What if.. (8)

Hind opened her eyes slowly and squinted against the light coming through her windows, she picked up her phone which was lying next to her on the bed and looked at the screen:

1 missed call Bandar.

She dialled the number and waited for his voice to come through the other side.
"Aloo"
"Hello Hello" she sang to him,
"Haha ashofek rayga ilyoum?"
"Eeee I had a loooong sleep... sha5barek?"
"I'm ok.. so no dreams?" He tried to make the question sound normal but he was afraid that she could hear the stress in his voice.
"Ela! I had a great dream" she said laughing,
"5air inshallah?" he was now even more worried,
"I dreamt that I was in London o ga3da fe baitkum eating humming bird cupcakes with you, o ba3dain wadaitny sumosan o kalna black cod o 7alaina thak ilweird green cake ily a7eba!"
"Hahah o inty dayem hamek 3ala ba6nek?".. "Il7imdilla.." he thought to himself.
"Ufff.. ilsharha 3alay ily I shared my dream with you!"
"6ayeb 6ayeb.. I need to talk to you about something.." He paused for a second.. "I'm coming to Doha today, can I see you?" he held his breath waiting for her answer.
"Hmm.. my parents msafreen.. o 7ata Khaled u5ooy wela chan bagoolek ee.. bs.."
"I don't want to see your parents wala Khaled..a9lan adry ina Khaled msafer..I need to see you" he said quietly.
"Hmm I guess ya3ny madry.."
"Hind.. I have to see you.. I'll book a suite in Sharg hotel, you won't have to walk through the lobby, just come from outside past the pool and spa.."
"Bas Bandar madry mb 7ilwa I come to your room.. lazem ya3ny? tell me on the phone.. shfeek?"
"Hind, I already booked the flight, I'm on my way to the airport, betjeen e wela la?" he was losing his temper, he knew it sounded weird to her but there was no way he could explain on the phone, he had to see her.
"5ala9 ok.. bagool 7ag Saro o benyeek"
"Hind..." he let out a long breath, " Hind.. ana gelt lek ab'3y ashoofek INTY.. wesh da5al Sara?"
"Oh.. I'm getting worried Bandar shfeek?"
"Hind e wela la?"
"ee ee 5ala9 ok.." she laughed nervously, "Shfeek ingelab moodek mara wa7da?"
"La wala shay" he said softly, "5ala9 I'll call you when I reach the hotel."
"Ok, see you"
Hind hung up the phone and dialled Sara's number immediately.
"Haaaaaaaaaa... sh-mushkeltech inty? since when did I appoint you my personal wake up call?"
"Ya kalba.. goomy Saro.. Bandar madry shfeeh"
Sara opened her eyes suddenly, "shfeeh?"
"Madry, he called o kan 3adi ysolef all of a sudden he went all weird o gal ly I'm coming to Doha o I have to see you madry wesho.."
"Weeeeeeeeyh fakart 3endich salfa.. 3adi beyey ildo7a o he'll see you, mub awal mara.."
"eee bs dayman ykoon Khaled hne o he comes to the house yet3asha or whatever.. halmara kalamny o gal lazem he sees me alone o ma5eth suite fe sharg o madry wesho.. lo wa7ed '3air Bandar chan rega3t iltelephone fe wayha!"
"Hahahha e tsaweenha.." Sara frowned as she thought, "ya3ny lazem he acts all romantic and freak her out chethy all of a sudden.."
"Inzain.. shbetlebseen?" asked Sara,
"Shbalbas ya3ny.. ela Bandar.. 3adi"
"ee bs ya3ny mn zeman ma chafach"
"eee.. hahah tethkereen how I had a crush on him awal ma I met him.. o kent kela at3adal gabel ma aroo7 bait'hum in London?"
"Hmm yeah.." replied Sara absent-mindedly.
"Anyway.. yallah let me go to the gym 3ashan yemdeeny arja3 and go meet Bandar"
"Yallah bye 7abeebty.. let me know what happens."
"Ok.. talk to you later"

..................................

