What if.. (14)

"Alooo.."
"Ya hala wallah.."
"Oh ahlain hala 5alty shlonich?" ... "Oh shit.. her mum picked up the phone" thought Hind to herself,
"La tgoleeenly 5alty, goly mama mithel Maha.." said Bandar's mum laughing..
"Shit shit shit" she thought in her head.. "Heheh" she could only give a fake laugh, this is not the time for her to act all coy infront of her future mother in law.. she needs to talk to Maha ASAP! Hind looked at her watch counting how many minutes she had until she would face Bandar.. judging by the traffic she had about 15 minutes.
"Ana Bandar gal ly ma agool lek, bs ma gedart amsek nafsy wallah.. Allah ye3lam wesh kether inte'6art halyoum.."
"Allah ysalmech 5alty.. bs ya3ny lail7en ma 9ar shay.. o ahly msafreen.."
"Adry! ana kalamt umek gabl shway.. bes gelt laha ma tgool lek.. wallah ina kelena far7aneen likum.."
"Shit.. everyone is conspiring behind my back.. hay wagta mama!" she thought to herself..
"Mabrook 7abeebty.. inshallah awal ma terja3 ilwalda 7ena nejy nzoorkum"
"7ayakum allah 5alty.."
"Hathy i5tek Maha betkalmek.. m3 ilsalama 7abeebty"
Hind looked accross to her friend and saw the worried expression on Sara's face..
"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii I can't believe it's finally happening!!! I'm so happy for you guys.. wallah ukhoooy yestahel!!!"
"Maha please walk away from your mum shway.. I need to talk to you about something.."
"5air what's wrong..?" she whispered
"Is your mum near you?"
"La"
"I got an email today from my boss ina lazem aroo7 Dubai for a meeting on Sunday.."
"6ayeeeeb.."
"And the meeting is with Sultan.."
Hind could hear her friend breathing on the other side.. "Maha.. laish sekaty?"
"What are you planning on doing?" she said carefully,
"I have to go.."
"NO!"
"Maha?! It's not an option.. I have to go! But I want to tell Bandar.."
"Don't you dare break my brother's heart again!"
Hind's eyes started to water,
"I'm so sorry.." she whispered.
"Hind.. Bandar te7amal ktheer 3alashanik.."
"I know... that's why I don't want to lie to him.. I have to tell him."
"No.. don't tell him"
"What?"
"Don't tell him.. just go.. don't mention anything.."
"Maha.. what if he finds out? I'd rather he knows from me wala mn ay 7ad thany"
"Don't go Hind.. it'll break his heart.. please don't go.."
"I have to.. and I have to tell him.."
"Madry.."
"anyway.. ana we9alt ilhotel.. I'll call you and let you know what happens.."
"Ok.. good luck.. I love you.. and my brother loves you.. please be careful.."
Hind hung up the phone and looked at Sara,
"Yalah nezlay.."
"Ma ra7 tyeen ma3ay?" she asked hopefully.
"La this is something you have to do."

.............................................

Hind walked as slow as possible to her 'fiance's' room, as soon as she knocked the door he opened, as if he was waiting for her by the door.
"You're late" he said pulling her into his arms, she burried her head in his chest and breathed in deeply.
"I missed you" she whispered, hugging him tightly.
"What's wrong?" he asked pulling away from her slightly and looking into her eyes.
"Let's sit down shway," she said pulling him towards the sofa. She sat next to him and held his hands.
"Awal shay thank you for keeping our relationship a secret.." she looked up at him and laughed when she saw the guilty look on his face.
"Heheh I'm guessing my mother talked to you.."
"Yes, not only did she talk to me.. she also talked to my parents and apparently we have their blessings" she said with a soft laugh,
"O thany 7aja?"
"Hmm.. I got an email from my boss today ina I have to attend a meeting in Dubai on sunday.." Hind paused, looking at Bandar trying to sense his reaction.. so far nothing.. "the meeting will be with Sultan." she finished. She felt his grip tighten on her hand, his nostrils flaring slightly as he tried his best to contain his reaction.
"Bandar I want you to know that I am commited to making this relationship work.. for the past 4 days I have been happier than I ever was before.. you made me realise what I was missing.. what the future holds for us and how happy we can be together. I'm glad your mother talked to mama, now I have no excuses and we can be together.. maybe it's too soon to say I love you, but you know how important you are to me.. and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.." Hind stopped, looking at Bandar, his face was expressionless.. he wasn't even looking at her.. "Bandar.. talk to me please.."
He turned his head towards her and said "I'm coming with you.."
"Bas.."
"No.. I won't discuss this with you. I'm coming and that's final. Now please change the subject."
With that Hind tried to talk about random things to lighten up the mood, but the day was ruined.. Bandar remained tense for the remainder of the evening.

Even after all these years Sultan managed to sabotage what was supposed to be a happy day for Bandar and Hind.

What if.. (13)

Dubai, UAE

Sultan was sitting at his desk re-reading the email he had just recieved.
Dear Dr. Sultan,
Good morning, hope this finds you well.
I regret to inform you that I will be unable to attend the meeting we have scheduled for Sunday as I have to attend another urgent meeting here in Doha, therefore so as to not affect the workflow, my colleague, Miss Hind Al-...... will attend the meeting on my behalf.
I apologize for any inconvenience caused, and hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks and regards,

"Can it be her? Hind.. my Hind?" whispered Sultan to himself. It's been 7 years since he last saw her.. 7 years since he broke her heart. "Would she still remember me?" he thought.
He smiled as he remembered her voice, the voice he loved to hear every morning, day and night. He would've done anything for her, but he was also too weak and selfish to confront her. He remembered the day he sang to her like it was yesterday.. it made her so happy that he learnt to play the 3ood for her.. she told him she found it sexy, so he went and took lessons for 2 months so he can impress her..

......................

