Senses.. (28)

‘Can I hold your hand?’

‘Please don’t’

‘Why not?’

‘Because it hurts’

‘Touching you hurts?’

‘No, the feeling I get in my heart is what hurts.’

‘Nouf..’

‘You touched her with the same hand’

‘Nouf..’

‘Can you deny it?’

‘No. Unfortunately I can’t, I wish I could.’

'I wish I never met you.. in London I mean.. I wish I met you here.. now.. with a fresh heart.. no history'

'No. I'm glad I met you when I did, because when I lost you, I don't know, it made me realise that I had a good thing, no a great thing.'

'I walked away but you never followed, I think that in itself hurt me more than the betrayal of you with.. with her'

'Honestly? I wanted to, but I really didn't know what to say, I still don't know what to say..'

'Why Fahad?' she whispered,

'I can give you a hundred reasons, but they're all silly, all stupid. Dana was in a car accident, she was in surgery that day.. and I don't know.. I guess somehow.. God I can't even say it I sound like an ass even to myself.. I knew that if I told you, you would be concerned and worried and the perfect girlfriend and I.. I don't know.. I just needed to forget at that point..'

'I don't know how to respond to that.. really.. I'm glad she's fine now..'

'Thanks, well she wasn't, for a long time, she struggled a lot with physiotherapy and surgeries, but yeah she's ok now.. Again, what happened that night was no excuse.'

'No, no it really isn't Fahad. I can't look at you right now' she said slowly as she got up, 'can I leave now?'

'Nouf,' he whispered, grabbing her hand. She felt every drop of her blood boiling inside her body,

'Please Fahad, please.. don't touch me.. not now.. all I can see is you and her together..' she whispered, her tears drowning her face, 'I'm not mad at you anymore, I'm just hurt, I need time to digest this again..'

'Nouf..'

'I'll call you Fahad, I need my space now..'

He nodded, as he let go and watched her walk out of his office.