Bandar buckled his seat belt as the seat belt sign went on in the airplane's First class cabin, he heard the flight attendent's voice announcing the descent to Doha International Airport and recommending the Four Seasons hotel in Doha. He put his hand in his pocket and fidled around with the maroon box inside, thinking of how he will talk to his Hind.

.................................

Hind was sitting in her car swaying to the music as she navigated her way through the construction on the streets leading to Sharg hotel. Bandar had called her 15 minutes ago telling her that he'd just arrived at the hotel and urging her to hurry up. She smiled as she remembered that she's going to be seeing her friend soon, she hasn't seen him a very long time, so as per Sara's instructions she took care of what she was wearing. She wore a belted black and grey Issa dress with opaque stockings and extra high heels that made her legs look endless, she kept her make up minimum as Bandar never liked too much make up. She frowned as she thought to herself, "since when do I care what Bandar likes?" she laughed this off as she parked her car next to the six senses spa and walked through gardens of Sharg, looking for Bandar's villa number.

.................................

Bandar was pacing his room nervously and looking through his window every few seconds until he saw her, she was walking as quickly as her high heels would let her while holding her abaya half way up her legs, he laughed knowing that she never got used to it and always complained that it made her trip and fall over. He walked down the stairs and opened the villa door watching her as she noticed him, squinting until recognition registered on her face and she smiled her beautiful smile.
"Ahlan ahlan, ya 7ay Allah mn jany"
"Allah y7ayeek..hehe" for the first time in a long time she felt nervous around Bandar, "this is really weird" she thought.."why does it feel like a date?" she followed him up the stairs, her heart beating fast.
"Tefa'6ely.. I already ordered your Diet Coke" he said smiling as she sat on the sofa, he noticed that her hands were shaking so he tried to think of a way to make her relax, even though he was nervous himself.
"Thanks.." he watched her taking off her abaya and brushing her long brown hair with her fingers.
"So.." he said as he led her to the living room, "wesh a5barek..?"
"I'm ok, how are you?" she said watching him, "why am I feeling so weird? yemkin 3ashan mn zeman ma chefta? bs I talk to him every day.. akthar mn ma akalem Maha.. bas I forgot how hot he is!" she thought as she watched the muscles in his forearm rippling when he poured her diet coke in the glass.
"Hmm.. Hind, I told you I need to talk to you about something.." he started,
"ee 5air?" she looked at him, she was really worried about him and she forgot how nervous she felt.
"Hmm.. maneeb 3aref kaif abtedy.. you know that I've been single for a very long time.. have you ever wondered why?"
"ee I did, I always thought ina 3endik 7ad bs ma taby tgool.."
"3endi o ma 3endi.."
"Shlon ya3ny?"
"Ya3ny I've been in love with someone for a very long time bs she doesn't know"
"Mn halhabla ily ma t3arf what she's missing?" she said teasingly.
"You." he watched her face as her smile faded and shock registered on her beautiful face.
"Meen?" she whispered,
"You," he said quietly "From day one.. 8 years ago.. before you even met Sultan.." he saw her wincing when she mentioned Sultan's name, a tear slowly slipping through her long lashes.
"Please say something Hind.." he said as he came up to her and sat on his knees opposite her holding her hands tightly in his own.
"Madry.. Bandar ga3ed te9demny.. 8 years?" she looked at him with so many questions in her eyes, "8 years Bandar?" she repeated, "laish ma gelt shay?"
"You were so young when I met you, you were only 17 and I was 23, akbar menek bktheer.. and you were always so shy around me.. ma kenty tkalmeeny at all.. until you met that person, it's ironic that that was the only time you started relaxing around me.. and then you know what happened.. I guess I didn't want to be the rebound person, so I waited.. until I waited too long and I became your friend.. but you can never be my friend Hind, I love you, I love you, I love you.. and I can no longer not have you in my life.. 5ala9.. it's been long enough.. please say something" he put her cold hands close to his lips and kissed them, "please say something.. please.." he breathed into her hands..
She tried to stand up so he stood before her and pulled her into his arm, breathing in her perfume,
"Hind.. 7abeebty..?"
Suddenly he felt her shaking in his arms.. sobbing..
"I can't Bandar, I can't.." she felt his body go stiff against her, "I can't lose your friendship.. what if this doesn't work out? We won't be friends anymore.. and Maha? what about Maha? Does she know..?"
"Everyone knows.. I love you Hind, laish ma tefhemeen? EVERYONE KNOWS!! ela inty!! You put yourself in your own world and you stopped seeing anything.. you don't see the love I have for you!" he said as he pushed her away, "You're afraid of losing my friendship? guess what? you never had my friendship! You had my love, you always had my love, my heart and my life.. but it seems like that doesn't interest you, so please leave!" he yelled at her, for the first time in her life Bandar yelled at her and she was shocked, she started shaking as she picked up her abaya and hand bag from the sofa. She looked at Bandar as he turned his back to her.
"I always took care of you when you got your heartbroken, but you never knew that you broke my heart everyday" he whispered.
"Band.."
"Please leave, I can't see you now."
"I'm sorry" she whispered between sobs, "I'm so sorry.." she said walking away from him, when she reached the door she looked back on Bandar and saw him sitting on the same sofa she was sitting on earlier with his head between his hands and his whole body shaking..