7 years ago.. London

"Hindooooooo.. I have a surprise for you!"
"Haaa haaa shino ilsurprise.. uff you know I don't like surprises"
"Close your eyes"
"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaby"
"Yallah 3ad.."
"Ok.."
she closed her eyes and waited.. she could hear him fiddeling with something and carrying it through her flat's door.
"Heheeh sul6aaaaaaan.. shga3ed tsawy?"
"Open your eyes.."
She opened her eyes to see him sitting on the sofa with a 3ood in his hands,
"I took lessons," he whispered. She could feel her eyes filling up with tears.
"Listen to this.. two songs that I learnt for you.."
"Ok..."
and he started singing.. his sweet voice filling the small room..

"Ya warda fe kul ilfo9ool.. ya far7 3ayya la ye6ool.. gooly o agool.. in kan 3endik ly 7elool gooly o agool.. ya far7at ilgalb il7azeen ilwagt ymer.. o malek 3ether.. kanek tebeen nensa il3omer.. o nensa ilseneen.. o nthooob fe 7ub o 7aneen.. tedreen wesh ser il7ekaya.. ilwagt ymer o lkel shay la bud nehaya.. o 7ena gerebna mn ilnehaya.. o malek 3other.. ya basmat iltha'3r il5ajool ma a'6an 3endik ly 7elool.. ma a'6an wedek netefeg.. o i7na tarana bneftereg.. o la tez3aly.. law neftereg.. galbek 5aly.. o galby ana illy beye7tereg.."

"Sul6aaaaaaaaaaaaaan ma legait ila this song!! laish ildepression 3ad!!"
"Hahah ok I have another song for you.. those are the only 2 I learnt.."
"Ok yallah same3ny.."

"Jeet 3ala baly o 3yooony.. zay hajes.. la7 o 6aif.. gelt as2al 3an 7abeeby.. ya tara a7walo kaaif.. 7ab o itsalaa ba3dy.. wela metmasek be3ahdy.. 3end sha6 ilba7r jaales yente'6er awfy bewa3dy.."
"Hmmm I love this song bs a7es'ha sad.."
"Hmmm yeah it is.."

..............................

Sultan sighed and pulled himself out of his memories, he looked around his office and his eyes fell upon the framed photo on his desk; his family.. his 3 children..

What if.. (12)

Hind could feel her hands shaking as she shut down her computer, she picked up her car keys and her phone and dialled her friend's number,
"Aloo.."
"Ha yallah ako I'm leaving work babadel o bayeekum Sharg.."
"Umm.. la Saro ta3aleely ilbait.."
"Laish shfeech?"
"La wala shay just please come.."
"Hind... what's wrong?"
"Saro bs please ta3aly yallah"
"Yallah I'm coming.."
She hung up the phone and started her car's engine, she was just about to reverse out of the parking when her phone vibrated:

1 new message
Bandar

She picked up the phone and checked the message,
"I'm waiting ya galby, hurry up"
She put the phone down sighing and reversed out, heading home.

........................

Sara entered her friend's room to find her pacing the room, her laptop on the floor along with a few outfits..
"Hanood..? shfeech sh9ayer?"
"Choofy.." she said weakly, handing her the laptop,
Sara started at the screen her eyes getting wider with every word she read,
"Shit.."
"ee ee shit Saro shasawy" Hind was holding her tears in but when she saw her friend's expression she couldn't stop herself from crying.. "tell me shasawy? I have to go, it's not an option.. ya3ny 7ata ma se2alny if I can go wela la.. he said I want you to attend instead! ya3ny lazem lazem aroo7!! I can't face him after all these years.. what if..."
"What if what Hind? Do you still have feelings for him?"
"Madry Saro," said hind looking at the ring in her hand, "madry.. I don't think so.. bs what if it comes back.."
"What if what comes back Hind, he treated you like shit.. this is someone ily ma yestahel 7ata tetfeleen 3alaih if you see him!"
"But.."
"But what..? Nesaity how he left you? Nesaity how desperate you were for him? Nesaity how long you waited for him? Nesaity how you found out he got married 1 month after breaking up with you! Hind.. Hind.. Bandar ma yestahel minich tsaween chethy!"
"I need time to think.."
"You don't have time to think.. Bandar is waiting for you remember?"
"Oh.."
"You should tell him.."
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" yelled Hind,
"Yes, do you plan to start a relationship with a lie?"
"No.." she whispered,
"Good, I'm dropping you off there, we'll call Maha on the way, she'll tell you how to tell him.. he has to know."

...............................

Hind sat in her friend's car her mind going back in time..

5 years ago.. London

Hind sat in Harvey Nichols' Fifth floor waiting for her friend to come, she was happy to see her friend since she hasn't seen her for a whole year, Maitha was her friend from UAE who'd graduated a year before and moved back to Dubai,
"Hiiiiii I missed you!!!" said Hind hugging her friend who'd just walked in carrying 4 big please mum bags.
"I missed you too ya 7mara! ma tzooreena fe Dubai!"
"You know how it is, you go back for a few weeks and have to catch up with the family.. 9a3eb I go to Dubai.."
"Ee ee adry.. sha5barech? O shlon London bedoony?"
"Wallah same.. nothing new.. inty sha5barech? Achoof please mum bags.. 5asha shay 3alaina?" said Hind laughing,
"Laaa moool.. hahaha la those are for my cousin, she's due next month.. tethkereenha 3asha? She came to visit mara mn sentain thalath?"
"ee ee imbala bs ma athkerha 3adel.. ya7lailha.. when did she get married?"
"ba3ad'ha 3ala 6ool in5a6bat.. you remember that guy ily kan sometimes ma3akum? Sultan Al - .........? Apparently chafha fe London o 3ala 6ool 5e6abha."
"Ha?" Hind felt the blood draining from her face, she felt the place getting more noisy, the waiters yelling, the sound of the forks and knives getting louder..

"Hind.. Hind.." Sara shook her friend to get her attention,
"Ha?"
"Shfeech?"
"Wala shay bas sera7t shwaya"
"Inzain yallah call Maha tell her.."
"Ok.."
Hind held her phone, pressed 3 and waited for her friend's voice to come out and help her with her dilemma.

