Senses.. (29)

'Fahad yumma?'
'Labaih yumma'
'Labait rabek 7abeeby.. Fahad.. shlonek ma3a Nouf?'
He sat up straighter on the couch he was relaxing on after lunch, it's been a few days since his conversation with her and he hadn't heard much from her side, he decided it was best that he left her alone for some time, he didn't want to pressure her into anything,
'il7amdilla yumma, laish?'
'La bas ma achoofek tkalemha, ma tmer 3alaiha, ya3ny.. bs be'3ait a3arf int merta7 ma3aha..'
'Ee il7amdilla, wayed merta7 bas t3arfeen i7na nchoof ba3a'6 kelyoum fe ildawam..'
'Ee.. Allah ywafgkum inshallah..'
He could tell his mother had more to say, she just needed an opportunity to say it, he wasn't sure he really wanted to hear what she had to say, he knew from Dana that she had seen his future mother in law and his bride to be at a wedding yesterday, perhaps she had sensed her discomfort with him. He continued his pretend concentration on the TV screen in front of him while he felt his mother's eyes on his face, he finally sighed, giving in and turned around to face her, as soon as he did that..
'Fahad yumma'
'Na3am ya um Fahad'
'Ya3ny ana agool, sar lekum akthar min shahar ma56oobeen..'
'Ee..' he could sense where this conversation was going and he wasn't sure whether or not he liked it.
'Ee ya3ny, int mithel ma gelt, teshte'3el ma3a Nouf, o ana 3endi bint o ma ar'6a 3ala banat ilnas, o maby 7ad yetkalam 3alaiha..'
'Ok..'
'Fa ana o ubook ngool lazem temlechoon, ya3ny int merta7 ma3aha o ilbint ma betlagy a7san minha, o into mub 9'3ar, mafy da3y t6awloon il5e6ba'
'Ee bas i7na metafgeen ilmelcha gabel il3ers..'
'Mafeeha shay, n'3ayer iletefag, a9lan umha lame7at ams youm cheftha, o mub 3adla ya3ny. 5ala9 3azzem o namlech inshallah ilesboo3 ilyay.'

His mother had left nothing more to say, he had to admit to himself that part of him would kill to make that happen, but part of him was scared that this would be the thing that would make his fiancee hate him even more.

****

'I don't know Manal, so I told you the whole story and about his sister. I won't lie, I still do love him but I really can't trust him, I feel that the moment I give in, and agree to be his wife he will feel suffocated again and will sabotage the relationship'
She was lying in bed talking to her friend, after a long evening last night, acting like the dutiful daughter in law with his mother. She actually loved his family but hated lying to them and pretending like she was looking forward to her own wedding to Fahad every time his mother whispered something in her ear about her marriage to her son.
'You're being too dramatic, he's shown you all signs of commitment, he practically begged you to give him a chance, he's super attentive, he stares at you like a lost puppy, I really don't know what more you need. He would never sabotage your relationship.'
'I need confidence in his love. I lost that, and he would, he did once before, he didn't say it but I felt that he meant to say that I suffocated him before, what if I do that again?'
'I don't think you would, you're both older, you have your own life now so not everything will revolve around him, nor should it. Plus now he knows how it feel to lose you, so I doubt he would jeopardise the relationship'
'I don't know why it's so difficult'
'Love is not supposed to be easy, and you do love him'
'Why not? It should be simple, straightforward..'
'That would be too boring, plus if love were that simple people would fall in and out of love everyday'
'You think so?'
'Sure.. I think everyone has one or two great loves in their lives, sometimes you're lucky and you meet them at the right time, sometimes you're not and you meet them either too early or too late. I think in your case, you met him too early but you're very lucky, because your having a second chance with your one great love. Listen, this is an opportunity because you're walking in to this with your eyes wide open, you both know each other's flaws, you know what to avoid what not to do, plus he's giving you space and time to think. And Noof, he really loves you, the way he looks at you, is sometimes painful to watch'
'Why?'
'Because.. when a man like him falls, he falls hard..'
'You know, sometimes I feel that is the problem, I feel that when love is so passionate, so all consuming and great, then it's not meant to be, it just makes you miserable rather than making you happy. We should be happy'
'You're making you miserable, I know he can make you happy..'
'I don't know.. anyway I think I need to take a nap, I'm exhausted.. I'll talk to you later'
Just as she closed her eyes and started to drift into a light sleep she felt her phone vibrate with a message from him,

Fahad: We need to talk, can I come over tonight?