What if.. (7)

Hind quickly switched the lines from Bandar to Sara,
"Alooo.."
"Hi Hindo.. mn t7acheen hal7azza? 3endich call waiting achoof?" said Sara laughing,
"Weeeyh Saro madry mn ba7achy.. kint a7achy Bandar.."
"Oh.. sha5barah?"
"Madry ma amdany akalmah.. kint tawny meta9lah feh when you called.. kan nayem wa3alaia"
"Haha miskeen.. ya3ny gawamteeh mn ilnoum ba3dain 5alaiteeh ywaly when I called you?"
"6ab3aaan.. kam Saro 3endi?"
"Haha I'm flattered.. miskeen wallah.. 9aaber 3alaich.."
"9aber 3alaay? Laish inshallah? Shemsawya feh?"
"La.. la wala shay" answered Sara with a low voice, thinking of both her friends, she really wanted to help Bandar but didn't know how to.
"T9adgeen madry shkan beygool ly Bandar.. gal ly I need to talk to you.. you think Maha feha shay?"
"He said that?" Sara couldn't believe that Bandar finally found the courage to talk to her friend, "inzain o shgal lech?"
"Nothing, you called o 9akait mina.."
"Hmm.. inzain call him back"
"Laa maly bare'6.. akeed he went back to sleep"
"Hmm.. maybe"

...................

Bandar couldn't go back to sleep, he had to talk to her, he couldn't take it anymore. His mother came to talk to him earlier that evening regarding his marriage, she wanted to see his children she told him, his younger brothers and sister were all married, and his mother was not getting any younger. She told him that she was prepared to talk to Hind's mother today, all he had to do was say ok. Unfortunately that was not all he had to do; how can he explain to his mother that the love of his life sees him only as a friend?

.....................

