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Hello, My name is.. (33)


Dear Diary,
I practically carried Fa6oom all the way back home from the hospital. As soon as we reached home she went into bed and kept crying silently. I went into her room and snuggled in bed next to her,
"Fa6oom 7abeebty.. I know this is tough bas please stop crying, you're only hurting yourself"
"Magdar Noor" she shook her head, "magdar ya3ny chefty shkanat tgool. What can I say? I can't say no to her and yet.. you saw how he reacted when he saw me. He hates me. He hates me and he has every right to, I let him down and now I'm here to watch his wife die. What was I thinking going there? I should'nt have listened to S3ood."
"Maybe, but now you're here and you saw her. Can you honestly say no to that woman? She kept saying she's not an angel, but in all honesty.. she's as close as you can get."
"Yeah" she whispered, "but.." and she closed her eyes, "I don't know, I really don't know. My head is throbbing, I feel dizzy."
"That's because you haven't eaten anything since yesterday. Let's order something for now. I need to go to the supermarket ilbait 5aly"
And her phone started ringing, S3ood was calling her, he was downstairs and wanted to know the flat number so he could come up. As soon as the door bell rang I opened the door and let him in, he came carrying bags from the lebanese restaurant nearby as if he could read our minds.
"I knew that you wouldn't have eaten anything on the plane so I brought some food with me"
"Thanks S3ood" she said as she hugged him, I stood at the living room door watching the two of them as they emptied the paper bags on to the dining table. I could tell from the way he was talking to her that he's a caring person, he's a good guy like she said, then why the hell does he treat me like shit?
We sat down quietly at the dining table eating our lunch, each one of us lost in their private thoughts. After we finished I quickly cleared the table and put everything in the kitchen, while Fa6ma and S3ood sat on the couch whispering. All of a sudden Fa6ma started crying again,
"S3ood please.. Allah y5aleek, wallah I can't.."
"Fa6ma he needs you"
"S3ood ma chefta. Ma cheft shlon he yelled at me, ask Noor! Allah yer'6a 3alaik lat5aleeny aroo7 hnak mara thanya" she said holding both his hands in her tiny hands and begging him with her eyes.
"Fa6ma if it was up to me I wouldn't put you through this, but 3alya is right, he has been carrying so much alone for so long, when she does.. go.. he will collapse. He will need someone to pick up the pieces and you Fa6ma are the only one who can"
"I can't S3ood wallah I can't 7aram 3alaikum ir7emoony"
"Fa6ma.. it's up to you," he said getting up, "I can't force you to do something you don't want to do, but for once in your life te7amely mas2ooleya. You know how much I care about you, o Allah ye3lam ina '3alach mn '3ala 5awaty, but you have always been afraid of commitment and you have always let him down when he needed you, while never once did he leave you when you needed him. Even after his engagement, when I was still in DC, he used to call me a few times every day just to check up on you and see if you were ok. I never told you this because he didn't want you to know, but now you have to know. Prove to him for once that his feelings for you were deserved. I know I'm being harsh but I'm not in a situation that allows me to sugarcoat it for you. We're running out of time. This is the truth, and now I have to go pick up my mother from the airport. I'll expect you in the hospital in 2 hours."
"S3ood please don't make me go.." she sobbed, "Int ma sema3t shlon kalamny!"
"No, but 3alya did, and he won't do it again trust me. So I'll see you there later"
"S3ood.. please.."
"Fa6ma I think he's right, this is something you have to do, it's not an option." I said looking at her,
"Thank you," he said with a soft smile, "please come with her, she needs your support, I heard you told off my brother?"
I blushed when I remembered the way I yelled at him, "I'm sorry about that.. but.."
"No need to be sorry, he needed that. Anyway, I'll see u later," he said kissing my sister on her head and walking out of the flat.
Fa6ma's now getting ready and we'll leave to the hospital in 10 minutes. Allah Yaster.
Until next time..

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