What if.. (11)

Hind couldn't believe it was wednesday already. She was sitting with Bandar in his room watching a movie.. her mind had wandered away from the characters running around infront of her a while ago, thinking of how happy she's been for the past four days.. "I didn't think it would work out this way.." she thought to herself. She was sitting next to Bandar on the sofa, her head lying on his chest, while he stroked her head and played with her long hair.
"Bandar latroo7 ilyoum.." she said looking up to him.
"Lazem aroo7.." he said kissing her head, "I have a job to go back to."
Her eyes started tearing up, "Bandaaaar.." she said,
"Haha lail7en you cry when people travel?"
"Hehehe Bandaaaar.." she said hitting him lightly on the chest.
"I have to go wallah, you know I'd love to be with you akthar, bs I left a lot of things hanging back home last week, fa lazem arja3.."
"Bas bokra weekend 3endikum.."
"True... but I have a lot of work that I have to catch up on 7abeebty."
"Please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.."
"Hehe 6ayeb ok, I'll stay until friday 3ashanek.."
"Yaaaaaaaaay!!" she jumped up and hugged him, "t3arf, I didn't think I'd be so happy with you," she said sitting down next to him.
"I told you to give me a chance, I knew I can make you happy.." he said smiling, "7abeebty..?"
"Hmm..?" she said lowering her head,
"Hindo..?"
"Haaaa..." she laughed,
"Is it still too early to talk about marriage? I know I promised I'll wait.. bs I want to tell my mother, you know that after my father passed away she hasn't been feeling well o ab'3a afare7ha.."
"Hmmm.. I know 7abeeby bs.."
"aish? You know what?"
"I know ya3ny ina she's depressed.."
"La la.. shgelty? You know o ba3dain gelty 7aja?"
"Bandaaaar!! shfeek 9ayer moraheq?" she said laughing,
"Hahah '3a9ben 3anny.. jananteeny!"
"Hehe la seriously, I know inik taby tfare7ha bs I can't tell my parents over the phone, ya3ny they have to be here o chethy.. please let's wait.."
"6ayeb.. ily tamreen 3alaih.. as long as your happy.."
"I am.." she said kissing his cheek.

................................................

Hind reached home that night with a grin on her face, singing 3abdelmajeed's old song..

Sa3eed il7a'6 galby.. 3eref ye5taar 7obak..

She went up to her room and called her best friend
"Aloooo ya 7ilwa.."
"Hahah ilmood 3adel halyoumain achoof?"
"Eeee Saro, I can't believe how happy I am.. ma tewaqa3t bakoon chethy ma3ah.. I'm so happy.. I can't explain.."
"Heheh Allah lay'3ayer 3alaikum inshallah"
"Inshallah.. I'm so happy ily shway a7es I'm scared.. ka2ana I'm waiting for something bad to happen.."
"Hanood, Bandar is not Sul6an.. he genuinely loves you."
"I know, I can see it in his eyes.. I can't believe I was so blind! I can't believe I didn't see it before.. the way he looks at me.. he makes me feel like the most beautiful person on earth, like no one else exists, like I can do no fault.."
"Allah yes3edkum 7abeebty.. you deserve it.. and so does he.. he waited for a long time.."
"Hmm.. he did.. is it too soon to think that I love him too? I can't imagine my life without him Saro!"
"Hmm.. maybe deep down you always did, but it's just hitting you now.. ya3ny he was the first one you called when you were depressed, the first one you called with good news.. yemkin it was always there bs you never knew.."
"Jayez.. anyway I begged him to stay o beyeg3ad lain friday.. bokra ta3aly ma3ay we'll have lunch together mithel ayam London! bs nag9atna Mahooy! I miss her wallah.."
"Hahaha la ma a7eb akoon third wheel! yemkin he wants to kiss you hne wela hnak, I won't feel comfortable with you two eyeing each other wishing I wasn't there 3ashan you make out!"
"Hahahahaha ya 7maaaaara!!! We don't make out! ya3ny bs he hugs me shway o he kissed my head bas.."
"Hahaha ya3ny not even PG ha?"
"Haha ya kalba!!!!"
"Heheheh ok 5ala9 I'll come tomorrow.. bs itha 9erto lovey dovey bakfa5kum into ilthnain! my fiance msafer o ma chefta mn 6 months..!"
"Hahah 9ij ma 9ar phd hay.. meta bey5ale9?"
"Soon inshallah ma bagy shay.. I miss him so much.."
"Hmm inshallah.. would you mind if I get married before you?" said Hind laughing
"Bathbe7ech ya 7mara!!! 9arly mn meta ma56ooba o inty yaya al7een tabeen tesbegeeny? t5asaaaaain wallah!!"
"Hahaha la i'm kidding bs bayanenech.."
Hind chatted with her friend for an hour and went to bed with a smile on her face.

..........................

Hind was at work finalising some documents before she left for the day, it was 3 o'clock and she only had a few things to work on before she could leave, she was looking forward to having lunch with Bandar and Sara, it reminded her of their London days, when they all went out together as a group.. the good old days..
She was just getting ready to shut down her pc when she saw a notification that she got a new email from her boss.. she opened the email thinking uff shyaby hay al7een...
The email read as follows:

Dear Hind,
Good afternoon,
Kindly note that I will be unable to attend the Dubai meeting on Sunday as I will be attending an urgent board management meeting in Doha, therefore I would like you to go instead. You will be meeting Dr. Sultan Al- ...... the CEO of the company regarding....................

After reading the name Hind felt the rest of the words blurring infront of her eyes..
"I can't believe this is happening.. I knew it was too good to be true.."

What if.. (10)

An hour later, Bandar watched Hind walking to her car through his window.. they decided that since Hind's parents are away on holiday for the next month they will not discuss anything about marriage until they are back. For the time being they will try to adjust to the change in their relationship. He would be staying in Doha for the next four days and they planned to see each other and talk more about their situation.
"Atleast she knows now" he thought to himself. Bandar couldn't stop himself from smiling as he imagined Hind waking up next to him every morning for the rest of his life.
"Inshallah 5air.." he whispered to himself.

....................

