closer, her mother covering her shoulders with her veil.. he came up to her, kissed her forehead adn whispered..

"Mabrook ya galby.. you've made me the happiest person on earth.."

"I love you.." she replied,

"I have a surprise for you.."

"oooh I love surprises.." she said, this time meaning it, every surprise she's had from him had been perfect.

"hahah no you don't.. but I love them.."

"and I love you"

"Ok shhhh and listen"

She heard 3abdelmejeed say something in the mic, and then he said:

"Hathy ilu'3neya ihdaa2 mn il3arees lel3aroos.. o inshallah te3jebek ilmofaja'a"

The music started slowly.. wait I know this song.. she told herself..

ya laila dana... she started humming to the music.. she frowned.. this is not 3abdelmejeed's song..

Te9adeg wala a7lef lak.. 3ejezt belsaany aw9eflek.. na3eem il7ub fe wa9lak.. o inta kareem mn a9lak.. o shoof galby 3ala yaddy o huwa a'3la ma 3endi.. o teb'3a zyada fe 7ubak.. ajeeb lak galb thany mnain..



She could feel the tears.. she has to stop them..

Yegoolo gloobahum thabat... mn ilaahaat.. o i7na w3ooodana 6abat.. 3ala il'anaat.. fe donya '3air donyat'hum jadeeda o jannah 3adat'hum.. be7ub o 7anan.. lega o amaan.. ya a7la.. ma na'6ar insaaan.. o teb'3a zyada fe 7obak.. ajeeblek galb thany mnain..


"I love you.."

"I love you too.." he replied.

What if.. (29)

Hind put the phone down slowly, she could feel the muscles in her shoulders tensing.
"Na3am?" she said lifting an eyebrow as he walked in confindently and sat on the chair opposite her desk.
"Is this how you talk to your fiance?" he smiled.
"No it's not.." she said.. shda5ela fe my fiance?
"So.. meta nzoor ilwaled?"
"Na3am? O inta mn tkoon 3ashan tzoor ilwaled?" she said through her teeth, what's his problem she thought. She could see the frown on his face, he was confused... confused because of what? didn't he just hear her talking to her boss and telling him she was getting married? Oooooohh so that's it.. he thought she was marrying him.. that's so funny.
"Hind.. what's wrong? You saw my email.. I know it's not the right way to propose bs ya3ny I assume you..."
"You assume wrong! How DARE YOU walk into my office and sit infront of me ASSUMING that I'm quitting my job and leaving my country for AN EMAIL PROPOSAL!? How dare you assume that I was waiting for you for the past 8 years? How dare you walk into my life now and ASSUME that I will marry you? I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth.. I would rather die alone.. no I would rather KILL myself than be in the same room as you.. let alone marry you! you disgust me.. you're a pathetic, arrogant person!" She was so angry she could feel the tears stinging her eyes but she promised herself she won't cry infront of him.
"But you were just telling.."
"I was telling him I'm getting married.. because I am.. did you hear him congradulate you? because I definately didn't!"

Sultan felt his dreams collapsing around him, this can't be happening.. now that he finally decided to be with her she has the nerve to say no? and not only is she saying no.. she's getting married.. to someone else?

"Then who..?" he mumbled,
"Someone that you will never be like.. you were always jealous of him weren't you? I remember everytime you saw Bandar you would pick a fight with me.. it makes sense now.. because you were threatened.."
"ME? Threatened by him? I am Dr. Sultan Al...."
"So? Where would you be without your wife's money? Does she know you're here? Be careful she might cut off your allowance" she said giggling, the situation was too funny now, he was shaking in his seat.. confused, embarresed and angry.
"Hind inty gad halkalam ily tgolena?"
"6ab3aaan.. shbetsaweely ya3ny? I feel sorry for your poor wife.. her daddy bought her le3ba 5arbana..."
"HIND!! ana ma asma7...." he said getting up from his seat and putting both hands on her desk leaning closer towards her.
"I6la3 bara.." she answered calmly pointing at the door, "i6la3 bara wela I'll call the security ye7thefoonek 3end ilbab"
Sultan quickly stumbled towards the door,
"Ma ra7 ansalech halkalam ya Hind.. you'll see what I can do.."
"Shbetsawy ya3ny? Yallah injili3 you wasted enough of my time!"

Sultan left the room fuming..

"Shlon tetjara tkalemny chethy?" he whispered to himself.. he threatened her as he left.. but she was right.. what the hell can he do?

Hind felt a weight fall off her shoulders, that email was bothering her. In some way she was glad that Sultan came today.. it made her face this problem and solve it quickly.. now she only has Bandar to look forward to.