The next morning Bandar woke up early determined that today he will do something about his situation with Hind.. "what is the worst thing that could happen?" he thought to himself, if she rejects him then it won't make a difference, it will only mean that he never had her, and if she says yes then he will be the happiest person on earth. He decided that he will go see his little sister Maha and talk to her about it,
"9aba7 il5air ya ajmal i5et fe il3alam" said Bandar as he watched his sister wobbling down the stairs,
"Ajmal? Are you sure you're seeing the same thing I saw this morning in the mirror? I no longer recognize my face!!" said Maha as she threw a cushion that missed her brother by a few centimeters, "Shut up!!! It's not funny!!"
Bandar couldn't control his laughter as his sister started crying,
"Shhh it's ok 7abeebty inshallah it'll only be a few days"
"Laaa I saw the Dr. yesterday he said they miscalculated and I still have 3 weeks left"
"Inshallah it'll be ok don't worry" he said as he hugged her and kissed her head,
"Maha I need to talk to you about something.."
"5air 7abeeby?"
"Ams ilwalda jat kalamatny 3an maw'6oo3 Hind" he started,
"Adry galatly.. wesh nawy tsawy?"
"I think I'll talk to her today.."
"Oh my God a5eeeeeeran!!! I'm so happy for you guys.. bs ya wailek if you got married before I lose my pregnancy weight!!"
"Hey hey.. shway shway.. I said I'll talk to her ma gelt ina 5ala9 we're getting married!" he said laughing.. he paused for a while and looked up at his sister, "You think betwafeg? Honestly? Imagine I'm not your brother, do you honestly think she's over that creature that she was so in love with?"
"To be honest I think she's been over him for a long time, but she's not over what he did to her. She's affraid of getting hurt again.. you remember what she went through, it was traumatic."
"Yes but she knows I would never hurt her.."
"Which is why I'm sure she'll say yes"
"Allah yesma3 minik" he said smiling.
After teasing his sister for another hour about her pregnancy bump, and rehearsing how he will start the conversation with Hind, Bandar left his sister's house with a smile on his face.. he hasn't felt this good about something in a very very long time..
"If she says yes.. If only she says yes.." he thought to himself, "I will take care of her, I will make her forget all the pain she's been through before."

What if.. (6)

Ayaam 7ilwa.. kanat ayam 7ubik.. kint fe roo7y tasry.. kint bejnoon a7ebek..

Hind sat on her bed with her laptop shopping online for nothing in particular with Nawal playing on her iTunes. Listening to the song Hind sighed and started remembering her love story with Sultan. When they first met everything was perfect, they seemed to be the perfect couple, he knew what she was thinking before she even realised it, he completed her sentences, he pushed her to study harder.. in her eyes he made her a better person. She smiled as she remembered the countless times he told her to study, that her education is important, that she had her future in her hand, and that she can either make or break her life.. she remembered how she used to tease him that he sounded like her father.. and she remembered how he told her that he only said these things because he loves her..

She also remembered how much she suffered when he left.

............................

Sultan was a final year student while she was just starting university when they met, they fell in love quickly during that year. By the summer Sultan told her that he wanted to go to the US to finish his postgrad studies, he'd gotten a scholarship from UAE and had to go to New York in a month's time. She was devastated but there was nothing she could do.. he bluntly told her that his future means too much to him and that he will always be there for her.. she trusted him.. She was there in the airport saying good bye with a big fake smile on her face and he promised he will call her as soon as he reaches New York. Hind went back home from Heathrow and counted the hours until his BA flight reached New York.. She started getting worried when 3 hours after the flight has landed Sultan had not even sent her a message. Her friends comforted her telling her that akeed uhwa mash'3ool.. tawa wa9el balad yedeed o ila ma 6ela3 lah shay ysaweeh.. Those excuses worked for the first two days, by the third day Hind was going mad, her friends had no more excuses for Sultan..she no longer slept, she couldn't eat, she wept hysterically all day and had no way of contacting him except by flooding his email with "Wainik? I'm really worried". This continued for 2 weeks when finally Sultan sent her an email telling her that because of the time difference, he had been very busy and constantly tired, therefore please call the flat number that he added at the bottom of the email. Hind frantically dialled the number and after several failed attempts an American woman answered, when she asked her about Sultan the answer she got was "Oh you mean the old tenant.. He just moved out.." Hind couldn't believe that this was her Sultan.. he wouldn't do this to her.. lazem feh shay, so she continued the emails, finally he sent her his mobile number.. after 3 months of suffering, by that time Hind had wasted away.. she existed on anti-anxiety medications. The final conversation they had marked the point where Hind started blaming herself for the way the relationship was ended. She'd been calling him for 2 days and he didn't answer, when he finally did she decided that they had to have an honest talk.. Hind still remembered the painful conversation..
"Aloo"
"Hala"
"Shlonik 7abeeby?"
"B5air.. sh7alich?"
"I'm good" after a long pause.. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong? Nothing.. inty shfeech you call wara ba3a'6? feh shay?"
"Laish tkalemny chethy?"
"Shlon tabeeny akalmech?"
"Tarak mub ma'39oob.. itha ma taby tkalemny it's fine.."
"Ok.. Fine.."
And he hung up..