Hind opened the door to her silver SUV and sat in the driver's seat, she fumbled with the keys in the ignition and failed to turn the engine on, she put her head on the steering wheel and couldn't help noticing how the solitaire on her finger was glinting in the dark car, like it was mocking her with it's sparkling beauty. Hind could feel her heart beating fast, her breath becoming more shallow, "I feel suffocated" she thought to her self. She quickly took of the ring from her finger and threw it in the cup holder to her right.
She picked up her phone and called her best friend,
"Alooo"
"Saro please ta3aly baitna I need you now" she sobbed,
"Hanood it's 9:30 I .."
"Please please say anything and come.."
"ok I'm on my way.."
15 minutes later Hind was sitting on her bed staring straight ahead in shock with the ring clasped tightly in her hands, she could feel the cold diamond cutting through the soft flesh of her palm.
Sara opened the door and saw her friend frozen on the bed with her back straight and stiff.
"Hanoooooood.. shfeech?"
Hind just turned around to her friend and pushed her clasped hand forward..
"Choofy.." she opened her hand to show her friend the ring.
"Nice ring.. inzain? shino ilmoshkila..?"
"Bandar gave me this." answered Hind quietly.
"Oh.."
"Did you know?"
"I knew he loved you Hind, everyone knows, but I didn't see this coming"
"Everyone knows?"
"Yes, even his mother"
"Oh shit.. am I the bitch that kept breaking his heart?"
"You're not a bitch" she said quietly hugging her friend, "Shhhhhh.." she said as Hind started sobbing.
"I said no awal mara" she cried, "and then I walked away and looked back at him, and he seemed so lost, so sad, his shoulders slumped ka2ana he aged 10 years and I couldn't walk away any further, I can't do to him what Sul6an did to me, fe nafs ilwagt ana ga3da a'6lema ma3ay.. I love him I really do.. but I can't give him what he wants.. I don't have it in me.. Sul6an took everything away from me, I've nothing more to give.. I dont want to hurt him I love him too much to do that.. and .. I .. what about Maha? What if it doesn't work out between us and then Maha ends up hating me? I can't lose 2 friends at the same time.. Saro please help me shasawy?"
"Shhh it's ok.. don't worry illy Allah katbah bey9eer.. inzain shgelty 3ogob? The ring is with you so I assume you said yes?"
"La.. I said no awal shay when he said he loves me.. in9edamt Saro, this is Bandar.. you know what I mean.. and then he asked me to leave and I was going to.. bs then I saw him and I couldn't.. so we talked.. he told me he will be patient and that he'll always be here for me, but he wanted me to keep the ring 3ashan I know what his intentions are.."
"Zain that's great.. ya3ny he's not putting any pressure on you Hindo"
"Adry, but still.."
"Inzain wain we9alto a5er shay?"
"Ina I will keep the ring and think lain ma my parents come back. He's staying lain wednesday 3ashan we see each other shway.."
"Good. Hanood ma ra7 tlageen mithlah."
"I know.."
"5ala9 goomy '3asly wayhech o let's watch a movie and eat chocolate 3ashan you feel better" said Sara laughing.
Hind smiled weakly and said "ok"
The girls spent the rest of the evening watching a comedy and talking about everything except what was on both their minds. Before Sara left Hind hugged her tightly, "Saro itha kalemach Bandar don't say anything.. just act happy o inich mestansa lena.. I don't want him to feel anything, and don't you dare tell Maha!"
"I know, I know don't worry.. I love you" she said kissing her friend.
"Ana ba3ad, good night"

..................................

The next morning Hind woke up feeling better, "I will give it a try, he's a great guy o 9ij ma balagy a7san minah.." she thought remembering Bandar's handsome face. She picked up her phone and found a text message from Bandar,
"9aba7 il5air 7abeebty :*"
She smiled and got out of bed to get ready to go to work.
At 1 pm, she was sitting in the office frowning at her screen going through her emails when her phone rang,
Bandar calling
"Alooo"
"9ba7 il5air"
"Baaaaaaaal shda3wa tawek gayem? When did you send me that message 3ayal?"
"Haha before I slept"
"Shge3adt tsawy?"
"Afaker feek" he whispered,
"Oh.." she could feel her face getting hot,
"Teste7een galby?"
"Bandar.."
"Haha 6ayeb 5ala9.. bashoofek ilyoum?"
"Inshallah.. after work.."
"Ok, I'll wait for you we'll have lunch together."
"Ok.. see you.."
"Bye 7abeebty.. give me a kiss"
"Bandar!!" she said as the blood rushed to her cheeks,
"Hahah 6ayeb 6ayeb I'll see you later o awareek"
She hung up the phone and smiled, "why am I so afraid? This doesn't feel so bad"

..................................

Hind was smiling as she was driving through the crowded streets of Doha, she chose to dress more casually since they will be only sitting in the room and ordering room service, she wore a white knee length cotton dress with flat embellished jimmy choo sandals and let her long hair fall in loose waves on her back. When she reached his room she knocked the door and he opened it immediately,
"Hi" she said shyly.. "this feels so weird," she thought, she watched him as she took off her abaya, he was wearing jeans and a black polo shirt, his hair still wet from the shower and he smelled great. He was also looking at her nervously,
"shfeek?" she said,
"Wala shy," he answered, his eyes involantarily going to her hands looking for his ring. When he saw the ring in her hand he smiled and pulled her to him,
"Ta3aly hina" he whispered and hugged her tightly, "wa7ashteeny" he said as he kissed her head,
she looked up at him and whispered, "Bandar..."
"Ya 3yoon Bandar," he said and kissed both her eyelids,
"Ana yo3ana." she said smiling.
"Hahahah fakart betgoleen shay! 6ayeb yallah let's order lunch," he said as he pulled her from her hand towards the phone.. as he was ordering their lunch Hind opened her handbag, pulled out her phone and typed a message to her friend,
"I think this will work out :)"
and sent it to Sara.