Smiling she picked up her phone and conference called the girls..
"Alooooo"
"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii I miss you guuuuuuuuuuuys already!" screamed Maha,
"We miss you too wallah.."
"Well guess what.. I'll be moving to Riyadh!"
"Oooooh I'm so happy wallah.. you'll be my neighbour.. o Saro will be all alone in Kuwait hahaha"
"Ya 7maaaaara! You better come visit every weekend!"
"Hehehe ee akeed we will Bandar promised beywadeeny kel mokan abeeh"
"Did you tell him?" asked Maha
"La not yet.. I'll call him ba3dain it's too early in London now.."
"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa don't call! I have a better idea!"
"What?" asked Sara.
"Roooooo7y London!"

After an hour of discussing this, the girls decided that since her parents still don't know she quit her job, she'll tell them she's going for a sudden meeting in London. Meanwhile, Maha will DHL Bandar's flat keys to Doha so Hind can go surprise him in his flat.

"Mahoooy you know I don't like surprises.." Hind said, not entirely convinced with her friends' devious plan.
"Hindoo it's perfect! ana bagool that since you're going ana ba3ad baro7 3ashan ajahez.. ya3ny you won't be alone!" said Sara encouraging her friend.
"Madry.. ok I guess.."
"Yaay we're going to London!"

What if.. (28)

Hind folded her prayer mat as she read ayat ilkursy after she finished from 9alat ileste5ara.. she put the mat on the sofa and headed to her bed, putting her head on the soft pillow and drifting instantaneously into a deep sleep.

She woke up the next morning with a smile on her face, picked up her phone and sent a message to Sara:

9aba7 il5air ya 7ilwa.. I made up my mind :)

She got dressed carefully, got into her car and drove to work.. reaching on time for the first time in her life..

......................................................

Sultan looked at his reflection in the mirror before he got out of his rented Range Rover. Satisfied with the outcome of yesterday's facial in Dubai, he thought he looked great. He slowly stepped out of the car, making sure his kandoora did not get wrinkled from the seat belt, he walked towards Hind's office building with a huge smile on his face.

He felt his heart beating faster as he got closer to her office, once he reached he knocked on the open door and peeked through.. she was not there. He could see her handbag on the desk, so she must've come this morning, he thought.. maybe she's in a meeting. The thought of her not being in the office did not occur to him before. He frowned thinking of her.. what if he missed her? Oh well.. he'll go to her boss and pretend he was here on business.

As he approached her boss's office he could hear her giggling through the door,
"heheheh thank you, I knew you would understand.." he heard her say.

He knocked the door and pushed it open.

Her boss was standing up and shaking her hand and she looked at him with the biggest smile on her face..
She's smiling.. for me.. thought Sultan.
"Ohhh Dr. Sultan, welcome to Doha! I didn't know you would be coming" said Hind's boss smiling, "come in come in" he continued.
"I was in Doha for a family thing and thought I would come and get an update on the work you have been doing.."
"Well I'm glad you can join us for this happy occasion, Miss Hind will be getting married soon! Although we are happy for her we will be sad to see her go.. she just handed her resignation letter, so unfortunately, we will have to assign someone else to take care of your project."

She'll say yes.. she'll say yes! I can't believe it! he thought, Sultan was sitting there with a dumb grin on his face, staring at Hind and she couldn't help giggling at his stupid face.

"Excuse me.." she whispered and left the room.

Hehe mista7ya.. he thought

Sultan stayed with her boss for another 20 minutes, listening to him talking about strategies and plans when all the time he was thinking of Hind. After he finished the lecture, Sultan excused himself and headed to Hind's office, he could hear her loud voice coming through the door,

"Sarooooooooooo Wallaaaaaaaah il'3a6eeem lo itchofeeen wayha! hahahah OH MY GOD kint bamooot ya3ny I was shaking bs maska roo7y '3a9eb"

Just then she heard a knock on her door, she lifted her head to see Sultan peeking through the door.

"Saro ba7acheech 3ogob.." she said in a low voice, her smile fading, and hung up the phone.

What if.. (27)

Hind lay on her bed and re-read the email from Sultan for the fifth time.

I want you to be my wife..

She read.. and then..

you will be my love.. my queen.. just say yes.. and I promise that I will make up for all the lost years..