.......................

With a tear falling down her cheek Hind stopped Nawal's sweet voice..

"What if I didn't say that sentence?" Hind still blamed herself for that conversation.. she felt that this was what made him call her friend and break up with her in that way.. "I was once happy.. bs il7imdilla 3ala kel 7al.. atleast I had friends who helped through all that shit.." she thought to her self. She smiled as she remembered how hard her friends worked to make her laugh, especially during the first year after the break up, when all her nightmares started. She dreaded falling asleep, she dreaded the dream where she saw Sultan walking away from her, but the dream she was afraid of the most was the happy dream, when Sultan would call her and tell her that he loved her, it terrified her because she knew that when she woke up she would realise that it was all a dream, and that Sultan was no longer a part of her life.

Hind shook her head and smiled, remembering her friends and how they always stood by her, especially Bandar. She picked up her phone and dialled number 2 on her speed dial,

"Aloo" answered Bandar in a husky voice.
"Oh sorry int nayem.. 5ala9 I'll call you tomorrow"
"La la maneeb nayem.. ana 3alashanek ansa ilnoum"
"Hahah Bandar 3an il3ayara"
"Hehe tell me.. what's wrong?"
"Why would there be anything wrong ya3ny? Can't a girl call her friend bas chethy?" she answered teasingly.
"Ela.. bs mo inty" he laughed
"Hahah ok ma3alaih.. la bs I just wanted to say that I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life"
Bandar went quiet for a few seconds, then said "Hind there's something I need to tell you.."
"What is it?"
"I..."
"Ooooh akee Saro's calling.. let me call you back yallah bye.."
"But.."
Bandar stared at his phone while the line went dead.

What if.. (5)

Bandar sat in the board room lost in his thoughts, playing around with his pen..
"Sir" the marketing manager looked at his boss, "Sir, excuse me"
Bandar was sitting in the room but his thoughts took him to the day he met Hind.

8 years ago.. London

"Bandar pleaaaaase I really want you to meet my friends" said Maha
"Galolek ana fa'6eeelek inty o your friends.. yallah.. yallah" said Bandar, playfully throwing a pillow at his sister.
"Come oooooooooooon.. wallah they're nice.."
Hind calling
"Aloooo"
"Mahooy we're downstairs and it's freezing.. get your ass down here ASAP!"
"La la ta3alo fog ba3arefkum 3ala Bandar my brother"
"La Maha yallah bente2a5ar 3ala ilmovie.. yallaaaaaaaaah"
"Just for a sec please please"
"Ufff tara mb 3ashanech bs la2ana I'm freezing and can't stay down here any longer"
"Hahah 6ayeb yallah I'm waiting"
A few minutes later the doorbell rang..
"Bandar please open the door"
"7aaaa'6er ya i5ty il3azeeza"
Bandar walked to the door and looked through the peephole out of habit.. and that was how he fell in love..

"Sir... sir"
"Oh sorry.."
"Sorry sir but we would like your opinion on the new campaign..?"
"Ummm.. yes yes ofcourse"

-------------------------

Maha Calling
"Hi Mahooya!!! I missss u!!"
"I miss you too Sarooo..."
"How's the pregnancy going? How long until Prince 6alal comes?"
"Hahah soon I hope.. I was ready a month ago.. I'm pissed all day long.. Ya Allah I can't control my temper anymore!"
"That's funny, I never recall you controlling your temper before"
"Hahah.. speaking of being pissed.. I'm pissed at Hanood.. she should be thankful that I'm 9 months pregnant and can't travel because if I could I'd come kick her in the head.. What the hell is she doing to my brother?"
"Mahoooy.. she doesn't know he has feelings for her"
"Because she has her head up her ass!! Or she's blind.. but since I'm pregnant and hormonal I like the ass theory better" Maha paused, thinking for a second, "the thing is.. I hate seeing her so sad, she looks tired all the time and she pretends to be happy but sometimes, you look at her and she seems so lost.. and then I look at my brother and the look he has on his face when he's watching her kills me.." Sara listened quietly while Maha continued "You know what she tried to do last time she came to see me in Riyadh? She tried to convince my mum inha te56eb bint 5aalty leBandar!!!"
"WHAT?!" yelled Sara, "You're kidding!?!"
"No I wish I was.. il7amdellah ina Mama knows that Bandar is in love with this mad mad friend of mine and just kept shutting her up by saying inshallah inshallah itha feh na9eeb!"
"Wallah ma a3arf shagoolech Maha..."
"Latgooleely ana.. talk to her.."
"I can't.."
"I know.. anyway.. tell me about YOU? Shlon ilfiance..?"
"Wallah tamam..."
And so the girls continued their conversation while at the back of their minds they kept thinking of their best friend.