What if.. (9)

Bandar could hear Hind's footsteps as she walked towards the door,

"I can't believe I did this.." he thought to himself, he felt his body shaking and he couldn't control it, "why did I react this way? Ya Allah, ya Allah.. I waited for 8 years and I couldn't give her five minutes?" he heard the door closing and felt his world crashing around him.
Suddenly he felt her cold hands touching his forehead,
"Bandar.." she whispered, "red 3alay please"
He stopped shaking but still kept his hands over his face, "I can't look at her now," he thought.
"Bandar Allah yer'6a 3alaik.. don't do this to me" she begged him, "you know I can't lose you, what would I do without my Bandar?"
Bandar could physically feel his heart breaking but he couldn't say anything, "what does she expect me to say? 3adi? It's ok?"
"Bandar.." she held his hands trying to pull them away from his face, "please look at me"
He looked up at her and she was shocked to see the expression in his eyes, there was so much pain, he looked like a lost child and all she wanted to do was kiss his head and hold him in her arms, telling him that everything will be ok and that she will give him anything he wants.
"Hind.. I really can't do this anymore. I can't be your strong person.. ana ma 3ad feeny a36eek shay.. 5ala9.. you took everything. I don't mean to be harsh, but this is the truth. I have no energy left in me. I waited for years hoping, that one day you will notice me, one day you will realise that I stood by you because I love you, and that you will love me back."
"But I do love you.." she whispered.
"As a friend? That's not love.. atleast that's not the love I have for you, I want you to be my wife, I want you to carry my children, I want them to have your hair, your skin, your eyes, I want them to feel like you, to smell like you and to laugh like you. Maybe that's too much to ask, but this is what I want.."
"It's not too much.."
"What?" he looked at her shocked.
"What if it doesn't work out?" she said, looking at him with tears in her eyes, "I can't take another break up, I can't, I can't.."
"What if it works Hind? Don't you want to be happy? Ana shareek Hind, shareeek"
"I don't know.. I don't know.." she said shaking her head, "this is too much, I can't take it Bandar, I can't tell you I love you now, I mean ofcourse I do.. bs I've never thought of it this way.. maybe if I gave myself time.. I don't know.. but Bandar I don't want to risk losing you"
"Hind.. you will never lose me, even if it doesn't work out I will always be here" he said encouraging her, "come here," he said pulling her into his arms. Hind felt safe between his arms, like nothing bad could ever happen to her, she could feel him breathing softly on her hair and could feel his fast heartbeats close to her cheeks, she closed her eyes and breathed in his smell, "ok" she whispered.
"Hind.. galby?"
"Haaa"
"Haaa? hahah that's the best you can do?"
She looked up at him smiling through her tears, "baal kilish maby achoof wayhy in the mirror, akeed I look like a panda, are you sure you want to be with this?" she said pointing at her face.
"a7la panda fe il3alam" he replied kissing her nose, "Hind I don't want to be with you."
"Haaa?" she looked at him shocked, "al7een tawek ga3ed tgool ly.."
"ee ee I don't want to be with you, I want to marry you, " he said putting his hand in his pocket and pulling out a maroon Cartier box, "I know this is too much, and you're overwhelmed, but I love you and respect you, I also respect your parents, fa ma ab'3a yejy youm o they think that I took advantage of their trust for me, la tensain inhum fet7o ly bait'hum" he said quietly, "I want my intentions to be clear, don't say yes or no now, just keep this with you." said Bandar, pushing the box in her hands. "Can I see it in your hands? Or would that be asking for too much?"
Hind didn't know what to say, she WAS overwhelmed, "umm yeah I guess, why not?" she opened the box to find a beautiful 3 carat princess cut solitaire surrounded by two smaller solitaires on a platinum band, she carefully slipped it on her ring finger and showed it to him.
"Allah la ye7remny minik.." he said kissing each finger.

What if.. (8)

Hind opened her eyes slowly and squinted against the light coming through her windows, she picked up her phone which was lying next to her on the bed and looked at the screen:

1 missed call Bandar.

She dialled the number and waited for his voice to come through the other side.
"Aloo"
"Hello Hello" she sang to him,
"Haha ashofek rayga ilyoum?"
"Eeee I had a loooong sleep... sha5barek?"
"I'm ok.. so no dreams?" He tried to make the question sound normal but he was afraid that she could hear the stress in his voice.
"Ela! I had a great dream" she said laughing,
"5air inshallah?" he was now even more worried,
"I dreamt that I was in London o ga3da fe baitkum eating humming bird cupcakes with you, o ba3dain wadaitny sumosan o kalna black cod o 7alaina thak ilweird green cake ily a7eba!"
"Hahah o inty dayem hamek 3ala ba6nek?".. "Il7imdilla.." he thought to himself.
"Ufff.. ilsharha 3alay ily I shared my dream with you!"
"6ayeb 6ayeb.. I need to talk to you about something.." He paused for a second.. "I'm coming to Doha today, can I see you?" he held his breath waiting for her answer.
"Hmm.. my parents msafreen.. o 7ata Khaled u5ooy wela chan bagoolek ee.. bs.."
"I don't want to see your parents wala Khaled..a9lan adry ina Khaled msafer..I need to see you" he said quietly.
"Hmm I guess ya3ny madry.."
"Hind.. I have to see you.. I'll book a suite in Sharg hotel, you won't have to walk through the lobby, just come from outside past the pool and spa.."
"Bas Bandar madry mb 7ilwa I come to your room.. lazem ya3ny? tell me on the phone.. shfeek?"
"Hind, I already booked the flight, I'm on my way to the airport, betjeen e wela la?" he was losing his temper, he knew it sounded weird to her but there was no way he could explain on the phone, he had to see her.
"5ala9 ok.. bagool 7ag Saro o benyeek"
"Hind..." he let out a long breath, " Hind.. ana gelt lek ab'3y ashoofek INTY.. wesh da5al Sara?"
"Oh.. I'm getting worried Bandar shfeek?"
"Hind e wela la?"
"ee ee 5ala9 ok.." she laughed nervously, "Shfeek ingelab moodek mara wa7da?"
"La wala shay" he said softly, "5ala9 I'll call you when I reach the hotel."
"Ok, see you"
Hind hung up the phone and dialled Sara's number immediately.
"Haaaaaaaaaa... sh-mushkeltech inty? since when did I appoint you my personal wake up call?"
"Ya kalba.. goomy Saro.. Bandar madry shfeeh"
Sara opened her eyes suddenly, "shfeeh?"
"Madry, he called o kan 3adi ysolef all of a sudden he went all weird o gal ly I'm coming to Doha o I have to see you madry wesho.."
"Weeeeeeeeyh fakart 3endich salfa.. 3adi beyey ildo7a o he'll see you, mub awal mara.."
"eee bs dayman ykoon Khaled hne o he comes to the house yet3asha or whatever.. halmara kalamny o gal lazem he sees me alone o ma5eth suite fe sharg o madry wesho.. lo wa7ed '3air Bandar chan rega3t iltelephone fe wayha!"
"Hahahha e tsaweenha.." Sara frowned as she thought, "ya3ny lazem he acts all romantic and freak her out chethy all of a sudden.."
"Inzain.. shbetlebseen?" asked Sara,
"Shbalbas ya3ny.. ela Bandar.. 3adi"
"ee bs ya3ny mn zeman ma chafach"
"eee.. hahah tethkereen how I had a crush on him awal ma I met him.. o kent kela at3adal gabel ma aroo7 bait'hum in London?"
"Hmm yeah.." replied Sara absent-mindedly.
"Anyway.. yallah let me go to the gym 3ashan yemdeeny arja3 and go meet Bandar"
"Yallah bye 7abeebty.. let me know what happens."
"Ok.. talk to you later"