Hind could feel the tears stinging her eyes.. after all those years she had got used to those tears.. he made her cry like no one else ever did.. but this time the tears were different.. she no longer longed for him.. nor did she wish she could see him.. years ago her tears were tears of longing.. love.. sorrow and regret.. this time they were tears of anger.
She sat on her bed reading the email, clenching her jaw with tears streaming down her face..
"How dare you?" she whispered through her teeth, "I can't believe he could be so arrogant!"
She hit forward and sent the email to Sara, she can't send it to Maha she thought.. it would be too sensitive. She called Sara,
"Aloo"
"Saro check your email."
"Metfar'3a Hanood I'm tired o bacher warana dawam"
"Please check it.."
"Ok ok 9ebry.. I'm logging on.."
2 minutes later..
"Shit.. 9ij 7ayawan! Shbetsaween?"
"I don't know but I'm SO PISSED OFF! Ya raby who the hell does he think he is?"
"Inty 3a6aiteeh akbar min 7ajmah Hind.. You made him feel like he was all your life, he went on with his life and you stopped yours for him.." she said quietly.
"Saro.."
"La it's the truth.. whether you like it or not.. il7imdilla ina you no longer feel like that anymore.. bs Hind he had so much control over you, it was unbelievable. We all saw it 7ata lama kinto m3 ba3a'6, bs ma kint ngool shay la2ana kan y7ebech o inty t7ebeena.. you're having a tough time now deciding whether or not you should move to Riyadh with Bandar when a few years back you were more than willing to move with Sultan.."
"hmm.. Saro that's not true.."
"It is and you know it.. shbetsaween al7een?"
"Madry.. bs qaherny.. 5a6ry I slap him.."
"Forget about him ignore him 5al ywaly.. think of Bandar.. and please make up your mind.. 5ala9 Hind he's waited enough.."
"I know.. ok 5ala9.. I'll talk to you later.."
"Ok... please just delete the email and go to sleep.. he doesn't deserve 7ata inich teqhereen roo7ech 3alaih"
"I know.." she whispered.. "yallah good night.."
"good night"
She hung up and stared at her laptop for another 10 minutes. She then hesitantly moved her hand and clicked DELETE.

What if.. (26)

The next day the girls were both with Maha at the hospital. Hind sat on the bed next to Maha,
"I need to talk to you about something." she said looking at her two best friends "As you know Bandar and I will be getting married soon" she continued with a huge smile,
"EEE a5eeeran!" replied Sara,
"heheh.. anyway.. Bandar wants me to move to Riyadh.."
"Yeah.. obviously.." said Sara frowning, "ilmara tel7ag rayelha.."
"ee bs it's not an easy decision.. fa we discussed it.. o he made valid points, ina Maha is here.. o inty betroo7een ilKuwait jereeb.. o my parents kela msafreen.. bs madry I just find it difficult to imagine ina 5ala9 I will no longer be living in Doha.. ya3ny studying in London was different.. we always knew ina maradna benerja3 ildo7a.. halmara it just seems so final! madry wallah.."
"Shoofy Hind, Bandar loves you o family is very important to him so he will never expect you to give up your family.." said Maha hugging her friend.
"I know.. that's what he said.. bs madry ya3ny I am convinced, but a part of me feels reluctant"
"Hanood 3adi tara.. I felt the same with Mohammed, bs I know ina I have to move.. ya3ny mafy rayyal yel7ag mara.. madry it just makes more sense.."
"eee bs ya3ny sometimes you need your mother you need your sisters.. madry madry I'm so confused.."
"I'm your sister" said Maha kissing her friend,
"I know 7abeebty.."
"Choofy 9aly iste5ara.. bs ana agool lech it makes more sense ina you move to Riyadh.. o ba3dain ta3alo.. I'm feeling jealous now... into ilthentain hne o ana fe ilkuwait broo7y!!"
"Heheheh ma7ad gal lech tetwale3ain fe Mohammed mn awal na'6ra.." laughed Hind,
"Tlooomoony? Jameel 7abeeby... heheheh.. bs ya3ny seriously.. I'm jealous.. bs it's too late now.. I'm taken.."
"Yallah.. tara my cousin is still interested Saro.." said Maha giggling,
"Hehehe la a7eb 7amoodi.."

Hind felt better after talking to her friends, she still didn't make up her mind but she started accepting the idea of moving to Riyadh more. Hind and Sara stayed with Maha until they were kicked out by the nurses, they were leaving back to Doha the next day as they had to go back to work and wanted to stay with their friend as much as possible.

........................................................

Bandar waited patiently as the girls said their goodbyes to Maha and all three were crying because they'll be missing their friend. Maha was now back at home with baby Talal, her husband came the day before and brought his sister with him to apologize to his wife, so the girls felt better leaving Maha now that she was ok with her husband.
"Yallah 7abeebty warakum 6ayara.." he said tugging her from her abaya,
"Ok ok yallah we're coming.." she said sniffing and wiping her eyes.
"Yallah 7abeebty.. I'll drop you off ba3dain arja3 3ashan I pack and leave to London.. awal ma aw9al I'll call you.."
"Ok 7abeeby.. I'll miss you.."
"I'll miss you too.."

