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Hello, My name is.. (26)


Dear Diary,
My family is still here, and I think we're drifting back to our old selves, which to be honest is what I'm used to, but it's not bad as it used to be, not yet anyway. Old habits die hard. But honestly it's not so bad, am I just saying this to convince myself? Maybe.. but that's my family and that's what I'm used to. Atleast now I know they care, I guess they just don't know how to show it. They're still here but dad started working and my mum met some friends of hers and is busy with them. I don't mind. Atleast Fa6oom and I became much closer, that's the good thing I got out of all this I guess. I love having her here really.
Yesterday the weirdest thing happened, I walked in on my friends and they all literally just went quiet. It was so obvious they were talking about me, but come on ya3ny atleast try to hide it! They all guiltily looked at each other and avoided even looking at me, so I yelled at them,
"God do you guys think I'm stupid? It's SO obvious that you guys were talking about me and you just shut up when I came in, do you want me to leave so you can continue your gossip session?"
"Nooro 7abeebty.." Juju started,
"Oh God, don't give me that. Ya3ny what the hell were you talking about?" Again they all just looked at each other, "Ya Allah I can't believe it, can you guys just spill? Why do you all look like you're trying to tell me that my favourite pet died?"
Dana walked up to me and hugged me,
"Noor I'm so sorry but I talked to Ahmed."
"Why would you do that?" I felt my heart twisting with pain, it's obviously bad or they would've told me the second I walked in, "I asked you not to do that.." I continued, I felt the tears rushing to my eyes.
"I know but I thought that he was just being an idiot and.."
"And? What did you find out?"
"Well.. Noor wallah I'm sorry bs he says that maybe it's for the best that you guys broke up because it won't work out anyway..you come from different backgrounds and that he liked you because you were a novelty which started to wear off"
"So we broke up? Hahah I didn't know that.." It felt weird, I stopped crying, he doesn't deserve my tears, he's the one who let me down, so I'm the one who should be happy, right?
"Noor wallah I'm sorry."
"No Dana I'm sorry.. I'm sorry I dragged you into all this, I know he's your friend but do you mind if from now on we don't mention him? And if we do, can we only do it when we're making fun of him? Nothing positive?"
"Hahahah I love you wallah, no I don't mind, bel3aks I'll bring you info about him that you can mock, would that be ok?"
"Yes, thank you" I said hugging her. And then all my 5 friends hugged me, we spent the rest of the night in our pyjamas in Juju's flat watching movies and pigging out. I love my friends, don't know what I would've done without them.
This morning Fa6oom and I went out for breakfast, we were sitting in a small cafe next to my flat, and I was telling her about what happened with Ahmed,
"5al eywaly wallah msawyatlah ras! He didn't stand by you at the first problem you had.. and what's with you being a novelty? Shino ya3ny? Alien? My god if you cry over him I will slap you so hard bagleb wayhech!"
"Hahahah ya 7mara, I didn't cry over him, do you see me crying?"
"No bs achoofech tesre7een sa3at.. don't think I don't notice, I've been there I know how a broken heart looks like"
"Really? Tell me.."
"La it was a long time ago"
"Hahah ya3ny inty ba3ad mub hayna"
"Haha ee ya3ny I lived in DC for four years, shetfakreen I was doing there?" she said winking, haha I love my sister, "but seriously Nooro, ma yestahel. Ya3ny I can't even classify it as a relationship, how long did it last? Two months? And what's with him being jealous of that guy, what's his name? Ohhh my GOD S3ooooooood!!!"
"Yeah S3ood" except my sister was no longer talking to me, she was jumping off her seat waving at the tall guy in the black leather jacket standing a few meters behind me.
Oh Shit.
S3ood. My S3ood. Can I say he's my S3ood? Oh well this is my diary I can say whatever I want.
My sister jumped off her seat and ran to S3ood hugging him, he started laughing and hugged her back, I looked over my shoulder watching them, they obviously know eachother very well, they were talking and laughing, then I saw them walking towards me, oh god, I don't think I can face him, I look like shit. Wait why do I care how I look like?
"Hi" Ya Allah his voice, my sister was standing next to him her arm in his, with a huge grin on her face,
"S3ood, this is my sister" she said gesturing towards me with her free hand,
"Noora, 9a7?" oh my God his smile, well not really smile, he had this type of sarcastic smirk on his face, and all I wanted to do was kiss it off his face. Wait, what? Kiss? me? With S3ood? Where is this coming from? I felt like such an idiot, it was like I was looking at the situation from above and thinking what the hell is wrong with me? I was just sitting there with my mouth wide open, and my hands itching to grab my sister away from him, why is she holding him? And why do they look so comfortable around eachother?
Meanwhile my sister was looking at him frowning,
"Her name is Noor.."
"Yeah but she likes to be called Noora, if I'm not mistaken?" He said posing the question to me, with a provocative lift of his eyebrow. God. This man will be the death of me. Just kill me right now. I wanted to answer, but it felt like my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth.
"Umm.." I mumbled, umm.. that's all you could come up with? What the hell was wrong with me? I think at that point it clicked with Fa6ma that S3ood was the S3ood, her S3ood was my S3ood.
"S3ood why don't you join us? We were just having breakfast and we have so much to catch up on."
"Ok" he said as he pulled a chair and sat next to me, what the hell is planning on doing to me? I repeat, can you kill me now? Maybe if I die I'll fall into his arms and he will kiss me, you know to give me CPR or something.
"Soooo S3oood, what have you been up to? Wain i5tefait after DC? Nooro S3ood was one of our group in DC but after he graduated 5alana nwaly and we never heard from him again" she said hitting him on his arm, while I was imagining that same arm wrapped around me. Uff.. snap out of it..
"Wallah ma i5tefait, I went back to AD to start work o t3arfeen ildinya masha'3el, I worked for 3 years, but now I'm here doing my masters, and I'm considering a PhD as well bs still not sure. What about you? What have you been up to?"
My sister started talking but I lost track of the conversation when his thigh brushed against mine.
Oh My God.
We're back home now, but I think I can still smell him. What is wrong with me?
I'm not liking this, but I need more info from Fa6oom.
Until next time..

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