..................................

Bandar buckled his seat belt as the seat belt sign went on in the airplane's First class cabin, he heard the flight attendent's voice announcing the descent to Doha International Airport and recommending the Four Seasons hotel in Doha. He put his hand in his pocket and fidled around with the maroon box inside, thinking of how he will talk to his Hind.

.................................

Hind was sitting in her car swaying to the music as she navigated her way through the construction on the streets leading to Sharg hotel. Bandar had called her 15 minutes ago telling her that he'd just arrived at the hotel and urging her to hurry up. She smiled as she remembered that she's going to be seeing her friend soon, she hasn't seen him a very long time, so as per Sara's instructions she took care of what she was wearing. She wore a belted black and grey Issa dress with opaque stockings and extra high heels that made her legs look endless, she kept her make up minimum as Bandar never liked too much make up. She frowned as she thought to herself, "since when do I care what Bandar likes?" she laughed this off as she parked her car next to the six senses spa and walked through gardens of Sharg, looking for Bandar's villa number.

.................................

Bandar was pacing his room nervously and looking through his window every few seconds until he saw her, she was walking as quickly as her high heels would let her while holding her abaya half way up her legs, he laughed knowing that she never got used to it and always complained that it made her trip and fall over. He walked down the stairs and opened the villa door watching her as she noticed him, squinting until recognition registered on her face and she smiled her beautiful smile.
"Ahlan ahlan, ya 7ay Allah mn jany"
"Allah y7ayeek..hehe" for the first time in a long time she felt nervous around Bandar, "this is really weird" she thought.."why does it feel like a date?" she followed him up the stairs, her heart beating fast.
"Tefa'6ely.. I already ordered your Diet Coke" he said smiling as she sat on the sofa, he noticed that her hands were shaking so he tried to think of a way to make her relax, even though he was nervous himself.
"Thanks.." he watched her taking off her abaya and brushing her long brown hair with her fingers.
"So.." he said as he led her to the living room, "wesh a5barek..?"
"I'm ok, how are you?" she said watching him, "why am I feeling so weird? yemkin 3ashan mn zeman ma chefta? bs I talk to him every day.. akthar mn ma akalem Maha.. bas I forgot how hot he is!" she thought as she watched the muscles in his forearm rippling when he poured her diet coke in the glass.
"Hmm.. Hind, I told you I need to talk to you about something.." he started,
"ee 5air?" she looked at him, she was really worried about him and she forgot how nervous she felt.
"Hmm.. maneeb 3aref kaif abtedy.. you know that I've been single for a very long time.. have you ever wondered why?"
"ee I did, I always thought ina 3endik 7ad bs ma taby tgool.."
"3endi o ma 3endi.."
"Shlon ya3ny?"
"Ya3ny I've been in love with someone for a very long time bs she doesn't know"
"Mn halhabla ily ma t3arf what she's missing?" she said teasingly.
"You." he watched her face as her smile faded and shock registered on her beautiful face.
"Meen?" she whispered,
"You," he said quietly "From day one.. 8 years ago.. before you even met Sultan.." he saw her wincing when she mentioned Sultan's name, a tear slowly slipping through her long lashes.
"Please say something Hind.." he said as he came up to her and sat on his knees opposite her holding her hands tightly in his own.
"Madry.. Bandar ga3ed te9demny.. 8 years?" she looked at him with so many questions in her eyes, "8 years Bandar?" she repeated, "laish ma gelt shay?"
"You were so young when I met you, you were only 17 and I was 23, akbar menek bktheer.. and you were always so shy around me.. ma kenty tkalmeeny at all.. until you met that person, it's ironic that that was the only time you started relaxing around me.. and then you know what happened.. I guess I didn't want to be the rebound person, so I waited.. until I waited too long and I became your friend.. but you can never be my friend Hind, I love you, I love you, I love you.. and I can no longer not have you in my life.. 5ala9.. it's been long enough.. please say something" he put her cold hands close to his lips and kissed them, "please say something.. please.." he breathed into her hands..
She tried to stand up so he stood before her and pulled her into his arm, breathing in her perfume,
"Hind.. 7abeebty..?"
Suddenly he felt her shaking in his arms.. sobbing..
"I can't Bandar, I can't.." she felt his body go stiff against her, "I can't lose your friendship.. what if this doesn't work out? We won't be friends anymore.. and Maha? what about Maha? Does she know..?"
"Everyone knows.. I love you Hind, laish ma tefhemeen? EVERYONE KNOWS!! ela inty!! You put yourself in your own world and you stopped seeing anything.. you don't see the love I have for you!" he said as he pushed her away, "You're afraid of losing my friendship? guess what? you never had my friendship! You had my love, you always had my love, my heart and my life.. but it seems like that doesn't interest you, so please leave!" he yelled at her, for the first time in her life Bandar yelled at her and she was shocked, she started shaking as she picked up her abaya and hand bag from the sofa. She looked at Bandar as he turned his back to her.
"I always took care of you when you got your heartbroken, but you never knew that you broke my heart everyday" he whispered.
"Band.."
"Please leave, I can't see you now."
"I'm sorry" she whispered between sobs, "I'm so sorry.." she said walking away from him, when she reached the door she looked back on Bandar and saw him sitting on the same sofa she was sitting on earlier with his head between his hands and his whole body shaking..