...........................................................

Hind reached Doha with a heavy feeling in her heart, "I really miss Bandar"
she said to Sara on their way out of the airport,
"akeed you miss him 7abeebty.. bs tara ma 3endich salfa ina you don't want to move to Riyadh"
"Madry Saro.. ya3ny it's so weird.."
"La it's not.. you love him o he loves you.. does it really matter where you live?"
"Ya3ny now that you put it this way.. la not really.."
"5ala9 3ayal.. 9aly iste5ara.. and then call him and tell him.."
"What about my job?"
"Ohhh Hindo.. mn 9ijich? You hate your job, you're over worked and underpaid o you're not doing something that challenges you 7ata.. it's just a job.. not a career.. quit.. God only knows you should've done it a long time ago! They don't deserve you!"
"You think? I'l think about it today o bachoof bacher il9eb7.."
"Ok 7abeebty.. yallah ako we9alna.. I'll call you tomorrow.." said Sara kissing her friend,
"Yallah bye"
10 minutes later Hind was in her room with her laptop on the bed checking her personal email, she opened her inbox and scanned through her new emails, netaporter, Saks, neimanmarcus.. as usual she thought smiling.. and then she saw it

Sultan Al-..................

"Ohhhhhhhhhh shit.." she whispered to herself.

What if.. (25)

Sultan was seething.. it's been 3 days since he sent that email.. the long heart felt email.. he thought to himself. For the first time in his relationship with Hind he was feeling vulnerable. She was always there for him, never rejected him infact she begged him to come back to her and now that he was offering her marriage she didn't even bother replying!

She's playing hard to get.. he thought to himself smiling. Satisfied with this theory Sultan contemplated what he could do to get her back.

I know.. I'll go to Doha..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hind could feel him shuffling his legs uncomfortably under her.
"Oh sorry, te3abt 7abeeby? Bagoom 3anek" she said trying to get up from his lap.
"La ya galby, I love having you so close to me.. come here" he said pulling her closer and wrapping his arms around her waist.
"hmm inzain shgelt 3an ildo7a?" she said hoping he wouldn't get mad at her again.. but she really couldn't imagine leaving her country for good.
"Shoofy 7abeebty.. ana ma agdar ajberek tetrekeen baladek.. bs I love you.. and you love me.. so we have to be in the same country"
"hehe Bandar mn 9ijjy 3ad.. why can't you come live in Doha?"
"7abeebty ana all my work is here.. I can't drop everything and come.. you know that in addition to my company I have been running my father's business for the family.. plus there's my mother.. I can't leave her here alone.. all my brothers are married and so is Maha.. ya3ny ma laha a7ad '3airy.. it'll break her heart.."
"Hmm.. bs ya3ny ana ba3ad I have my job and my family.."
"You're family 3ala 3aini o rasy 7abeebty.. bs you're sisters are all married o so is your brother and your parents are retired and hardly stay in Doha.. as for your job don't worry.. I'll keep you busy here.." he said kissing her neck.
"hehe Bandar 3aaaaaad.. 3aib.. achoofek 5atht ra7tek.."
"hehehe 5aleeny ya galby I've been waiting for this mn zamaan.."
"heheh inzain madry wallah.. ya3ny 9a3eb a7es.."
"7abeebty.. my mum loves you.. o Maha is your best friend.. plus Saro will be getting married and moving to Kuwait with Mohammed next year when he finishes his PhD.. 7abeebty.. itha kan 3ala ahlek I promise iny awadeek lehum every month for a few days.. o itha safaraw o wedek tro7een lehum ana awadeek.. 7ayaty.. anything you want I will give you.. I promise that in Allah gadarny I'll make you the happiest person on earth.."
She felt her eyes filling up with tears, she looked at him and kissed his head..
"I love you.. let me think about it.."
"Take your time 7abeebty.. it's a tough decision and I don't want you to feel that I forced you to do something you don't want.."
She looked at his handsome face and kissed him again.. How can I say no to these eyes? she thought.
"Ha ashoofek a5athty ra7tek? heheheh" he laughed.
"Hehehe Bandaaaar!" she replied, embarresed.
"Ya 3yoona.. yallah ya galby.. 5aleena nroo7 nshoof Maha.."
"Ok 7abeeby yallah"

..............................................................................