What if.. (4)

7 years ago.. London

Hind woke up with a start. The door bell was ringing incessantly.
"Men beyeeny mn il9eb7" thought Hind as she got up from her bed, she walked out to the corridor and looked through the screen showing the building's entrance,
"oh it's Maha" she buzzed her in and went to get changed leaving the flat door open. Maha walked in carrying a paper bag and 2 coffees.
"Good morning ya 7ilwa"
"Ay good morning Mahooy.. I've been calling Sul6an for the past week o ma ga3ed yred 3alay.. wallah I'm so worried I can't sleep ya3ny ma 9arat halfight.. it wasn't even a fight it was just me being silly"
"Sit down Hindo" said Maha.
"Shfeech 5ara3teeny? Feekum shay? Your family are all ok?"
"Eee ma feena shay, just sit down have something to eat.."
"La mashtehy I'll just have the coffee.. so tell me sh9ayer?"
"Well.. I dont know how to say this to you.. but Sul6an called me yesterday and.."
"He called you? Why would he call you? Is he ok? Why isn't he returning my calls? Akeed feh shay.. I thought so uhwa.."
"Hind calm down 5aleeny a5ale9 kalamy"
"Ok.."
"Sul6an called me last night to ask me to tell you to stop calling him"
"You're LYING" she screamed
"Hind calm down 7abeebty" she said as she tried to hug her friend, "calm down 7abeebty you know I'd never lie to you" Hind was sobbing into her friend's neck and Maha couldn't stop her tears from falling on to her friend's head.
"Shhhhh 7abeebty it's ok.. it's ok.. ma yestahal kel hatha"
"But... but.." said Hind between her sobs, "but he promised.." she stopped while gasping for air, "he said.. he said.. he'll come see me.. he was packing that day.." Hind covered her face with her hands and kept sobbing, "I booked his hotel, he booked the tickets he was flying all the way from New York.. what happened? Why? and why didn't HE tell me? I can't believe this"
"He said he can't explain and that it was a family thing, basically it's not you it's him"
"Bas..? As simple as that? All his promises are gone? How can he do this Maha? He can't, I can't, I can't be without him..he's my everything"
"Wallah inah ma yestahlek"
"You don't understand.. you don't.. he's.. I can't.. I can't be.. he.. I saw a life with him.. I didn't hope.. I didn't imagine.. I SAW it.. and he knows.. he knows.."
"Shhhh 7abeebty it's ok.. it's ok.."
Hind sank into the sofa and kept staring blankly at her friend, the coffee getting cold in front of her.