What if.. (7)

Hind quickly switched the lines from Bandar to Sara,
"Alooo.."
"Hi Hindo.. mn t7acheen hal7azza? 3endich call waiting achoof?" said Sara laughing,
"Weeeyh Saro madry mn ba7achy.. kint a7achy Bandar.."
"Oh.. sha5barah?"
"Madry ma amdany akalmah.. kint tawny meta9lah feh when you called.. kan nayem wa3alaia"
"Haha miskeen.. ya3ny gawamteeh mn ilnoum ba3dain 5alaiteeh ywaly when I called you?"
"6ab3aaan.. kam Saro 3endi?"
"Haha I'm flattered.. miskeen wallah.. 9aaber 3alaich.."
"9aber 3alaay? Laish inshallah? Shemsawya feh?"
"La.. la wala shay" answered Sara with a low voice, thinking of both her friends, she really wanted to help Bandar but didn't know how to.
"T9adgeen madry shkan beygool ly Bandar.. gal ly I need to talk to you.. you think Maha feha shay?"
"He said that?" Sara couldn't believe that Bandar finally found the courage to talk to her friend, "inzain o shgal lech?"
"Nothing, you called o 9akait mina.."
"Hmm.. inzain call him back"
"Laa maly bare'6.. akeed he went back to sleep"
"Hmm.. maybe"

...................

Bandar couldn't go back to sleep, he had to talk to her, he couldn't take it anymore. His mother came to talk to him earlier that evening regarding his marriage, she wanted to see his children she told him, his younger brothers and sister were all married, and his mother was not getting any younger. She told him that she was prepared to talk to Hind's mother today, all he had to do was say ok. Unfortunately that was not all he had to do; how can he explain to his mother that the love of his life sees him only as a friend?

.....................

The next morning Bandar woke up early determined that today he will do something about his situation with Hind.. "what is the worst thing that could happen?" he thought to himself, if she rejects him then it won't make a difference, it will only mean that he never had her, and if she says yes then he will be the happiest person on earth. He decided that he will go see his little sister Maha and talk to her about it,
"9aba7 il5air ya ajmal i5et fe il3alam" said Bandar as he watched his sister wobbling down the stairs,
"Ajmal? Are you sure you're seeing the same thing I saw this morning in the mirror? I no longer recognize my face!!" said Maha as she threw a cushion that missed her brother by a few centimeters, "Shut up!!! It's not funny!!"
Bandar couldn't control his laughter as his sister started crying,
"Shhh it's ok 7abeebty inshallah it'll only be a few days"
"Laaa I saw the Dr. yesterday he said they miscalculated and I still have 3 weeks left"
"Inshallah it'll be ok don't worry" he said as he hugged her and kissed her head,
"Maha I need to talk to you about something.."
"5air 7abeeby?"
"Ams ilwalda jat kalamatny 3an maw'6oo3 Hind" he started,
"Adry galatly.. wesh nawy tsawy?"
"I think I'll talk to her today.."
"Oh my God a5eeeeeeran!!! I'm so happy for you guys.. bs ya wailek if you got married before I lose my pregnancy weight!!"
"Hey hey.. shway shway.. I said I'll talk to her ma gelt ina 5ala9 we're getting married!" he said laughing.. he paused for a while and looked up at his sister, "You think betwafeg? Honestly? Imagine I'm not your brother, do you honestly think she's over that creature that she was so in love with?"
"To be honest I think she's been over him for a long time, but she's not over what he did to her. She's affraid of getting hurt again.. you remember what she went through, it was traumatic."
"Yes but she knows I would never hurt her.."
"Which is why I'm sure she'll say yes"
"Allah yesma3 minik" he said smiling.
After teasing his sister for another hour about her pregnancy bump, and rehearsing how he will start the conversation with Hind, Bandar left his sister's house with a smile on his face.. he hasn't felt this good about something in a very very long time..
"If she says yes.. If only she says yes.." he thought to himself, "I will take care of her, I will make her forget all the pain she's been through before."

What if.. (6)

Ayaam 7ilwa.. kanat ayam 7ubik.. kint fe roo7y tasry.. kint bejnoon a7ebek..

Hind sat on her bed with her laptop shopping online for nothing in particular with Nawal playing on her iTunes. Listening to the song Hind sighed and started remembering her love story with Sultan. When they first met everything was perfect, they seemed to be the perfect couple, he knew what she was thinking before she even realised it, he completed her sentences, he pushed her to study harder.. in her eyes he made her a better person. She smiled as she remembered the countless times he told her to study, that her education is important, that she had her future in her hand, and that she can either make or break her life.. she remembered how she used to tease him that he sounded like her father.. and she remembered how he told her that he only said these things because he loves her..

She also remembered how much she suffered when he left.

............................