Hind and Bandar entered Maha's hospital room to find her and Sara both sitting on the bed with a box of Fauchon chocolates watching Grey's anatomy on tv.
"Hellooooooo girls.." said Hind as soon as she walked in.
"Oh oh she's smiling.. a5eeran.. 6ool ilre7la o ihya mada boozha 3alay! o achoof ba3aaaaaaaaaaad mn gadah.." said Sara pointing at Bandar's new ring "labestek 5atam o she made honest man out of you?"
"Heheheh Saroooo!!! Bas 3ad!!" said Hind, Maha was laughing so hard at Bandar's red face,
"Ashwa tera'6aitaw wallah.. I'm so happy for you guys!" said Sara jumping up from the bed and hugging her friends.
"I7na ba3ad happy.." said Hind looking at Bandar with a huge grin on her face.
At that moment Bandar's mother walked through the door,
"Ya 7ay Allah mn jaaana.. 7ay Allah um a7fady" said Um Bandar as she hugged Hind tightly,
"Yumma! o 7afeedek hatha ily shelta fe ba6ny 6ool halmudda! ma yen7eseb? 5ala9 awlad Bandar bey5aloonek tensy Baby 6alal o hum lessa  ma jaw" complained Maha.
"Ohhh bedaina mn il'3eera.. shefty?" said Bandar looking at Hind
"Hehehe" she giggled looking down at her feet.
"Yallah 7abeebty 3an ithnek," he said kissing Hind's head, "I have to go back to the office, tamreeny 3ala shay yumma?"
"La 7abeeby.. raby ye7fe'6ek inshallah"
He kissed his mother on her head and left the room, Hind watched him as he walked out of the room and his mother was watching her with a huge smile on her face.
"Allah y5aleekum ly inshallah" she whispered.

................................................................................

Sultan was smiling as he packed his suitcase.
"Baba wain betroo7?" said Baby Hind,
"Ge6ar baba.. what do you want me to bring with me?"
"Maby.. I want to go with you Daddy.."
"La 7abeebty ana raye7 3endi she'3el.. inty 5alech m3 mama hne" he said hugging her tightly.
"Mabyyyyyy" she said her eyes filling up with tears,
"Baba 7abeebty wallah ma at'a5ar" he said kissing her again.
He finished packing his suitcase and got into his car heading to the airport.

.................................................................................

Hind felt her phone vibrating in her pocket,
Bandar Calling
She walked away from the girls and picked up the phone
"Hi 7abeeby"
"Hala ya galby.. kaifek?"
"I'm good.. miss you.."
"Ana ba3ad wallah.. listen 7abeebty something came up at work and I have to go to London tomorrow"
"Oh.."
"Yeah.. o fakry fe ilmaw'6oo3 ily gelt lek 3anah I love you.."
"Love you too"

What if.. (24)

Two hours later Bandar and Hind were still sitting on the same couch.. well Bandar was on the couch and she was on his lap.. giggling as he whispered in her ear,

"a7ebek.."
"Bandar.. do you realise ina i7na ma te'3adaina? We sat for two hours without ordering.. oh my god what will the waiters think?"
"Hahahha why do you care what they think?"
"Fesheeeela oh my god shlon ba6la3 mn hne? Magdar araweehum wayhy!"
"I love you.." he said, kissing her cheek, she turned around and kissed his forehead,
"I love you too.."
"Do you want to go back to the house wela go see Maha?"
"Oh my god I feel guilty nesait'ha! I'm such a bad friend!"
"hehe la you're not.. I'm just so charming nasaitek ildinya o ily feeha"
"hehehe you are 7abeeby.. sh9ar 3ala Maha's husband? She doesn't want to talk about it, whenever we bring him up tgool later let me look at my baby"
"I know.. she's upset.. bs kalamny ilyoum o he feels bad for what happened, he realises that his sister is difficult bs ygool she's his only sister o akbar minna o ma yeb'3a yza3elha.. 9ara7a ho rajal 6ayeb.. byejy ilyoum o bey5aly i5ta te3tether o benshoof"
"Good.. we'll convince her.. o anyway she'll stay 3end 5alty until baby 6alal is a bit older.. betehda during that period inshallah"
"And when will we have baby Faisal?" he said putting his hand on her stomache.
"Heheh Bandaaar.." said Hind blushing,
"You know I can't wait for long until the wedding right?"
"hmmm bs ya3ny.."
"No.. Allah ye3lam how long I've been waiting.. I've been ready for a long time, I have my own company, I have a good income, I've built a house which you will decorate 3ala ra7tek.. ya3ny be5te9ar malah da3y ina we delay the wedding"
"hmmm Bandar?"
"3yoona?"
"wain beykoon baitna?"
"what do you mean?"
"Ya3ny i don't think I can leave Doha.." she whispered.