A year ago she met Sul6an, it was their first month in London, Hind and Sara were feeling homesick and depressed, and wherever they'd go he would be there, his face lit up whenever he saw her. After one month of seeing her everywhere he finally came up to her and introduced himself. She was sitting with Sara in Starbucks on High Street Ken with their laptops and big mugs of hot chocolate.
"Hi, my name is Sultan, I'm from Dubai" she looked up from her laptop and raised one eyebrow,
"And you're telling me this because..?"
"Haha" he laughed nervously, "Ok umm.. you look Arabic and so am I.. umm.. since we're both in London I thought it would be nice to talk to someone in Arabic.. for a change.."
"I don't see you introducing yourself to that Egyptian gentleman over there? He's Arabic too believe it or not" she said sarcastically.
"Umm.. ok.. yes you have a point.. sorry for bothering you"
Hind just looked at him then turned to her laptop screen as a signal that the conversation has ended.
"Hahahahahahah Hanood that was so funny! I can't believe you did that to the poor guy!" said Sara as she watched Sultan walking back to his seat.
"5aywaly.. yay yesta3be6 3alay.. you look Arabic ygool.. i7lef bas?!"
"Shut up I'm gonna go invite him for coffee"
"Sarooooo!! ma teste7een?!!"
"La ma aste7y" she said as she got up sticking her tongue out at Hind.
Hind looked at her friend over her shoulder, watching how easily Sara introduced herself and started chatting with the guy.
"He's not bad looking actually" thought Hind, "Well too skinny for my taste, but tall and his face was hmm.. well intersting"

After that day Sultan became part of the girls' group and slowly Hind and Sultan became inseparable, he was the person that completed her.. he was her soulmate.

What if..(3)

Bandar Calling
“Haaaaaaaaaa? She called you telling you about the dream?” said Sara laughing.
“No, I was stupid enough to call HER!”
“Hahahaha.. you guys are so funny”
“What’s funny Sara? I’m 31 years old, how long do you think I can wait for her?”
“Wait for what Bandar? She doesn’t know you’re waiting for her” said Sara, “listen, she’s put herself in this dark place and..”
“Yes yes I know I know, I’m the only one who can get her out of it” he stopped and let out a long breath, “Sara you know I love her, from the first day I met her o ana I LOVE HER. You know, my sister knows, my family knows, everyone I know knows!!! Laish hy she DOESN’T!?”
“Asta’3ferallah” 
“Yes, we’re back to the she’s put herself in a dark place story”
“That’s unfair Bandar”
“Adry, but I’m pissed”
“Don’t ask me to talk to her”
“I won’t. I was talking to Maha yesterday..”
“And?”
“She thinks it’s time I move on”
“Nooooooooo Bandar..”
“I know.. I can’t even if I wanted to.. But she has a point.. I’ve been waiting for Hind for 8 years.. 7 of them I spent hoping that she will get over that idiot that broke her heart”
“You know that what happened wasn’t easy”
“And you think that what I’m going through is?”
“No..”
“Hmmm.. Allah Kareem. 5ala9 ana akalmek ba3dain”
“Shbetsawy?”
“Fe aish?”
“Hind..”
“The usual.. nothing..”
“ok.. Salem 3ala Maha”
“Yebla’3 inshallah”
She hung up the phone.. “Habla Hanood” she thought to herself.

What if.. (2)

“Uff.. I’m late as usual.. Elleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen where is the coal for my 3ood?”
“Comiiiing comiiing”
Hind put the 3ood on the burning coal and stood over it while she adjusted her abaya.
She ran down the stairs, her car waiting for her in front of the gate.
“Besmilla” she said turning on the AC and heading out to work. While driving she felt her phone vibrating in her handbag.
Bandar Calling
“Aloooo”
“9aba7 il5air ya gamar”
“Hahah ay gamar awal il9eb7.. 9aba7 ilnoor.. shlonik?”
“Tamam.. inty kaifek? Late as usual?”
“Eeee I dreamt of you know who” she said pouting
“hmm I’m guessing it was the bad dream”
“yes” she said quietly. Bandar was technically one of her best friend’s brothers; Maha her friend was Saudi and they met while they were all studying in London. Bandar was doing his PhD at that time while Maha was just starting her BA with Hind and Sara, after they finished their bachelors Maha decided that she’s had enough of London, while Sara and Hind wanted to continue their post grad studies, after Maha left the girls found Bandar to be somewhat of a replacement for his sister and became very close to him.. they never understood why he actually spared so much of his time, considering he was one of the guys ily kel banat London 7a6een 3ainhum 3alaih.
“any way… sha5bar Mahooya?”
“wallah il7amdlela.. very busy getting ready for the baby”
“Awww.. I wish I can come see her”
“You should.. you know she needs all the support she can get, she’s exhausted fighting off that mean sister-in-law”
“eee miskeena.. I hope that if I EVER get married akoon best friends m3 my sister-in-law” she said with a sad smile.
“Inshallah..” he said quietly, “anyway.. ana a5aleek.. I have a meeting to go to”
“But I didn’t tell you about my dream!”
“No need, I already know everything.. bye” and he hung up.
Hind stared at the phone.
“Shfeh ilyoum mn il9eb7” she shrugged her shoulders and parked her car to start a day at work.

