Senses.. (30)

It would be the first time he actually visits her at home, she thought nervously as she paced her dressing room, a pile of clothes tried and rejected scattered around her on the floor. She hugged herself as she continued to consider her clothing options, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable. There was something very personal about someone visiting you at home; home is your safe space, where you feel secure and somehow his visit felt like an invasion of her haven. She needed something that would protect her, somewhat like a cocoon shielding her from her feelings for him. She shook her head as she settled on a long dress that covered most of her body and nervously brushed her long hair away from her face, gently slipping into her heels as her maid announced that he was waiting downstairs.

He sat nervously in her living room watching the stairs, waiting for her to descend; he had always wondered what her house looked like, he very much imagined it to be like the house he's in, like her; the house was refined, elegant, attractive without screaming for attention, but always, always drew you in and every time you looked at a specific corner you would notice a new exquisite detail you had missed before.

He was startled when she actually did walk in, lost in his thoughts he didn't notice her walking down the stairs. He took in a deep breath as he looked at her properly, it had been a while since he'd seen her without her abaya, he had forgotten how she made his heart beat. She was not the most beautiful woman he'd seen, but there was something about her that drove him crazy, he could never put his finger on it, but she had a face that he enjoyed staring at, particularly her eyes, it was the first thing anyone would notice in her face.

'Hi..'
'Hi..' he mumbled standing up nervously, 'I'm not sure what the protocol is, can I kiss your cheek?'
'I'd rather you don't' she replied sitting down on the sofa next to his, 'tefa'6al,' she said handing him the glass of juice the maid brought in, 'so.. you said you wanted to talk?' she felt her heart beating in her ears as she feigned indifference, she was dying to know what he wanted to say, did he come to break up with her?
'Umm.. yeah.. I'm not sure how to start..'
'It's ok Fahad.. we said we'll break up in two months.. so..'
'What are you talking about?'
'Isn't that why you're here?'
'Not at all.. Nouf, I would never break up with you, why would you think that? I have been torturing myself, everyday, trying to find ways to make you tolerate me, trying and hoping that this farce of an engagement could trigger something in you, something that would remind you of how we were and that you would consider me as a potential husband, really, not just.. not just this.. whatever it is..'
'I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt this way.'
'No you knew.. but never mind, I know what I want, and I want you. You, I don't know, I think you have not made your mind up about me, I don't know where to go from here..'
'Is that what you came for? You want me to tell you all is well and lets go ride into the sunshine?'
'I would love for you to say that, although I'm pretty sure you never would, even if you did in the future forgive me, you would always hold what I did over my head,' she tried to interrupt him and defend herself, 'no wait, let me finish Nouf, I was gonna say that it's ok, I deserve it, what I did was unforgivable, I think I would've killed you if the situation was reversed, not that you would ever do anything like that, you barely let me touch your hair.. anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I love you and I would do anything for you. I understand that I put you in an awkward position with this engagement, and the reason why I'm here is, well.. it seems like I'm gonna make things a bit more awkward for you..'
'What do you mean?'
'My mother and your mother seem to have agreed that it's time for us to get married..'
'Excuse me?'
'Ummy tgool lazem namlech.. and your mother agreed, now the dates have not been set yet, but I heard talk about next week..'
'I can't believe this. We were supposed to break up next week..'
He felt his heart twist with pain when she said that, he was hoping that she wouldn't go through with it, that she would consider giving him another chance and perhaps extend their engagement period a bit longer to hopefully resolve things. He knew deep down that they would never get a happily ever after, but he was willing to fight for her, to convince her that even though their story was not a fairy tale, it was still a worthy love story.
'I'm sorry' he said getting up, 'I just wanted to give you a heads up' he started walking away and she grabbed his hand,
'Wait.. what are we going to do?'
'It's your decision Nouf. I leave it to you, I've said it before and I'll say it again, nothing would make me happier than being your husband, you have to decide if you want to be my wife.'