Sultan was a final year student while she was just starting university when they met, they fell in love quickly during that year. By the summer Sultan told her that he wanted to go to the US to finish his postgrad studies, he'd gotten a scholarship from UAE and had to go to New York in a month's time. She was devastated but there was nothing she could do.. he bluntly told her that his future means too much to him and that he will always be there for her.. she trusted him.. She was there in the airport saying good bye with a big fake smile on her face and he promised he will call her as soon as he reaches New York. Hind went back home from Heathrow and counted the hours until his BA flight reached New York.. She started getting worried when 3 hours after the flight has landed Sultan had not even sent her a message. Her friends comforted her telling her that akeed uhwa mash'3ool.. tawa wa9el balad yedeed o ila ma 6ela3 lah shay ysaweeh.. Those excuses worked for the first two days, by the third day Hind was going mad, her friends had no more excuses for Sultan..she no longer slept, she couldn't eat, she wept hysterically all day and had no way of contacting him except by flooding his email with "Wainik? I'm really worried". This continued for 2 weeks when finally Sultan sent her an email telling her that because of the time difference, he had been very busy and constantly tired, therefore please call the flat number that he added at the bottom of the email. Hind frantically dialled the number and after several failed attempts an American woman answered, when she asked her about Sultan the answer she got was "Oh you mean the old tenant.. He just moved out.." Hind couldn't believe that this was her Sultan.. he wouldn't do this to her.. lazem feh shay, so she continued the emails, finally he sent her his mobile number.. after 3 months of suffering, by that time Hind had wasted away.. she existed on anti-anxiety medications. The final conversation they had marked the point where Hind started blaming herself for the way the relationship was ended. She'd been calling him for 2 days and he didn't answer, when he finally did she decided that they had to have an honest talk.. Hind still remembered the painful conversation..
"Aloo"
"Hala"
"Shlonik 7abeeby?"
"B5air.. sh7alich?"
"I'm good" after a long pause.. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong? Nothing.. inty shfeech you call wara ba3a'6? feh shay?"
"Laish tkalemny chethy?"
"Shlon tabeeny akalmech?"
"Tarak mub ma'39oob.. itha ma taby tkalemny it's fine.."
"Ok.. Fine.."
And he hung up..

.......................

With a tear falling down her cheek Hind stopped Nawal's sweet voice..

"What if I didn't say that sentence?" Hind still blamed herself for that conversation.. she felt that this was what made him call her friend and break up with her in that way.. "I was once happy.. bs il7imdilla 3ala kel 7al.. atleast I had friends who helped through all that shit.." she thought to her self. She smiled as she remembered how hard her friends worked to make her laugh, especially during the first year after the break up, when all her nightmares started. She dreaded falling asleep, she dreaded the dream where she saw Sultan walking away from her, but the dream she was afraid of the most was the happy dream, when Sultan would call her and tell her that he loved her, it terrified her because she knew that when she woke up she would realise that it was all a dream, and that Sultan was no longer a part of her life.

Hind shook her head and smiled, remembering her friends and how they always stood by her, especially Bandar. She picked up her phone and dialled number 2 on her speed dial,

"Aloo" answered Bandar in a husky voice.
"Oh sorry int nayem.. 5ala9 I'll call you tomorrow"
"La la maneeb nayem.. ana 3alashanek ansa ilnoum"
"Hahah Bandar 3an il3ayara"
"Hehe tell me.. what's wrong?"
"Why would there be anything wrong ya3ny? Can't a girl call her friend bas chethy?" she answered teasingly.
"Ela.. bs mo inty" he laughed
"Hahah ok ma3alaih.. la bs I just wanted to say that I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life"
Bandar went quiet for a few seconds, then said "Hind there's something I need to tell you.."
"What is it?"
"I..."
"Ooooh akee Saro's calling.. let me call you back yallah bye.."
"But.."
Bandar stared at his phone while the line went dead.

What if.. (5)

Bandar sat in the board room lost in his thoughts, playing around with his pen..
"Sir" the marketing manager looked at his boss, "Sir, excuse me"
Bandar was sitting in the room but his thoughts took him to the day he met Hind.

8 years ago.. London

"Bandar pleaaaaase I really want you to meet my friends" said Maha
"Galolek ana fa'6eeelek inty o your friends.. yallah.. yallah" said Bandar, playfully throwing a pillow at his sister.
"Come oooooooooooon.. wallah they're nice.."
Hind calling
"Aloooo"
"Mahooy we're downstairs and it's freezing.. get your ass down here ASAP!"
"La la ta3alo fog ba3arefkum 3ala Bandar my brother"
"La Maha yallah bente2a5ar 3ala ilmovie.. yallaaaaaaaaah"
"Just for a sec please please"
"Ufff tara mb 3ashanech bs la2ana I'm freezing and can't stay down here any longer"
"Hahah 6ayeb yallah I'm waiting"
A few minutes later the doorbell rang..
"Bandar please open the door"
"7aaaa'6er ya i5ty il3azeeza"
Bandar walked to the door and looked through the peephole out of habit.. and that was how he fell in love..

"Sir... sir"
"Oh sorry.."
"Sorry sir but we would like your opinion on the new campaign..?"
"Ummm.. yes yes ofcourse"

-------------------------

Maha Calling
"Hi Mahooya!!! I missss u!!"
"I miss you too Sarooo..."
"How's the pregnancy going? How long until Prince 6alal comes?"
"Hahah soon I hope.. I was ready a month ago.. I'm pissed all day long.. Ya Allah I can't control my temper anymore!"
"That's funny, I never recall you controlling your temper before"
"Hahah.. speaking of being pissed.. I'm pissed at Hanood.. she should be thankful that I'm 9 months pregnant and can't travel because if I could I'd come kick her in the head.. What the hell is she doing to my brother?"
"Mahoooy.. she doesn't know he has feelings for her"
"Because she has her head up her ass!! Or she's blind.. but since I'm pregnant and hormonal I like the ass theory better" Maha paused, thinking for a second, "the thing is.. I hate seeing her so sad, she looks tired all the time and she pretends to be happy but sometimes, you look at her and she seems so lost.. and then I look at my brother and the look he has on his face when he's watching her kills me.." Sara listened quietly while Maha continued "You know what she tried to do last time she came to see me in Riyadh? She tried to convince my mum inha te56eb bint 5aalty leBandar!!!"
"WHAT?!" yelled Sara, "You're kidding!?!"
"No I wish I was.. il7amdellah ina Mama knows that Bandar is in love with this mad mad friend of mine and just kept shutting her up by saying inshallah inshallah itha feh na9eeb!"
"Wallah ma a3arf shagoolech Maha..."
"Latgooleely ana.. talk to her.."
"I can't.."
"I know.. anyway.. tell me about YOU? Shlon ilfiance..?"
"Wallah tamam..."
And so the girls continued their conversation while at the back of their minds they kept thinking of their best friend.