What if.. (1)

قال صلى الله عليه وسلم : ( وإن أصابك شيء فلا تقل : لو أني فعلت كان كذا وكذا , ولكن قل : قدر الله , وما شاء فعل ; فإن لو تفتح عمل الشيطان ) 

People always wonder "what if.." and imagine how their life would go if they actually got what they wished for, but as they say "be careful what you wish for"

"Besmilla... a3ootho bellah mn ilshai6an"
Hind woke up, her body feeling sweaty and cold, she looked around her, it was still dark out side. Sighing, she picked up her phone to look at the time.
"Taw ilnas 3ala ildawam.. uff.."
She dialed no. 1 on her speed dial.
"Haaaaaaaa...?"
"Sarooo..."
"Uff Hindo, you wake me up at 3 am on a working day.. you better tell me it's something new"
"No.. it's not" said Hind slowly, "You know you're the only one I can talk to"
"No Hanood, I'm the only one who actually picks up the bloody phone at 3 am.. So tell me.. what was it?"
"The bad dream Saro"
Sara could hear the sadness in her best friend's voice, they were practically sisters. Sara and Hind met in highschool, constantly fought for the first two years and then all of a sudden became inseperable and no one knew how.
"Inzain gooly sh9ar?"
"Abad, the usuall.. he saw me and walked away"
"Te3awethy mn iblees.. goomy igry Qur'aan o rej3y namy bokra warana dawam"
"Yeah you're right, I have a long day tomorrow."
"5ala9 yallah, will we meet at lunch?"
"Madry bakalmech fe ildawam o benchoof"
"5air inshallah"
She hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling thinking to her self, "it's been 7 years, when will I get over him?"

My friend..

Something about you makes me smile, your good mornings, your voice, even your name.. you warned me when we first met, that I will fall in love with you, I laughed, I called you conceited and arrogant, but now I know that I was the arrogant one, thinking I was too smart to fall in love; too smart to fall in love with someone who would never love me back.

I smile for you a hundred smiles my friend, the I love you smile when you're not looking, the I miss you smile when I see you after a long time, the I don't care smile when you tell me about a new crush and the most painfully sad smile, when I look at myself in the mirror every night and admit that I love the one I cannot have.

Should I tell you that I love you my friend? You scare me, you confuse me, I feel lost with you and I feel more lost without you. I feel so many different things at the same time when I'm with you, love, hate, pride, fear, sadness, happiness; I'm a combination of conflicting feelings all wrestling inside me and I don't know what to do.

Tell me my friend, what would you do?

Looking Back..

"What are you thinking of?"
"Nothing.."
"Come on.."
"I'm thinking.. no.. I was wishing for something.."
"What?"
"I was wishing that I could turn back time.."
He sighed, his hands gripping hers tighter,
"Would you still love me?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yes"
"If I knew what I know now, if I knew that you would leave me, that you would break my heart, that I would suffer without you, that I would pray for you and wait for you.. that I would lose you.."
"I'm sorry.."
"Yes, I would still love you, with every part of my being I would love you.. but I would cherish you more, I would experience more, I would see more.. I would even love you more, if that was physically possible..because I would know that my time with you is not infinate, that someone else owns this time, someone else is coming after me, someone more permanent.."
"I want you to be my permanent"
"I'm not meant for you.."
"I'm only me with you.."
"You have someone else.."
"I have nothing without you.. we can continue yesterday.."
"You already have a today, and she has your tomorrow.."
"Then be my future.."
"Maybe someone else is my furture.. but you will always be my best yesterday.. the most beautiful day in my life.."